Thursday, 19 February 2015

Trying to Be A Grown-Up

I won't bother apologizing for being a lazy blogger.
Everyone has been having a round with the flu lately and I'm finally getting hit with rounds in the bathroom that has me almost having the amount of tiles counted on the opposite wall from my "throne".

Well, just thought I'd write something that has been on my mind for awhile.

What the heck am I going to do for a job in the future?!
Sure, being a stay-at-home mother is a full-time job in itself and if you haven't seen this video already - you really should.  It's called "Why Moms get nothing done" and stay-at-home-dads - this applies to you too!  It came across my Facebook feed and I just had to share it here.
It explains a lot of things about me.
  • Why we don't bother cleaning 90% of the time.  (Dishes and laundry seem to be an exception and even still there is always a dirty pot or two kicking about!)
  • Why M-Girl doesn't have a dresser currently.  She has a closet/tall cupboard but hasn't figured out how to open the door yet.  Or else she'd not really be emptying everything out but more so trying to dress herself in 10 dresses, 4 onesies, 3 pairs of tights and a hat.  At the same time.
  • Why we don't have a broom but just use a vacuum instead.
    • That and Finnish brooms are all quite short!
  • Why we invite guests over seldomly- so we have the excuse to clean!
Every year - something just hits me and I suddenly feel worthless.
Sure there are perks of being a stay-at-home mother (separate blog post here!) , however - I'm done that now.  I'll always be a mother - but as it stands currently, I'm a student too.
I'm studying Finnish language right now but it just doesn't seem to be "enough" for me.


We don't know where we will live permanently.  It's hard getting a permanent position in Finland for my spouse, who's in the university academics profession and not knowing whether we stay here or not - will I ever use Finnish outside of Finland?
No - probably not. 

Am I wasting my time?
Definitely (sorta) not.  Mostly because A-Man speaks Finnglish (a real mix of Finnish and English!) and regardless of where we live in the future - it'd be ideal to be able to communicate with him in whatever language he feels comfortable with.  
Then again, if we live in Finland for at least another 5 years - it'd be better to be more familiar with the language - even if just to get around and get basic necessities!
And I imagine fairly rude to NOT learn the language of the country you love and live in...

I don't have a degree or a diploma.  I tried studying psychology for a year and a semester and the exams had me stressed out to the extreme.  Mostly because I couldn't comprehend how to study properly and I truly think that university just wasn't for me.  I'll have to write a separate post about my high school educational days...

I continually worked in customer-service related jobs in Canada and was fine with the idea of working my way up to the top eventually.

But now I'm realizing I wasted a lot of time.  Sure, I have "years of experience" and being a stay-at-home mother for 4 years or so also adds a lot to a CV (think: chef, maid, organizer/planner, party planner and caterer, full-time/on-call nurse/restaurant, shopper and secretary in 1!)
Had I just sucked it up and kept trucking - even distance-learning wise - I'd surely have my bachelor's of arts in SOMETHING by now.  Maybe be half-way through my masters degree in SOMETHING too.

I guess my SOMETHING is what I need to figure out and that's the frustrating part.

The tiniest part of me thinks I should take M-Girl out of day-care - and go back to being a stay-at-home mother full time.
I can try harder to clean more, structure a good schedule for my kids, teach them more life skills at home (i.e. cooking, cleaning and when they're older - budgeting and DIY repairs), meet other SAHP and prepare more filling and nutritious meals everyday.
I don't worry that M-Girl wouldn't get the social skills she needs because the playground is down the road, I could try and get her to ski a bit - now that she can walk in her 3 layers (snow suit, wool suit and clothing) and more importantly, her winter boots with minimum falling down...the hardest hurdle is over with!
And we also have a lot of friends that have recently became mothers or are still at home with slightly older children.

But at the same time - I realize I need to study something.  To have some structure or schedule in my own life.

And that's where my head butts the wall hard.

Also, financially speaking, I get better benefits to be a student with three children than to be a stay-at-home mother of one (A-Man would have to go to day-care as Finland doesn't cover stay-at-home allowances for children over the age of 3). 

A friend of mine, who has her phD in economics advised me to go with what I'm good at.

Well, this was the list I gave her:
  • I can listen/talk (hence the original psychologist idea)
  • I enjoy baking (but have so much more to learn)
  • I love crafts
  • I like teaching (but again lacking the degrees and let's face it - many countries - it's hard to get a teaching position and often they're not paid well.  I don't expect to be a millionaire from teaching!  However, to be able to support my family would be ideal...)
  • Blogging (of course adding more photos and devoting much more time than once a month posts is necessary!)
I suppose one of the ideal jobs for me is where I have flexibility in my scheduling.  I could make up for any (un-expected) lost time in the future, work towards become my own boss and such.
Without doing the Tupperware, Mary-Kay, Avon or any similar door-to-door approach...If you can do it - great!  It's not for me.  I've tried it before!
Perhaps full-time blogging is the way to go?!
Reviewing items companies ship to me?  Then again - what if I get sued because someone didn't like my review?  I'm not "mean" brutally honest...I'm just honest as nicely as possible...
I would definitely be interested - leave a comment below! 

How did you figure out what your SOMETHING was?

PS My text is all messed up on my end - so I had to increase the text to "large" so it showed up normally in the preview...hope it's not too hard on your eyes!

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