Friday, 27 November 2015


I forgot I wrote this - as usual.

"3 days ago..."
It's 1am and I'm typing this on a cracked iPhone 4S screen.
So cracked that it looks like I stuck it in a Fast and Furious car crash scene (pick one) and it now has a few constellation patterns of its own. I can't swipe the darn thing so much or else itty little pieces of glass gets in my skin.
Seeing as my hands are drier than sand- and cracking themselves up-not a pretty sight. And of course-the kids can't use it.

Try not to laugh when I say, when I watch a movie- I really get into it. When alone or with just Hubster- I'll make sarcastic comments under my breath, curse a storm, roll my eyes and so on.
Then the other side of me gets too into the movie and I cry a lot. I cry at the memories characters had about each other, I always cry when an animal or elderly person dies...sweet sayings and in general? I'm a hot mess wen it comes to chick flicks.

I scrolled through Netflix and couldn't find anything I wanted to watch.
Last night I saw Mockingjay Part 1 finally (my own copy) and am excited to see part 2 because I wasn't too keen on the first.
Tomorrow the Hubster is back and then we can continue watching our shows together. (Currently on Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt-yeah I can't believe he's watching it either!) Out of common courtesy, I don't watch episodes while he's away and vice versa because then there's so much to catch up on.

So I tried to watch "The Best of Me"- a movie based on a Nicholas Sparks novel-which I haven't read yet.
I'm typically pro "book over movie" but seeing as I don't have the book and don't recall reading it- I went with the movie first.
I needed something sappy and sad to watch and my goal was to let out a wave of tears that could go on as long as possible.

I needed a good cry.

My husband doesn't get this at all. Every now and again, when I am overwhelmed to the max- I need to cry it all out. I don't mean "sob, sob blow my nose-done!"
I mean sob like I'm at a funeral and my neighbours are wondering wtf is going on in that chick's apartment!
I didn't want to cover it up with ice cream or chips (I refused to buy some today!).
I wanted to let out all my stress and awful days with the kids out.
One big sob fest for this mama.

But it didn't happen. I teared up a little here and there. My sob fest turned into deep annoyance with Nicholas Sparks and the producers of the movie because I didn't like how it ended.
I actually love when the happily ever occurs in a movie! As long as it's not mega cheesy.
But it didn't happen to my satisfaction and I still had this dam waiting to burst.

So I cruised through Netflix again -to see if there was something non-commital available.
I saw "Grey's Anatomy" and I recall watching it religiously with a friend every week while we knitted in Canada and I remembered sobbing like a crazy lady at that episode where Denny dies.
Yeah - that one where Izzie is in a pink dress with beautiful waves in her up-do like Rapunzel.
Season 3 minus an episode - aka season 2 finale...aka season where that Denny guy dies.
I never did continue the series - life just got busy!

Well, guess what the heck happened instead?
I curled up and watched it and was a sobbing mess when Derek and Meredith (and side chick Addison) went to see the vet to put their dog to sleep.
That's when I was an emotional mess.  I sobbed, I cried and the music did me in and I was lying on the sofa with Milo freaking out and having flashbacks of when I had to get Blue put to sleep.
Not a pretty picture.

But did Milo judge me?
Nope.  He totally didn't give a rat's bum what I was doing.
Which is kind of better than the sappy eyed look and the paw on my shoulder I would've gotten if Blue was still alive to witness my sob-fest.  Then the forced "pet me, love me" head thrusts into my palm...oh I miss him.

Personally, I was just thrilled to let it ALL out!  And without Hubster around to freak and ask what he did wrong or what was I watching/reading on Facebook/online to get me to cry "that much".

I genuinely don't remember the point of this post - I was half asleep when I started it and funny enough, half asleep while I finish this!
Other than to express how disappointed I was in the ending of "Best of Me" and how I didn't shed a single tear over Denny dying - but I recall sobbing like there was no end in sight with my friend K in Canada...that was well over 7 years ago though... STILL - I started this post and may as well post it right?


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