Wednesday, 20 April 2016

I'm Not A Super Mom.

A lot of my friends and followers think I'm a super mom of some kind and I'm really not.
This will sound like one of those posts that is putting myself down or negative Nancy-but it's not.
It's just the truth with a helping of random ramblings.
I'm not one of those "warrior moms" either.
I am a mother of 3 kids- one just happens to have an autistic cherry on top and I live in Finland.  I'm not offended or bothered by the title or acknowledgement - I just don't think it fits me.

I'm not a super mom because:
  • I've stopped using PECS with my son for over two years because we were losing photo cards, they were being destroyed or he just wasn't interested.  Let's face it- it's hard to be motivated when the other party doesn't give a crap.
  • I don't always feed my kids super nutritious and well balanced meals.  So if my Instagram looks a little naked on the home-cooked meals front - it's because we're probably eating something fast and easy and lacking veggies.
  • My place is a mess-borderline disgusting- and it's the last thing on my mind. If I can walk through, over or around- I'm good! (And this means not tripping on a dinky car or Lego pieces...)
  • My dishwasher needs to be fixed (stupid pump) and while my landlord is super about calling the repair dude - I'm THAT lazy I will wait until the last moment before hand-washing those dishes in my dishwasher...It's only been 24 hours... :P
I could go on forever about the things that I don't do as a "super mom" but there are some things that I'm awesome at (and you are too!):
  • Nobody's died or had food poisoning!  So I guess I'm cooking and baking alright.
  • Nobody's broken a bone from tripping or falling on anything or from fighting with each other.
    • This I am surprised at the most and also have minimal control over.  But still!
  • Our dirty laundry has yet to touch our ceiling...
  • Nothing has caught on fire. *KNOCK ON WOOD*
  • I've mastered the lick my thumb and wipe my kids' faces, haven't lost or forgotten any child or errand so far.
    (It's the simple things.)
I am grateful and fortunate enough to have a spouse that knows when I say I need a nap-it means I need a nap before I snap.
By "snap" I mean I get pretty mouthy. I swear a lot-especially when A-Man was waking everyone up at 5:22am everyday for nearly a month- including spring break.
I don't pull the whole "F-you" bomb but I do spit out various curse words (including the F-bomb itself) reputedly until I get a nap.  (Yes I swear around my kids and I am trying to quit.)
My definition of a nap is minimum 2 hours. I've had to tone it down to 1 hour and 15 minutes (the 15 minutes is for me to try to fall asleep and if I fall asleep faster- great!).
Why do I nap? Because I'm tired. Usually we stayed up too late to watch a show or I took the dogs out really late or the kids were up in the middle of the night. Sometimes M-Girl ends up in our bed and I get beaten in my sleep! "She rolls around in her sleep" is an understatement. She's karate chopped me, scratched me, drop kicked me in the throat...a ninja in training. Elektra would be proud.
I also nap to escape the kids for a bit. I know that sounds awful- but seeing as we don't have family that could take the kids for us for a night- I try to get a mommy-break by napping.
And who doesn't need an escape route every now and again?

I'm trying to get into using PECS with the V-Man and honestly? We haven't used them in over two years.
Crappy parenting- probably. But on the flip side- this has forced us to find another way to communicate with the V-Man and he seems happy with object communication. Object communication means if he wants something- he shows us by bringing us the item or leading us to it.
For example, wanting to go outside? He will bring his boots. Wanting a drink? He will bring a cup to us.
I recently made a video on Facebook (will get to Youtube this weekend and try to upload everything).

That is not to say that there aren't super moms and dads out there - there so is!
I just think that having an autistic kid and an SLI kid isn't as bad as what other parents have to go through - and in comparison - those are the super hero parents.

I get asked regularly is: "How do you do it?"
Well, I have a really great partner who I've mentioned - let's me nap when I desperately need it (still not on the coffee train) and I try to manage my time as effectively as possible.
Most times I respond with "I don't know - I just have to."

Right now the A-Man has a tummy bug and is watching television, Hubster is out of town and the other 2 kids are in school/daycare.
When it comes to meal times - I try to give myself 45 minutes to prep, cook and have supper on the table.  Really big holiday meals - I do in sections throughout the day and I prep the night before once they're asleep too.
My slow cooker is my best friend for some meals and my bread machine is my extra hand!
I know I used to be one of those parents that thought "I'll never let my kids watch a huge amount of television" and they don't - except on weekends usually.
But when they're sick - as long as I don't have to catch puke and diarrhea-filled flung diapers - I can try to rest up my energy and do what needs to get done, put some effort in cooking meals and tidy up.
(After A-Man's recent bout of the tummy flu - he now knows where to get sick - thank heavens for that.)

I try to not buy Pepsi or other sugary sodas to keep me going and try to just rest up as much as possible when I can.
I also have a secret tub of Ben & Jerry's ice-cream waiting for me if this anything goes horribly wrong while Hubster is out of town for 1.5 days and a friend coming over for dinner tonight to give me a hand with the dogs.

My motto that I try to live by is (shout out to one of my besties Sarah for teaching me this religiously while crunching numbers at our job):

It can always be worse.

Just try to survive, make sure everyone is in one piece by the end of the day and ensure you have your favourite guilty treats handy as soon as everyone else is asleep! :)
And yes - you are awesome, you got this and you CAN do it!

Now where's my spoon and ice-cream? :D

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