Yeah you. You know exactly who you are.
I know who you are - and I want you to know - it'll be okay.
It's okay to cry. It's okay to yell and shout.
It's okay to be frustrated and sad and happy - all within a half a day (or less!).
It's okay to feel like it never gets better and it's okay to feel hopeful for the future.
It's okay to try your absolute hardest and give your 150% because 100% sometimes doesn't seem like it's ever enough.
It's okay to step back and take a moment to collect your thoughts and to breathe or to count to ten - or even a thousand.
It's okay to feel like the world's shittiest caregiver or parent every now and again - especially when people think you're doing an amazing job.
It's okay to feel like you love your kids like no other - and it's okay to feel like you detest them too.
It's okay to have one child only - or more.
It's okay to adopt or foster.
It's okay to not have children too.
It's okay to feel weak.
It's okay to feel strong.
It's okay to say "no" and take a break from some responsibilities.
It's okay to sob your head off, stuff your face with your guilty pleasures like chips, over-priced ice-cream and take-out.
It's okay to think "you're not cut out for this" - I don't think anyone thinks they are in the beginning.
It's okay to vent.
It's okay to explore new options and changes.
It's okay to go to counselling for your marriage or your family or even yourself.
It's okay to feel like you're to blame for a bit - and it's okay to feel confused. But some things just happen out of your control.
It's okay to take medicine to help you sleep or help you cope with everything going on around you (please refer to your local medical practitioner for this.)
It's okay to keep a secret to yourself and not share with your best friends or family.
It's okay to think the wildest and worst things - acting on them is a different story.
It's okay to be selfish once in awhile.
It's okay to admit you need help - even with the little things that society has deemed you should be able to handle on your own.
It's more than okay to ask for help too.
"It can always be worse" - is something one of my best friends had preached into my head when we worked together and I would get frustrated over the little things.
It's true, even though it's a thought that will never cross through your mind during a moment of rage, shouts, screams, fights and while dodging the pinches and bites.
This does not mean that your concerns are less than another's! This is my personal way of trying to think positively in a moment of frustration and when I feel like giving up and throwing in the towel. This may not work for you.
"There's no other tougher critic of yourself than you" - I don't know where I found this quote but I want you to know that while you think you're having the worst day in the world and you feel down in the dumps over how you handled your kid's reaction in public or at home - you're not alone.
It might not seem like it - but it's going to be okay.
You. Do. You.
If you feel like there is nobody to talk to, to listen to you or help - please try the applicable hot line for your country - found here. I know it's not easy - but you can make it through this rough patch in life.
Much love,
BIMU
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