A Side of Autism: Surviving Summer & Activity Boxes

I actually prefer winter over summer and there are a few reasons for that.

1. Bugs - I get attacked on the regular and because my blood must be superbly exotic to them - they dine on me like an all you can eat Chinese buffet.  Seriously.
2. Sleep in - I know that was ridiculously funny being a parent.  But I don't have to worry about homework or getting up early to get the kids to their various school taxi/daycare locations. That allows me to sleep in as long as the kids let us.  So far - 7:30am - and that was only because they went to bed after midnight the night before!
3. Sunshine and warmth - which means we don't need to layer our kids up and have to worry about the sun disappearing between 2-3pm.  So far, *KNOCK ON WOOD*, we've actually had a summer where I am tanning and it hasn't rained much! :)
1. A lot of people in Finland complain about it being so bright and the sun never quite sets (ever) - but that's what black-out curtains and melatonin is for.
4. Berry season - This was more of a bonus - but anyways!  Self-explanatory.
5. The kids have daycare and school: No teacher is paid enough in my opinion for doing a good job keeping our kids occupied so we can work/study!  Especially the teachers/care givers with trickier kids or special needs ones....

So here's the thing - I typically (and still kind of do) dread summer holidays every year because the kids don't have a regular schedule, they eat more (since they're not in daycare) and we have no idea what to do with them that wouldn't bore US or THEM after a couple days!

Now, this summer seems to be going okay so far.

Here's our typical schedule - times are flexible of course:

• 6-7:30am: wake up - if it's just M-Girl crawling in our bed - I toss her the iPad with "Big Hero 6" set up on it and she gets to watch her "May-Max!" quietly while Hubster and I get a few more minutes to snooze.
• 8-9:30am: Breakfast and dishwasher emptying/re-loading
• 10 -11am: Hubster takes V-Man out for a hike with the dogs.
• 10am - 1pm: I either take the younger two to the playground or to do errands and meet a friend.  This way they're separated and V-Man doesn't get beaten up by M-Girl and so on.
• 11am - 12:30pm: Lunch somewhere here.
• 1-3pm: NAP TIME! GLORIOUS NAP TIME!!! 
• While they nap - depending on how early they woke me - I'm either napping too or off to the gym for 1-1½ hours. Or I take an evening class for an hour.
• 3-5pm: Play outside - get the kids a snack if they're hungry and see ya.  Go play in the front yard nicely.
• 5-7pm: Supper.
• 7pm: take a melatonin
• 8pm - 6:30am: SLEEP!!!! BEST PART OF THE DAY!!!! (For them - I usually blog or work on something or watch television until late - plus walk the dogs.)

So that's what we're doing so far and it's working.  Nobody has died or freaked out too much and we managed to go for a walk twice to the major grocery store - 1 hour walk - and they survived.  M-Girl has her pram of course as back up - but we managed just fine!

We are also NOT stressing about sticking to a particular schedule because that is ridiculously stressful on US as it is.

What is making a difference too this year is that the kids are older, they're listening a little better and understanding each other more.  

Now that I'm all side-tracked and trying to keep my 24-hours promise of having this done and up properly - what we have done for the V-Man is made him a sensory toy that only he can play with.

So what this is - is a sniffing jar.

I bought from a local craft store, about 12 of these in a box and I filled them with whatever spices I could think of that would be interesting for him to smell.

Off the top of my head:

• Cinnamon
• Tex-Mex
• Dill
• Cumin
• Curry
• Pizza Mix
• Fennel
• Pepper
• Nutmeg

Just as some examples.  I didn't label them - because he's not going to really care right now.

The point of these jars, and I have Overnight Care to thank for the suggestion! - is that he can sort them as he wants, and he can open and close them (life skill!) and smell them.

Have you ever walked by a candle or perfume aisle and not sniffed things?  Well, maybe if you're extremely sensitive - then probably not! 

I love smelling things!!

Well, that's what this is for the V-Man.  It overpowers his senses - from what we can tell - in a good way - and he's happy.

He can easily hand me a jar and ask me to open it and close it after we both smell it - then he puts it away and gives me a different one.

He doesn't like when they're toppled in his box - they have to be nice and neat - something we're learning about him!

Out of the three kids, V-Man is the most meticulous when it comes to eating an ice-cream sandwich at the store.  He's very neat and immediately wipes his fingers (if need be) on his t-shirt or in his hair....

I am working on activity boxes or "task boxes" for him - and this is the first one.

It was fairly affordable to do - I had all the spices handy and didn't fill the jars with much.  The craft jars cost me about 7€ - but of course, if you're fortunate enough to have a dollar store or jars yourself - it's even cheaper!

I got a clear plastic box from the candy section of my grocery store.  They fill up the bulk sections and leave the boxes for anyone that would like to have them.

The jars are plastic by the way - in case the V-Man tries to break them or drops them by accident or throws one.

Happy Summer!  Enjoy it and indulge into your guilty pleasures if you need to!
BIMU

Turning 30 (aka the year of "F*ck it!") and Owning a Bikini

I am 30 years old for all of almost 6 months and have finally decided to take a big step.

I bought my first bikini.

I, like millions of other women, am self-conscious and have never owned one as a child - never mind as a teenager or as a young adult.

Of course, those were the years (the younger ones) when my body was in its best shape and stretch mark-free!

But unlike millions of other women - I was raised to cover my stomach because I don't have a belly button.  I am confident and sure that my parents meant well and didn't want people to stare or ask me questions I simply didn't know the answer to!

I honestly had to do a Google search for "no belly button scar" and got "gastroschisis" - I honestly can't read my doctor's hand writing - so I knew it started with "gastro".  Sad but it's true - doctors handwriting is really difficult to read!

So what does it mean?

It means that I was born with my stomach open - not like a hernia - but my actual stomach on the outside - was wide open and my organs were hanging out.
They rushed me to the OR and tossed them back in and I got a lovely scar that I am finally - FINALLY - comfortable with sharing.
Having being born in the 80's - my doctor confirmed that it should've been picked up in the ultrasound but for some reason, it never was.

"You were quite the surprise delivery!  I'll never forget it!" my lovely doctor told me when I finally gathered the courage to ask her during one of my prenatal appointments with the V-Man.
I also asked if I could carry and deliver a child as naturally as possible, and she confirmed it should be fine.

(I haven't had any issues regarding my scar and any of the pregnancies or deliveries.  Funny enough, the Finnish doctors and midwives thought I had a C-Section gone terribly wrong!  And yes - I have stretch marks.)

When I was 18 and getting my first tattoo, the lady asked me if I wanted my belly button pierced instead - because I brought a friend and was so nervous about the pain of a tattoo.
I laughed my head off and said that wasn't possible but let's get on with the tattoo.  She was a complete stranger and I showed her my stomach quickly and she thought it was beautiful.  She wanted to tattoo birds and vines and flowers along my scar and I felt like it was a kind of nice way to embrace it, out of my 18-year old budget and it would somewhat tarnish it - when I really just wanted my Aquarius symbol tattooed on my back.

I also remembering going to my boyfriend's house after school and telling my Dad I would be home by 9pm and he asked what we were going to do.
"I'm getting my belly button pierced!" I yelled up the stairs and my Dad - God love him - he came rushing with his face flushed red and told me I was NOT allowed to go to my boyfriend's house and I should come straight home.
"But Dad...I don't have one to pierce!" 
He looked at me strangely, told me to be home no later than 9pm and walked away while I cackled out the door.
So yes, I can and do get a crack out of it every now and again.

It took a lack of tankini's (a 2-piece bathing suit but tank top) and not many nice options of a single piece bathing suit - for me to finally cave and get a bikini.

Sure, I could've gotten a bikini and thrown on a t-shirt and had horrible tan lines or had to deal with a wet t-shirt all the way home...

And of course, living in Finland - the wonderful sauna - I've never had issues with going with my husband or my girlfriends and that's because nobody looks at you.  They just talk or sit silently and enjoy the steam.
That and my friend I usually go with on Friday evenings - also wears glasses - so we couldn't see each other if we tried. :P

But - I'm tired.
Not just because I'm a mother - but I was simply tired of hiding my body AND trying to find a suitable bathing suit that wouldn't be too revealing, would be comfortable enough, fits etc.
Of course - I have some rolls and tightening up to do - but I'm finally confident and happy with myself and my body.
I'm not implying I want to be a stripper or porn star any time soon...so to my dear parents - don't freak out if you read this! :P

Turning 30 opened a new chapter in my life  (not just the upcoming "Cougar" status aka turning 40) - in which I simply do not give a sweet f*ck fuck anymore.
I've parted ways with negativity - negative people and those associated or reminded me too much of them and events.
I've opened up my mind to new experiences and things and continue to just try to be the best person I can be and go from there.
I'm learning to do things for ME - and I don't mean using the bathroom and taking a shower...
I'm studying at a Finnish cooking school and finally doing something I've wanted to do since I was 18.

A friend, much wiser and older than me - and has their own set of scars advised me that it's a part of me. It's not going to go away or change -so instead of hating it so much - why not love it?

How can I possibly expect my children to be proud of their bodies and brains - if I am not confident or proud of myself?

So if you have scars, if you have stretch marks - they're a part of you.  Be proud and don't be ashamed.  
Either fork over a ton of cash to try and get rid of them via laser treatments - or just try to embrace them as best as possible.
It can always be worse and just try to take it a day at a time.  That's all anyone can ask of you - and of you to ask of yourself.

You're beautiful - inside and out.

XO,

BIMU

6 Months Later

So back in January, I had signed up for the gym with no expectations.
I also started cooking school at the same time and having a schedule that fluctuated throughout the week meant that I was able to squeeze in some gym time and also some gym classes in the evenings - especially when the V-Man was at overnight/respite care.

For me, the gym was an escape.

I got that "in the zone" high whenever I went - which for me - meant that I focused on what I was doing.  I didn't think about the various things that had to be done like cleaning, grocery shopping, paperwork for the kids, picking up which kid and cooking supper when I got home.

It was a nice "mom-cation" without going anywhere and for pennies a day, if I went minimum five times a week!

I can't tell you how much weight I have lost because shockingly, there isn't a scale at the gym and I also don't own one!
I think for me, this was the most important thing - not having to stress about every single pound/kilogram and to just trust myself and push myself every week a little more.

Well, I can tell you that 6 months later, I'm still loving going to the gym! I have girlfriends that I go with regularly and also seek motivation through Pinterest, friends who have been into the gym routine for years and just seeking the peace and quiet the gym provides me that I don't get at home. :P
I'm more conscious about what I am eating - that's not to say I don't cheat (and I mean more than once a week!) but I cheat with better consideration.

At home, I've purchased some smaller plates and one long rectangle plate from IKEA.  They're all cheap but colourful and the main purpose was for my Instagram photos honestly! :)
The other point of buying smaller plates was to help decrease the portion size I was eating!
I was eating excessively and that had nothing to do with going to the gym - but just sticking to my old habits of eating until I was sure I would burst!

Within a week of eating off smaller plates and decreasing portion sizes - like 2 slices of pizza compared to 4... - my pants are fitting better!
I feel better!

I haven't juiced in ages - which would probably help with the slimming down faster - but when I was in cooking school (currently on summer vacation), I was constantly around food.

Do you know how hard it is to resist freshly cooked food and fresh out of the oven bread?!

I also had to constantly taste this and taste that - which added up with again, large portions at school.
My button to my cooking pants didn't close ever.  Not until the last week of school.
At school, I was provided oatmeal and leftover dessert (if any) for breakfast and lunch was usually quite hearty as well.
So I started loading more salad on my plate - ensuring it took up half the plate, meat a smaller portion and rice or potatoes - only occasionally.
I skipped dessert unless it was something new or fancy.  Or I would split dessert with a friend - half the guilt and half the calories - right? :P

So back to the gym... I've found out that I absolutely love spinning.
I know, if you've been following my blog for awhile - I hated spinning the first day.
I'm glad to say that I have been back every week since and this past week - I went twice.
Yeah - my husband was shocked too but I really enjoy it!  My legs feel like jelly afterward but it's still a successful accomplished feeling for me!
My legs are becoming more muscular and my thighs aren't so jiggly!  Each week I try and push my tension up so I feel the burn.

I also try to go to Body Jam, a dance class that's an hour-long and it's the same dance moves every week and it makes me sweat like a pig.

"I hate sweating!" I used to tell friends and found that I wasn't producing the best results I could with my body until I started sweating.
I'm getting over my disgust of sweating - still can't stand the stench of others - but that's just me.

I am pushing my limit every week in terms of weights being used.

On the tippy toes - it hurts.
Trust me.

I don't know all the names of the machines that I'm using, but I can give you a rough idea of what I am doing (and I can upload this with photos next time I go to the gym):

• I leg press starting from 40 kg up to 80 kg - doing 10 presses, 2 rounds.  Sometimes more if I am chatting with a friend on my phone - or am blogging! :P
• I do a lower back press starting at 30 kg up to 55 kg.  This was especially important for me after I had a minor accident on my 30th birthday back in February and I fell on ice twice - and the following morning, twisted and cramped my lower back muscles!!
• I do a variety of dips in groups of ten.
• I take two 8kg kettle bells and walk 15 long steps across the gym, but dipping my body down as far as I can go.  It's not a race and I don't walk fast.  I do this really slowly and when I forward lunge/dip - I put all my weight down. I then walk back the same distance.
• I use the row machine and go from 15kg to 40kg.  This is excellent for me because I do walk two large dogs and with Milo being a very strong dog and a puller - this has helped me with walking him by strengthening those muscles needed to hold a dog bag when needed!  Loki is 36kg and really responsive and often goes off leash with me because he's motivated by treats and rubs.
  Milo isn't there yet and is only 25kg but is still quite strong for such a slim dog.
• I do something like rowing - where you lean back a bit to pull and lift the weights (again, this is why photos are necessary! :P) and can go from 20kg to 40kg so far.
• I jump on the soft blocks they have a few rounds.
• I do some more arm exercises with machines and it ranges from 15-35kg.
• I do quads - meaning sitting against a wall and squatting down while my thighs burn.  I was also advised by another gym nut friend of mine to do quads while on my tippy toes - yeah - that burns a lot more.
• I hate the treadmill - but will speed walk (I do this naturally anyway) and jog a bit on it.
• I despise the stair master - but will do one round on the machine, which is equivalent to 10 floors.
• Sometimes I'll use the exercise bike.  

Once that's all done - it takes upwards of 1-1½ hours, I spend a minimum of 20 minutes stretching.

I use whatever is available.

I change my music list (I use Spotify on my phone for free - but right now they have this 99 cents sale for 3 months for the summer!) - from my "GYM" list to my "Yoga & Stretching" list.

• There's a broomstick handle and I do side lunges with those while wrapping my arms upward and holding on to the handle. I also twist my body side to side and forwards/backwards while holding onto the handle too.
• I do yoga - just some basic moves - whatever feels good and makes my body relax in the end.
• I bend backwards while "climbing" down the wall behind me and also I walk up the wall behind me while my hands are on the floor.  If a friend goes with me some time - I'll get them to take a photo! Mostly because I'm curious how ridiculous I look! :P

And that's it!  It can take a total of 1.5-2 hours for me to do all of this.

When I first started, I was done within an hour.  I'm slowly extending my time at the gym - depending on scheduling with Hubster and the kids - and increasing the weights each week and the reps as well.

Anyways, until next time!

BIMU