Let's Be Honest: Things We Say Outloud at Home

Instead of giving a play-by-play of what a day with an autistic child in our home is like - I figured I'd do it a bit differently.  Here are things we say/yell on a regular basis to our kids:

• Don't do that!  Leave it alone!  No! (And every other variation...)
• Keep it in your pants!  Put your penis away!  Put it back in the diaper!
• Did you pee on the floor?
• Don't step/stomp in your poop!
• Could you stop pooping for a day - PLEASE?!
• Let's go this way...
• You have to stop kissing your friends at day-care...that's why they separated you two.
• You're getting a shower - you're not dying.
• Will you just PLEASE co-operate?
• When does day-care start again?  
• Is it Monday yet?!
• Why are you awake?
• Go to sleep.
• Shut the lights off!
• Put it back.
• Stop eating dog food! (Only seemed to happen when my kids are teething thankfully.)
• Stop emptying the dog water bowl!
• Stop putting stuff in the dog water bowl...
• Stay still!
• The stove is HOT!  Don't touch please!
• Don't lick the wok.
• Did you put this in the food you're mixing?! (It was dish soap and A-Man did say "Yes.  Mix-it, mix it."
• Leave Daddy's bum/privates alone!
• Stop headbutting people in the privates...
• Stop groping the ladies!/men!
• No, we don't touch people we don't know...
• Keep your hands to yourself...
• Don't bite me!/him!/her!
• Stop hitting!
• Stop jumping!
• Are you nuts?! (usually refers to some crazy parkour-like technique that looks like the child will break every bone in their body and they don't...)
• Don't eat their food - please eat your own...
• Aww - you hit your head?  Let's hug.  Now let's talk about why racing under the tables was a bad idea...and the cause of your bumped head.
• Hurry - the bus is coming!
• Stop eating snow.
• I hope that's not yellow snow.
• Do you need to potty?/pee?/poop?
• Are you sure?
• (Various swear words.)
• Santa's always watching...
• Want to meet the Tooth Fairy?  Fall on your face again and it just might happen...
• Yes unfortunately we have to:
• Shower you.
• Clean your ears.
• Cut your nails.
• And your toenails too.
• Cut your hair.
• Put clothing on you.
• Put outdoor clothing on you.
• Clean and temporarily ignore your every single demand for us to see what you're doing.
• I can't wait until you have kids some day... 

I'm sure this list is fairly short... and yes, it's mostly true. :)
BIMU