I'm Not A Super Mom.

A lot of my friends and followers think I'm a super mom of some kind and I'm really not.
This will sound like one of those posts that is putting myself down or negative Nancy-but it's not.
It's just the truth with a helping of random ramblings.
I'm not one of those "warrior moms" either.
I am a mother of 3 kids- one just happens to have an autistic cherry on top and I live in Finland.  I'm not offended or bothered by the title or acknowledgement - I just don't think it fits me.

I'm not a super mom because:

• I've stopped using PECS with my son for over two years because we were losing photo cards, they were being destroyed or he just wasn't interested.  Let's face it- it's hard to be motivated when the other party doesn't give a crap.
• I don't always feed my kids super nutritious and well balanced meals.  So if my Instagram looks a little naked on the home-cooked meals front - it's because we're probably eating something fast and easy and lacking veggies.
• My place is a mess-borderline disgusting- and it's the last thing on my mind. If I can walk through, over or around- I'm good! (And this means not tripping on a dinky car or Lego pieces...)
• My dishwasher needs to be fixed (stupid pump) and while my landlord is super about calling the repair dude - I'm THAT lazy I will wait until the last moment before hand-washing those dishes in my dishwasher...It's only been 24 hours... :P

I could go on forever about the things that I don't do as a "super mom" but there are some things that I'm awesome at (and you are too!):

• Nobody's died or had food poisoning!  So I guess I'm cooking and baking alright.
• Nobody's broken a bone from tripping or falling on anything or from fighting with each other.
• This I am surprised at the most and also have minimal control over.  But still!
• Our dirty laundry has yet to touch our ceiling...
• Nothing has caught on fire. *KNOCK ON WOOD*
• I've mastered the lick my thumb and wipe my kids' faces, haven't lost or forgotten any child or errand so far.
  (It's the simple things.)

I am grateful and fortunate enough to have a spouse that knows when I say I need a nap-it means I need a nap before I snap.
By "snap" I mean I get pretty mouthy. I swear a lot-especially when A-Man was waking everyone up at 5:22am everyday for nearly a month- including spring break.
I don't pull the whole "F-you" bomb but I do spit out various curse words (including the F-bomb itself) reputedly until I get a nap.  (Yes I swear around my kids and I am trying to quit.)
My definition of a nap is minimum 2 hours. I've had to tone it down to 1 hour and 15 minutes (the 15 minutes is for me to try to fall asleep and if I fall asleep faster- great!).
Why do I nap? Because I'm tired. Usually we stayed up too late to watch a show or I took the dogs out really late or the kids were up in the middle of the night. Sometimes M-Girl ends up in our bed and I get beaten in my sleep! "She rolls around in her sleep" is an understatement. She's karate chopped me, scratched me, drop kicked me in the throat...a ninja in training. Elektra would be proud.
I also nap to escape the kids for a bit. I know that sounds awful- but seeing as we don't have family that could take the kids for us for a night- I try to get a mommy-break by napping.
And who doesn't need an escape route every now and again?

I'm trying to get into using PECS with the V-Man and honestly? We haven't used them in over two years.
Crappy parenting- probably. But on the flip side- this has forced us to find another way to communicate with the V-Man and he seems happy with object communication. Object communication means if he wants something- he shows us by bringing us the item or leading us to it.
For example, wanting to go outside? He will bring his boots. Wanting a drink? He will bring a cup to us.
I recently made a video on Facebook (will get to Youtube this weekend and try to upload everything).

That is not to say that there aren't super moms and dads out there - there so is!
I just think that having an autistic kid and an SLI kid isn't as bad as what other parents have to go through - and in comparison - those are the super hero parents.

I get asked regularly is: "How do you do it?"
Well, I have a really great partner who I've mentioned - let's me nap when I desperately need it (still not on the coffee train) and I try to manage my time as effectively as possible.
Most times I respond with "I don't know - I just have to."

Right now the A-Man has a tummy bug and is watching television, Hubster is out of town and the other 2 kids are in school/daycare.
When it comes to meal times - I try to give myself 45 minutes to prep, cook and have supper on the table.  Really big holiday meals - I do in sections throughout the day and I prep the night before once they're asleep too.
My slow cooker is my best friend for some meals and my bread machine is my extra hand!
I know I used to be one of those parents that thought "I'll never let my kids watch a huge amount of television" and they don't - except on weekends usually.
But when they're sick - as long as I don't have to catch puke and diarrhea-filled flung diapers - I can try to rest up my energy and do what needs to get done, put some effort in cooking meals and tidy up.
(After A-Man's recent bout of the tummy flu - he now knows where to get sick - thank heavens for that.)

I try to not buy Pepsi or other sugary sodas to keep me going and try to just rest up as much as possible when I can.
I also have a secret tub of Ben & Jerry's ice-cream waiting for me if this anything goes horribly wrong while Hubster is out of town for 1.5 days and a friend coming over for dinner tonight to give me a hand with the dogs.

My motto that I try to live by is (shout out to one of my besties Sarah for teaching me this religiously while crunching numbers at our job):

It can always be worse.

Just try to survive, make sure everyone is in one piece by the end of the day and ensure you have your favourite guilty treats handy as soon as everyone else is asleep! :)
And yes - you are awesome, you got this and you CAN do it!

Now where's my spoon and ice-cream? :D
BIMU

Oh Yeah- There's Another One!

You know when you need to have a good meltdown- but you're in public so you totally can't without looking like a super hot mess?

That is me on the bus right now. I'm listening to my gym list on my phone and pounding this out as fast as I can before I get A-Man from daycare. The rest will probably get typed up while I'm waiting (forever) for them to fall asleep.

Today we had one of those meeting where only the dogs and the kids were missing. It was about the A-Man's progress and this meeting had been booked at least 4 months ago.
The psychologist was there, two of his teachers and his new speech therapist.
Fun times.

We went over as much as we could cram into 1.5 hours.  After 1 hour I'm exhausted but we truck into new territory.
M-Girl.
Of course they ask how things are at home and how the kids interact (or don't) with each other.
(Fast forward to the next day because I went on a Modern Family season 6 binge session and sobbed my head off and am currently at the gym.)

Who knew cycling would be an excellent spot to blog?!

"She's fine. She's best friends with A-Man and doesn't do much with V-Man other than to lay a smack down on him when she feels pissed." -was my general statement.

"Ok but how is her speech?"
Hubster and I stare at each other and it clicks.

She is 2 and doesn't speak in sentences with the (her sized) handful consisting of:
"Come on! Let's go! Hurry- she's coming!"

So maximum three word sentences. And that's about all of it.

We then realized that we don't really "talk" or I should say that we don't encourage her to talk a lot (manners and saying what she wants aside).
We aren't telling her to be quiet but we haven't actually sat down with her and tried to get her to say her alphabet or numbers or to repeat words with us.

I guess when you have two kids with speech problems you kind of forget that the other child might have something and in our case, she can say single words and had gotten by just fine under the radar. Because she can speak -just not in question or sentence formats.
Even as a baby this was common- her flying under the radar because she rarely woke up crying. She talked and wiggled. That was it!
While her motor skills seem to be on par (she was a very early walker)- she also feels minimal pain when hurting herself (some tears are shed then she moves on) and often goes back to doing whatever it was that caused her lump on her head!
It's not that we ignore her whatsoever - but we've been so focused on making sure that V-Man isn't trying to escape/feed the dogs un-necessary amounts of extra food - never mind all the other stuff he's up to lately (i.e. emptying cupboards and emptying spice jars/boxes) and also trying to encourage the A-Man to speak more as well - that we forget perhaps she needs help too.

Anyways, I have tried to hold my shit together (so to speak) and saved my tears for last night.
Pretty much they're concerned and they suggested strongly to get her daycare staff to forward a request to get her tested- depending on how well she speaks Finnish at daycare. So all I can do is hope that the Hubster remembers to ask and then wait.

According to their language assessment of the A-Man- he's improving. Based on Finnish when he first started back in August- he scored a 23/60 points. It's a huge check list of things that include understanding, reading, writing  and speaking.
He's recently been evaluated again and scored 32/60- so a big improvement in half a year.
This test was done by a teacher with several years of special needs education under her belt- and in English he did much better.
So I do trust their results and evaluation and am glad they do it and tell us after the fact- less stress I guess!

As an update, M-Girl's daycare teachers are not worried at all about her Finnish skills because she is able to express what she wants and understands what she's being told.
So far, that is a relief - but you can see my worry!
We'll keep an eye on her and see how it goes from there and in the mean time, I am trying to have one-on-one read & repeat sessions with her and we're digging out the communication board for her to utilize.
Because a sentence is a huge verbal commitment for a child that has gotten away with not really using any - and if she can at least point to what she wants in a sentence structure and say some of the words - then we can build on sentences from there!

BIMU

NY Resolution Recipe #12: Cheesy Garlic Fingers + Dipping Sauce (Bacon is "optional")

Something I realized about where I live - is that there are several pizza and kebab restaurants and not one of them sells cheesy garlic fingers.
Garlic fingers (if you're not familiar) is more or less pizza dough with loads of garlic butter on top and cheese - and of course - bacon is optional.

I'm from Canada and there's always some sort of combo of pizza and garlic fingers  - which is handy for the vegetarians (bacon aside of course) who might not eat the communal pizza!

So as a spur of the last moment decision - I decided to try to make some.
I don't know how I haven't EVER tried to make my own - but it suddenly became necessary that I try.

What you need:

• Pizza dough (I use this recipe in my bread machine!)
• I also added liquid garlic to the dough mixture so it'd be nice and garlic-y!
• Liquid garlic or very finely minced garlic (or both really)
• Dried parsley and chives
• A lot of butter - about a quarter cup!
• A lot of shredded cheese! (I just used a pizza blend.)
• Optional: Already cooked and crumbled bacon.
• I have discovered cooking the bacon in the oven! Less mess and fairly quick at 200*C for 15 minutes on the middle rack with baking paper underneath for even less mess! :)

What to do:

1. Pre-heat your oven to 225*C and roll out your pizza dough onto a lined baking sheet.
2. Melt your butter, minced garlic, dried parsley and chives in the microwave in a microwave-safe bowl.
3. Brush/drown your rolled out dough with your garlic butter mixture, sprinkle cheese generously all over and top with crumbled up bacon.
4. Bake for about 10 minutes until cheese is bubbling and dough edges are golden brown.
5. Enjoy it all - or share - without shame. :D

Now, you're probably wondering what kind of sauce goes best with cheesy garlic fingers?

According to my Californian friend - Dominos serves theirs with some sort of tomato sauce. Probably pizza sauce.  Probably not as amazing as Donair sauce...oh donair.

A donair is a Canadian invention of sorts - delicious all year round, cures hangovers (so I hear) and in general is amazing.  And the official food of Halifax, Nova Scotia I read online!

Read more about the beauty of a donair here.

But what goes best with donair is its side kick - the sauce.
Which looks like plain ol' white whatever - but is amazing and apparently so freaking easy to make - I'm disappointed and thrilled!
Disappointed because no amount of gym hours is going to save me....thrilled because it's easy as pie!

And guess what? You don't need to live in Canada to make it.
All the ingredients are readily (usually) available in most stores!

Vinegar, condensed (sweetened) milk and garlic powder - OMG.  That's it!  Whisk and chill.  So delicious.  Also amazing on pizza too since you're probably having that too, right?  I found the recipe here! 

Quick review: It's amazing and easy and tastes like back home! :)

These are great for potlucks, birthday parties, having guests over or just for yourself!

Of course I had to make pizza as well...

Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed getting fat with me making your own garlic fingers!  ;)

BIMU

PS Originally posted here.

I'm Baffled.

Dear City of Jyväskylä,

Allow me to introduce myself - my name is Dominique and I am a Canadian citizen living in your charming little city for the past 6.5 years.
I pay my taxes, have tried to learn Finnish and am even attending a wonderful cooking school (in Finnish).
I have three children V-Man, A-Man and M-Girl and they are all given the utmost Finnish names possible because we are proud to call Finland our home.
We would love to live here for the rest of our lives as we have a great relationship with the community, have built multiple friendships here and thoroughly love the way of life here.
We love the smallness of the city, the nature surrounding us regularly and the knowledge that our children are safe and happy here.

We are in quite a unique situation as we never know what the following year will bring us because of my husband's field and specialty - jobs are scarce and hard to come by.  Fair enough - this applies to most of the academics all around the world.
However what makes our situation particularly interesting is that our son V-Man is diagnosed (as of 2011) with non-verbal autism and as of 2014 - mental retardation.
So it isn't easy to simply choose another place to live and move wherever we like.

We had been informed last week that it was urgent that the V-Man get an extra special safety harness for the taxi rides to and from school because he has learned how to un-buckle his seat belt.
We immediately sent a message to his social worker and as it was Friday and her office was probably closed - we didn't get a response until this week.  The message was simple - "Have the teacher call me between 10-11 today."
Fair enough - I sent off a text to his teacher this message and a few days later (today) - his school assistant called me with this news:

"The social worker said they cannot cover the cost of the body harness he needs in the car because he is not handicapped or in a wheelchair - so he doesn't need it (according to the social worker)."

Let me paint you a picture of why I believe (and seemingly everyone else but the social worker and you - the city) the V-Man needs this harness:

Google searched image.

•  This is what the taxi vehicle looks like - more or less.  It has the capability to carry approximately 5-7 children with a wheelchair (or two?) in the back.
• As far as I know (compared to other countries), there is no assistant/responsible adult sitting in the back with the kids in case of emergency or disturbance.  It's only a single adult driving, securing and supervising each child on his own.
• This may be standard all over Finland - but I am clarifying the entire situation as best as possible for those that may have questions.
• While there are some extra measures that could be taken by the driver - such as extra seat belts - it appears that the V-Man can escape that too.  Not only that - but not every taxi has them.

I am baffled that my child doesn't qualify for a safety harness because I'm sure we can agree that one loose child (neurotypical or not) in any sized vehicle can cause a lot of serious damage .

• If he can unbuckle his own seat belt - he can unbuckle other children's belts too.  And those children that are wheelchair bound or dependent on devices to strap them in securely and safely - will end up seriously hurt.
• The V-Man is getting smarter by the day and thinks outside the box and I assure you that un-locking doors won't be hard after some practice.
• He is fast and a very strong child - and he's only 6.  This will continue to intensify as he gets older.
• What will the driver do if he is in a position where he cannot pull over safely - to secure my child again (repeatedly)?  Intersections, turns, small side streets or during traffic - even a regular open highway - is dangerous having a child run about.

I am not thrilled that my child is a safety hazard to others.  I am not proud of his brilliant mind for figuring out how to cause the drivers grief and stress of transporting him to and from school.  I am a bag of nerves every day with my phone in my pocket and volume on high in case I get a horrible phone call that an accident has occurred.

I've been incredibly grateful for the taxi services he has had in the past and am in a position where we cannot bring our child to the daycare/school ourselves.

It is a 45-minutes long bus ride and my husband works and I also study full time on the other side of town.  We do not have a vehicle and he is far too large to consider putting in a bicycle child's seat or trailer.

We also have two other children to transport to separate daycares (A-Man has a speech impediment and goes to a special needs daycare as well - again, other side of town and not the same direction as my school, my husband's office or M-Girl's daycare) - so as I've mentioned - we appreciate having the taxi service to begin with.

Now, this is where I'm genuinely upset and pissed off as a parent.

You are (clearly) willing to risk the lives of other children (along with my own and the driver!) by declining him a safety harness.

You've been sued in the past (within the last 2-3 years) by another family - we have a mutual therapist - who had the exact same situation as us.  A very active and clever child who got out of the seat belts and needed a tighter restraint in order to be transported to and from school.  A child with no understanding for safety of themselves or others travelling with them.

The mutual therapist got in touch with me quickly when I e-mailed her for help and told me that they had to get a note from the disability center's doctor and the hospital were the ones charged with the harness.  They got theirs within a week and from 0 help from the city.

This family sued the city over the rights of the safety of the child and won.  It cost the city more to lose a case than to provide the means of getting them a safety harness.

Here is the most interesting fact about their case:

Their child is not in a wheelchair.  Just like mine.

So I am highly curious, along with his teachers, my friends and hopefully a city council member (whom I'm reaching out to with this post via one of V-Man's lovely overnight care staff) as to where is the line drawn when it comes to a child's safety?

If my child isn't provided with a harness from the city, these are the scenarios I picture:

• A fatal car crash - regardless of road conditions or visibility.  
• Serious injury or death - of another person because they were unbuckled by my son and need to be properly secured upright.

I cannot describe the frustration that has been building up from the moment I received that disappointing phone call - to now, as I write this.

Your single message via the (city-based) social worker says this to me:

"We don't care.  We are above the law."

And to confirm this, I found via Infopankki's website:

"Finnish law states that a disabled person must not be discriminated against because of his or her disability. A disabled person has the right to live a normal life, for example, to study, work and start a family.

Municipalities are required to organise services for disabled persons who need them. These services include, for example, transport and assistant services. If you have a residence permit and a municipality of residence in Finland, you are entitled to the services that your municipality offers. Read more on the services for disabled persons and how to apply for them on the Infopankki page."

If you're wondering why we haven't purchased one ourselves - we are currently unable to.  My husband's contract ends at the end of the year and with no guarantee of an extension of any kind - we may have to return to Canada - and I'm sure we all know the kinds of airline prices we will be facing as a family of five and with two dogs - as well during the holiday season. 

Sincerely yours,

Dominique Riggs

PS I do have this other family contact information and will be in touch to see what procedures they had to go through entirely and the finer details of their case to see where lies the difference.
It may be that I strictly have to go through my child's special needs doctor - which is fine and dandy - happy to do it but it would be nice if the social worker reached out to me personally and addressed this issue and advised me what to do.

Update (April 9th, 2016): I've been in touch with the other family and that safety harness is 800€ - holy cow.

For PECS Sakes!

For those that don't know - PECS = Picture Exchange Communication System.
It's a variety of picture cards used by the nonverbal community (not just by those with autism) to help them communicate their needs and wants.

I'll be the first to admit that we are absolute sh*t for using those cards. It's not that it doesn't work for V-Man. In the beginning of his diagnosis we were vigilant in using them for every little thing.
Then we had more kids and using PECS became an obstacle because they would go missing. Or ripped up (yes even the laminated ones got ripped up once chewed on enough!) or drooled on. The list goes on but you get the idea.

After an at home visit last week with the speech therapist (we have a new one that is seeing both boys because our previous had moved)- it was obvious we are crappy parents in terms of using PECS.
I have a blog post I'll post soon about why I'm not a super mom -but I'll continue...

We have found that V-Man using objects to communicate with us just worked better for everyone (aside from teachers and therapists).
Why? Because it eliminated the middle man (cards) - so to speak. We didn't have to use the cards- he could tell us what he wanted by giving us a cup for a drink, loaf of bread for when he's hungry, guide our hands to the DVD cabinet and so on.
This way there's no lost cards, no ripping Velcro sound to distract him and it doesn't cause the V-Man extra stares in public or pique the kids interest - which would lead to lost cards.

But now we are finally putting an effort into trying to be consistent with the school and overnight care and use those PECS.

"I want _____"
No and yes in Finnish

So as you can see - his PECS folder is simply a small binder with sticky velcro on the cover to give him a sentence strip "Minä haluan (I want) ____" and options on the bottom.
We were advised by his teacher that he's actually pretty good at picking what he wants from the book - so I stuck the Yes and No on the front for easier access.

The inside contains laminated sheets - so you could use sticky tack on the photos and the pages - but thankfully he has the sticky velcro glued in!

To use it - have your child remove the photo he or she wants (or has interests in!) and give it to you.
It takes a lot of patience and eventually your child can go from just 1 photo to picking what they want - to building a sentence and eventually - a communication board where they point out what they want! :)

Seeing as the V-Man hadn't used PECS at home with us in ages - he did quite alright.  He gave me a "Why do you have MY book?!" face and after a bit - realized I do know how to use it with him and was happy to tell me what to do. :)

It's all about consistency and trying.
For those that want to make your own cards - some kids respond better to actual photos of places and people - you could do it in Microsoft Word and make a table/chart and make the cards as big as you like and copy/paste photos in there.

Or you can download a variety of apps - just search for "PECS" or "autism" or "communication" and there should be some there.

For those that understand Finnish - or are willing to wing it - there's an online free system that helps you to create your own PECS called "Papu net".  Unfortunately clicking on the "English" tab doesn't provide you with the same services - so you'll have to go here in Finnish.

For those that shop online - Etsy has a great selection of PECS creators and here's one folder I bought with a wide selection of pictures. (Non-affiliated links!)

Enjoy,

BIMU

PS I'm not a therapist (obviously!) - just wanted to share our experience and links!

New Year's Resolution Recipe #11: Parma Chicken!

If you're looking for what appears to be a fairly classy-looking meal that won't break the bank - then I present to you "Parma Chicken"!
This is something I made at cooking school recently and decided I had to try it at home with my own twist on things.

What you need:

• Chicken breasts
• Prosciutto or any other kind of similar smoked ham strips (a nice smokey bacon could work too)
• Pesto (home-made or from a jar)
• Sun dried tomatoes sliced
• Caramelized onion chutney (or whatever flavour you fancy)
• salt and pepper

Pre-heat your oven to 200*C (400*F).

Spray your deep baking dish with cooking spray.

If your chicken breasts are thick - then take a sharp knife and make a small but deep cut and go length-wise so you don't make a hole on both sides of the meat - this helps to create a pocket in the chicken breast.  Do this to all the breasts and then fill with pesto and sun dried tomato pieces.

If you can fit in chutney - great!  If not - spread some on top of the chicken breast and then wrap a slice of prosciutto or bacon around it.

I served it with potato pancakes - which were supposed to be croquettes originally but I lacked chilling time for the mashed potatoes - so I improvised! :)

Alternative - which is what I did because my breast meat wasn't thick enough - lie your chicken breast flat, spread pesto and sun dried tomato pieces and chutney, roll quickly and wrap with a slice of prosciutto.
Sprinkle some salt and pepper on top and bake for 20 minutes or so - until chicken breast is cooked through completely.

Enjoy!
BIMU

PS Originally posted here.

Why April Is Important.

Please see bottom for my apology and why we will be parting ways with this "Light it up blue/wear blue (unless by chance) & Autism Speaks" - not that we were in any partnership with Autism Speaks and haven't read anything from their site - but I wanted to clarify.

Ask me a few years ago- pre-pregnancy or even before V-Man's diagnosis and I couldn't tell you why April 2nd is kind of a big deal for thousands of families around the world.
Now that I have someone autistic in my life (and recently found out my cousin is on the spectrum too- although not biologically related- so no genetic ties to V-Man at least)- autism has become a huge part of my life.

Of course everyday for us is autism awareness day-both negatively and (recently) positively speaking.
It is especially a "Spread the awareness" kind of day when I have to take the V-Man out to get groceries or even worse- go to the nurse/doctor or hospital. I internally grimace at the sh*t he can cause when in health centre zones and imagine myself with a glass of wine...

So for those that don't know- April is autism awareness month and specifically- today (April 2nd) is autism awareness day. It probably would've been earlier, like on the first but April Fool's Day was booked decades ago.

So why is it actually important to me?
I try not to eat, sleep and breathe autism-related things all the time because I'm a mom of an autistic kiddo, V-Man. But I'm also the mom of two other kids and while they're still young and not quite understanding of what autism is and why their big brother does things the way he does- I still advocate the need to educate people about autism.
That and I have other hobbies and interests beside autism-related things. (I don't mean this in a rude or ignorant manner-I simply want to keep myself happy and my family happy because autism can be a downer sometimes!)

I don't have a science degree or a future career related to autism (I'm in cooking school)- but what I do have is the V-Man.
The first couple of years (pre-diagnosis times)- the V-Man was hitting milestones like any other kid (except speaking) -mostly on time - but hitting so many autism milestones at the same time, we had no idea.
Things like refusing to be bottle fed, refusing a soother, walking on his toes, grinding his teeth, flapping his hands (stimming), being a picky eater (he could tell Chiquita bananas from other brands based on touch and taste), having a hard time adjusting to strangers or new surroundings... The list goes on but man could he jump and climb and had 0 fear about everything he did.

April means to me- the chance for my son's differences to shine.
It means he's just as special as any other kid and just as capable.
It means that autism is a real condition, a real thing and not just a "phase V-Man will grow out of".
It means that those with autism face real life struggles with every day common things (for the neurotypical person) and that they truly need help of all kinds but most importantly-they need patience and understanding.
It means that we can try to stop the stigma that autistic people can't do anything and everything a neurotypical person can do but shine on the fact that they have particular habits and skills that are just as awesome.
It means that if we ever have to move from Finland- the first two things I look at in a potential new country for us is: autism health care services (costs, availability etc) and how safe of a place it is. I cringe and cry every time I hear about innocent autistic (and other disabilities!) people getting hurt because the emergency staff isn't trained to recognize someone with autism. Or because they weren't safe at school or a public setting- the list goes on. Of course no country is perfect but those are the things we have to consider. We can't just pick a place with decent schools and friendly neighbourhoods- there's so much more to it for us.

We happened to be wearing blue.

It means raising awareness that there are people in the world that think so differently from you and I and we should also learn how to embrace it.


Thanks to everyone who has ever asked me questions about what our life is like with an autistic child, shared some autism-related link, offered to give a hand or a cup of tea to cry over, or just listened.

The pre-diagnosis years were super tough but things are getting easier.
I'm working on basic life skill with the V-Man everyday and as simple as the task may be- he's a different child.
He no longer screams out of boredom or feeling useless. He has little chores and tasks to do and that makes him smile and happy. He feels loved, challenged and valued- and he knows (I'm sure) that his participation is appreciated.

And that is why April is important to me.
BIMU

PS Important update:

Dear everyone:

I just removed anything that has to deal with the "Light it up blue" / Autism Speaks campaign as I had no idea that AS has such a negative view on autism.
I realize that living in Finland- I miss a lot of history on various companies (especially if the news is primarily based in North America) - and after reading SEVERAL comments about how Autism Speaks (which created the wear blue campaign)- I will not be supporting the "Light it up blue" campaign.
The best way to encourage and spread autism awareness is by talking about it.
Answering questions people have, asking your own questions and living your life to the fullest.
I'll let you do your own research but the basics are: nobody autistic is on their advisory board and less than 4% of donations gets used for families with autistic family members. That saddens and disgusts me. They're semi- anti-vaxers as well and we all know that had been debunked repeatedly.

While we deeply appreciate all of our friends who chose to wear blue today (and we did as well unintentionally!) but we will be parting ways with that idea in future- unless of course, it's by chance.
They are also semi anti-vaxxers and for me - that's a no go.  Especially when it involves putting other people's children at risk and their lives.  And we all know that these theories about vaccines "causing autism" has been debunked repeatedly.

Thanks for your understanding,
BIMU