Birthday Cake!

Let's admit it - with all those billions of ideas on Pinterest, saved ideas and recipes from Facebook - there are several choices for a birthday cake!

Well, this year was no different.

We decided to host a small birthday party of the A-Man and V-Man's closest friends and it was more or less (unexpectedly) dinosaur themed.

Let me first point out a few things when it comes to me hosting a birthday party:

1. I am lazy AF.  I don't really decorate - mostly because it's too late and I forgot.
2. I am on a budget.
3. My home is a single bedroom flat - hence I only invited 4-5 kids.
4. I keep it to 2 hours.  One hour for playing and hanging out, another hour for eating and gossiping with the other parents.
5. I put the most effort into the food.  Mostly so I can Instagram it later on and inspire other lazy AF parents like me. :) I also keep it simple!

So!  The cake request from A-Man was originally some super hero thing - that was last year.  Then as it got closer and his interests changed as well - he started leaning toward dinosaurs!

Well, I didn't have to search far for ideas - I am happy to say I didn't even go to Pinterest yet!  I planned something simple like a round cake, frosting or fondant on top and stick some dinosaur toys on top.

EASY RIGHT?!

Then I told the boyfriend (we will discuss this later) about my cake idea - and he got really excited (as most guys do about dinosaurs and big monsters that go ROAR!) and suggested boldly, "You know the cake needs a volcano right?"

WELL YES IT DOES!

So I got really excited...I mean - the little kid that cannot sleep before Christmas morning excited.

THAT is when I went to Pinterest.  And discovered some people made a cake with a volcano and they poured some liquid jello (before chilling it - that liquid stuff) and popped some dry ice in there and POW! Erupting and smokey effect volcano on a cake - easy!

So I planned a chocolate cake, green butter cream frosting, crushed Oreo cookies for dirt, Rice Krispies volcano, red Jello and the dry ice...The boyfriend was not able to attend the party this year - however, he contributed by picking up a bag of mini dinosaur toys - which came with some greenery, a fake stone and a plastic log too!

That damn dried ice doesn't exist in Finland.  Apparently I have to order it as if I am having a raving house party!

I just wanted a tiny piece.  That's it.

Well - seeing as that was a no go - I decided to just make red Jello (including refrigerating it) and pouring that into the volcano.

Here is my step by step tutorial!

Dinosaur Birthday Cake - With a Volcano!

What you need:

• A cake - pick your flavour or boxed cake mix. I threw one together from the top of my head. I baked it the night before...or the morning of at 2am with a glass of wine with a girlfriend - depends how you look at it!
• Buttercream frosting - if you end up with extra - save it or slap it on cupcakes (which I did).
• Crushed cookie crumbs - I used Oreo because it closely resembles dirt/volcanic rocks.
• Dinosaur toys - we honestly found that bag of toys at the second-hand store and disinfected them well! (We also don't have a dollar store here in Finland - so I got lucky and found something on the cheap!)
• **Rice Krispy Square mix (Rice Krispy cereal, marshmallows, butter and chocolate): I added the melted chocolate into the melted mix of marshmallows and butter then the cereal!
• A bowl or cup to form the RK volcano around.
• Red and/or orange ready to eat Jello!
• Birthday candles!

** Make the volcano a few hours beforehand or even the night before so it's really nice and dry and sturdy!  I made mine the morning of the party and popped it in the fridge.  I ended up downsizing it because the bowl was too big and it took up too much space on the cake.  Make sure there's a wide enough opening to fill it with Jello at the top.  If it spills over - it'll look more natural! :)
** Part 2: When making the RK volano - just stick it onto the bowl or cup - I originally tried a plastic cone-shaped sieve and tin foil wrapped around it with cooking spray and it did not stick at all! :)

Once your cake is baked and cooled, frost it, and transfer the cake to your display or serving platter.

Sprinkle some cookie crumbs around, place the volcano on top, fill with Jello and assemble the dinosaurs randomly and evenly around the cake and add your birthday candles!

And there you have it!

Hopefully this helps and I apologize there aren't more step by step pictures!  But you get the idea I hope! :)

Take care and thanks for reading!

BIMU

PS A-Man was really tickled pink about the cake and V-Man was happily helping me out with some things too with it.

Embracing the "Student Life"

I've been a student of some kind for the last 4 years or so of living in Finland.
I was studying Finnish once my boys got into day-care and then from there, decided I would like to get some sort of diploma and applied for a cooking vocational school.

The difference in the past years is living situations.

I've now completed my first week of living alone and this is what I have noticed:

• The kids are adjusting just fine.  As I've mentioned before - I normally went to the gym at night once they went to bed anyway - and they saw me first thing in the morning - so this in theory- for them-, has not changed.
• Loki is totally cool - Milo not so much.  :(
• There is 0 oppourtunity to fight with the PIC - not that we fought much anyway.  I don't like fighting - but now, there is really no space or time for it.
• PIC is socializing more and going out - which gives me a couple more hours with the kids if one protests bed time while he's doing things with friends.
• This is huge because he's quite shy and is always with his nose in a book for work-related purposes.
• I'm budgeting so much better and able to say "No" more to friends that want to go out.
• I'm budgeting my time so much better too.  I book time (mentally) for school, gym, kids and travelling about via bus to get them.  I'm not budgeting enough time for sleep - but I blame Milo and my permanent (?!) crappy sleeping schedule.
• I might not get to everything I want to do WHEN I want to - but it's getting done.
• I've gotten rid of crap and will have a table to sell stuff as well early next month.  Still a long way to go - but it's progress for me.
• I'm only buying food that I will eat, aiming for the discounted stuff regularly (within reason because I do not have a freezer!) and within reason.
• I aimed for discounted food regularly anyway (especially meat) - but because I don't have a freezer - I am not buying an excessive amount and I don't eat a lot of meat at home now either!
• I'm eating healthier.  I don't have the pressure of junk food of any kind (exception nachos - which I make healthy with cooked leftover meat, cheese and homemade guacamole for example) and my landlord had left behind some healthy goodies too - which was motivating.
• My kids hate anything healthy it seems and PIC's Crohn's doesn't help or motivate them to eat better either.  So I try to do my best with the kids and hide stuff regularly into food - but for myself - I'm happy that I can eat vegetarian occasionally and with whatever spices and ingredients I like without the kids nagging my ear off!
• I'm not eating as much - as in, I am not porking out on the regular. At night time I typically just have a sandwich, some yoghurt and a lot of water.
• I feel healthier, my pants are getting looser slowly and I have a bit more energy than before - for the most part.
• I do stuff my face at school.  Yep - free lunch until the end of the month - and I find I'm not as hungry at night time or the following morning because I am putting my heavier meal mid-day instead of late evening like before.
• Less food is being wasted at PIC's home.  This is because I typically don't eat there with them.  I'm present and helping when wanted or needed.  But I only eat the leftovers or extras.  This has resulted to less food needing to be prepared and therefor, less waste.  
• I'm learning that I had been overeating way too much before - and now that I don't factor myself in with his meal planning - he's saving a bunch of money from food not going to waste due to the kids.
  Think of me as a little portable compost machine.  HA HA.
• I'M BLOGGING MORE!  I know - it's crazy.  I'm actually at school writing this all out or in the morning while I wait impatiently for A-Man to get dressed for daycare!
• AND! I tested out my phone and I can vlog again while looking amazingly dorky with earphones plugged in!  So I will try to get back into that ASAP.
• I'm exercising more without realizing it.  This is because I take the dogs with me at night time - and bring them back in the morning - so there is about 15-minutes walk between our flats.  Yes, I can bike to and from and it's 5-minutes one way.  But because I value my life - I'm not cycling and bringing the dogs at the same time.  :P
• On the weekend there's a lot of extra walking too because I can do laundry then and brought the V-Man to come chill while we did laundry together (30-minutes/cycle).

For those thinking, "Oh you must get a ton of sleep now - all those years of broken sleep - you must finally be getting what you need now!"

Big fat NOPE.

Milo is stressed out - despite me doing everything in my power to make him comfortable.  My clothes are everywhere, I got new bones for him and Loki and while it is a small flat- there is space for them to sleep comfortably.
With that said, every morning - I have to bring the dogs back to PIC's place because Milo has separation anxiety when it comes to me leaving the new flat.  I can't let him bark all day (he would - trust me) - and the walls are quite thin and hearing him howl and bark would definitely drive my neighbours nuts I am sure.

And because those walls are thin - Milo hears everything.  If anyone is leaving their flat or entering - he goes wild.
I've tried to calm him down, I've told him to come to bed with me and so on - but the fact that my life is "clearly in danger" - he has to tell everyone to get away from my door and that he lives there.  :/
Unfortunately, I am moving again in August - so this is another issue for Milo and making it all the more stressful for everyone.

So I'm sleeping about 5 hours or less due to this and because I don't drink coffee - it's really taking a toll on me mentally.

And my body is programmed after 3 kids - to wake up between 2-4am for a feeding anyway...even though I haven't nursed M-Girl since she was 11-months old (she's now 3 years old).

Thankfully, I have a super long weekend coming up and then two more days of class before summer holiday.

Zzzz...
BIMU

The Other Kids

It is so easy to get wrapped up in the lives of the special needs kiddos in our life that we often forget that the others need just as much attention usually.

This was confirmed for me when I was scrolling through the Whisper app and read a whisper about a young person who was frustrated her special needs sibling got more attention than her (she being neurotypical).

This is how our conversation went (including any typos):
And written with her permission anonymously!

Her whisper was:

"I have a brother with special needs and i hate him! Why?
Because when i was in 5th grade my parents found out, and i ceased to exist, i pretty much became a maid to my family.  I feel so worthless :( "

In which, I responded with:

"I'm so sorry.  I'm a mom of 3 kids, 2/3 have special needs and I try so hard to spend time with each kid."

Shortly after, I received a chat message from her and her profile showed that she was 15-17 years old.

"Your doing good then.   MY parents only focus on him and forget me and my other brother and that's where they went wrong! As long as you try that is what matters.  It's when you stop trying, that is when there will be problems!"

"Thank you. I try!"

"Well good luck and more importantly love a lot.  For kids that can go a long way.  I just wish my parents knew that and if I can help other parents than it's worth it.  Have fun!:) "

"Thank you so much for sharing your whisper."

"Your welcome.  And let's just say I needed to let it out and this was the place I could think of."

"I agree.  My oldest is nonverbal autistic and my second kid has visual learning/SLI."

"My brother is ADD, ADHA, has Bipolar disorder, some form of Autism and a few other disorders.  I can't remember so life at home can be quite difficult.  I love him but at the same time I resent the fact that my emotional needs are neglected because of him.  So I try my best to take care of my youngest brother's needs.  And it's not always easy."

"Of course not! Wow."

We exchanged some more small pleasantries and she gave me permission to post this in verbatim on this blog - in a way of sharing her story - in the hopes to assist other parents who my often get tied up in their kids' therapies, emotional roller coasters and different upbringings.

I know I'm not perfect and I know it's not easy raising a kid that can't speak, won't use the toilet and the list goes on...

But what I do try to do is spend time with each kid throughout the week and evenly on the weekends to ensure that they don't hate my guts when they're older.
I try my hardest to treat the V-Man as equally as the others - especially when it comes to teaching him patience, kindness, manners and basic common sense.

I hope this post helps other parents realize that while their kids (regardless of age) may act like everything is okay - perhaps a lesson in maturity that's too early for them - they still need you. Whether they act like it or not.

And dear "other kids in the family" - you are loved.  You are strong and you are brave.
You're amazing.

BIMU

A Side of Autism: Future Grandkids

We have these great friends that come over weekly for dinner - a little less frequently now because of work schedules - but anyway, they give us adults the chance to act like adults (with kids) and we are able to chat away and the usual topic always involves what we did with the kids.

Naturally, it's hard to NOT talk about the kids when they're in the same room or bouncing off the sofa nearby!

A couple weeks ago, my friend C asked me,

"Do you ever think of the V-Man having kids?"

I was thankfully sitting down and whispered that I do think about it all the time.  (Not ALL the time - but every now and again!)
This somewhat surprised my friend and I explained:

As a mother of a special needs kid - with no way of knowing his future developments or skills, I constantly stress about what will happen when me and the PIC (partner in crime) are gone.

• Who will take care of the V-Man?
• Is it fair to assume or ask his siblings to step up to the plate?
• Will they?
• What about THEIR own family?
• What about our younger siblings? 
• It's not fair for me to ask my half sisters to help their nephew - they they may never meet (depending where we all live) and if they're still in the USA - then no.
  Nothing against the USA - but the medical bills are crazy expensive and the horror stories I hear about disabled people getting hurt by law enforcement that aren't properly trained to recognize (or refuse to) disabilities scares me.
• Will we live in a country that cares about people with special needs?
• Will he have a job?
• Will he be able to afford a basic but comfortable lifestyle with assistance?
• Will he be independent enough?
• Will he ever fall in love?

(By this point - I'm in tears.  Like "Holy sh*t I can't stop crying and now - the f*cking snot is running out of my nose like there's a zombie apocalypse to escape from in my sinuses...)

I worry that V-Man will be left behind - alone, scared, unable to speak.

I worry that he'll never know what it's like to fall in love with someone.  I do not care if it's a man or a woman.

I worry that maybe he'll never find someone that truly loves him for WHO he is - AS he is.  When you "forget" he has autism and doesn't speak or act like the younger two - he's an amazing kid.  Of course, he's an awesome kid for having autism - but let's be honest, autism isn't exactly my favourite thing 24/7 - especially PRE-diagnosis...and when it comes to big things like doctor appointments or travelling/moving...

(I'm not saying I "HATE" autism - I don't.  I have a love/dislike relationship with it and when the going gets tough with him and us - especially when he was younger - it was more of an extremely dislike - borderline 'hate' session for the day.)

I worry this potential partner or spouse will abuse him - whether it's physical, emotional or straight up neglect.  He deserves the best - and I want him to be with someone that'll care about him as much as we do.

I'm curious (but I don't worry about this much) if he will ever be able to experience a safe, sexual relationship with someone.  

(Let's be realistic for a second here on why I'm saying that.  I'm not trying to come off as perverted in saying I think about my kids' future - way down the road when they're consenting adults - safe sex lives.  Most people in the world - get to experience that (hopefully positively and with proper consent and safely) - and I don't think that someone with special needs should be excluded from that list unless it was a danger to their health or someone else.  And if the original question is about him having kids - there's one main typical way to make/have them...So....time to get the elephant out of the room!)

I'm realistic in thinking that I will most likely NOT have any grandchildren to help raise from the V-Man.  Maybe all 3 kids will torture us and not have any kids at all.  (Which would really suck because PIC and I already have plans on spoiling the grand kids to pay them back for their trouble-making ways as they grow up! :P )

But I would absolutely love and cherish any of the V-Man's pets if he has one and is responsible enough to take care of one.

A grand-fish baby or a grand-puppy/kitty - I'm so there.

I don't do worms - nasty phobia - sorry.  But anything else is alright.

I worry all the time about the V-Man the most because he's the most vulnerable and yet, the strongest of my three.

Mentally, he must be exhausted trying to find some control in his physical movements and speech attempts - never mind trying to understand us and figure out how to do something as simple as playing.

(His current definition of playing with M-Girl is shutting her in the bathroom and sometimes in the dark if he's feeling giddy.)

As a parent, it's extremely frustrating to know that I have no way of predicting the V-Man's future.

With a neuro-typical kid - you can guide them and help them out with making choices about clothes, friends to hang out with (or avoid), colleges to apply to and so on.

You know that unless there's extreme circumstances - your kid most likely won't relapse and suddenly become mute or unable to use a toilet or unable to communicate at all.

I worry about ALL of these things and more - and he's only 1/3 kids!

But I'm just trying to teach him to be the best he can be, pushing his limits occasionally and to be a nice person.

I know if I worry constantly (what parent doesn't?!) - I'll miss seeing him grow up.

I'll try and make a video about this - but most likely I'll be a snotty tear-soaked mess mid-way.

But these - are some of the very sad and terrifying realities of worries that a special needs parent go through on an everyday basis...

And it could always be worse given different situations.

Thanks for reading and thanks to C for asking me the bold question.
BIMU

My Running Diaries

I'm the first to tell you, that a week or two ago - never mind even longer! - I would never dream that running could be fun.

This is coming from a nearly 31-year old woman - a mother of 3 - that originally defined running as:

"When I'm late - I run for the bus.  When I'm chasing kids in the grocery store and outside on our way to the bus - I'm running then.  That's it."

I decided that running on a treadmill at the gym was flipping boring.
And I would run by a window and people watch and there's only so many times I can watch a bus go by, cars and people - just boring.

So I decided today after a trip to the cottage with friends, that I would start running.

And I'm not doing it solo.

I have not one but two dogs...Milo is still a bit immature when it comes to running and likes to go at break-neck speeds - especially while trying to drag me in front of cars that he deems as driving too fast...

Loki is 9 and an excellent running partner.

People are always amazed that I live near woods and good running trails and have two dogs and don't run.

Well, time to change that.

And Loki and I aren't doing it solo.

That's right.  I dragged a kid with me.
Today, January 15th, 2017 - I ended up running/walking with both V and A-Man.
A-Man was tired and hadn't napped but played a good sport and did more walking than running.
V-Man absolutely loved it and kept up.

He's not wearing a safety harness anymore - so it was a real eye-opening experience running with the V-Man.

Here's what I learned during our first run - that consisted of 30 minutes:

1. V-Man absolutely loves running.
2. He has grown a lot in the past two years, where I've tried to go jogging (before M-Girl was born) with him and Loki before and it was a Hellish nightmare.  
1. V-Man would stop randomly and trip me, wouldn't run unless he had a stick or rock in his hands...not enjoy whatever route I took etc.  In other words, running was a real pain in the neck.
3. He understands a lot more than I thought when it came to safety.
1. A car was turning in and cutting us off and I simply had to tell him to "Wait - stop.  Car coming" and he immediately stopped running and turned to face me while we waited for the car to turn in.
4. I trust him more.  Maybe because he's 7 and I'm treating him like one (exception of potty-training - which he's still refusing)  but it's made a difference.

It was a really positive and energetic experience I have to say - and I'm looking forward to doing it solo (so I can listen to music and clear my head and go faster) and also with just Loki and V-Man because he could really keep up for a 7-year old child and there was very minimal fuss when it came time to coming home.

As for Loki?

He was pretty confused about me running.  Pretty sad when the dog realizes something is up because I usually don't run at all when with the dogs, unless I have plans and need to bring the dogs home faster.

But he's currently curled up on the sofa with the A-Man dozing off.

My goal with this running business is to just go running every day - minimum 30 minutes total and increase it every week if possible.

It'll be especially useful when going to the gym isn't possible.

I felt super energetic afterward (still do!) and like my head is quite clear even though I was rushing with the boys to make sure they stuck nearby.

Until next time!
BIMU

Trending: BuJo

Yeah I had no idea what a BuJo was until today.
BuJo is short for "Bullet Journal".

Tonight I went to have dinner at my friend's place and I noticed the pile of post-its alongside her fridge had dropped from a colourful neon rainbow down to 2. 
2 Post-its and a notebook nearby.  I didn't inquire about it mostly because my head was starting to throb thanks to our kids having a blast (aka screaming and running and banging everything loud together possible).

So I looked it up after she asked me if I heard of "a bullet journal".

The first thing my friend did was show me hers - I didn't read it in detail as I think of a journal as a very personal object.  That and it was probably written in Finnish.
Anyway, the next thing is that she warned me, "Dominique - don't look it up on Pinterest."

So, naturally,  I had to look it up on Pinterest!
Then I started saving/pinning and saving/pinning and saving/pinning some more ideas onto my own board for Bullet Journalling.

So, it was easy for me to find a notebook that was 99.99% blank.
The only thing I'm using from the original BJ (oh that's why they call it "BuJo"...ha!) is the INDEX and the FUTURE LOG.
I have no intention of using this journal as an agenda/daily planner because I have one.  I buy one by Sandra Boyton every year and love it.
I don't trust myself to sync stuff to my phone and never mind the fact that my ability to make sure the dates and times are correct have failed miserably on multiple accounts!

I'm an obsessed "list-maker" person.
I'm also one of those people that can't shut their brains off.  I'm constantly thinking of something - whether it be typical "Mom-life" related things or it's completely random and useless/stupid junk - my brain just doesn't shut off.
Every night, I find myself usually falling asleep with the lights on and mid (texting) conversation with a friend and my mind going 100 km/miles (your choice) a minute.  It's why I've been trying to go to the gym at night when the kids are asleep - it exhausts me more and in the gym - I am focused.
During the day time - I'm usually in class but at the same time, if it's slow enough - I am able to get a lot of thinking and planning done.

So this journal method of having an index and my lists of random things - will help me focus on 1 thing at a time - even if temporarily.
I won't do my grocery lists or bills to pay - every day things in the book - no.

I also won't be writing long sad crappy posts about feeling super bad etc.  I've found that I tend to buy a new journal because I love stationary and a new pen to go with it - and after a couple posts - I never go back to it.
I've found myself angry and hurt all over again - and maintaining a journal didn't continue to be fun once I purchased a new notebook and pen.

Some ideas of what I have in my book (I'll be sure to do a future post once the pages look not so bare!):

• Birthdays of my nearest and dearest!
• My Happy List
• I want to learn...
• Self-Care (Mind Body Soul)
• A-Z About Me (This will be funny to see how it changes every year or every time I create a new journal)
• 2016 Memories
• 2017 New Year Resolutions
• 2017 New Year Resolution Recipes! (Then I can blog about them here!)
• Books read in 2017
• My bucket list
• Daily/weekly/monthly
• Positive shit the kids did
• OMFG Shit the kids did
• Movies watched in 2017
• Craft Projects in 2017
• Quotes
• Becoming the BEST version of myself

I'm still working on this list to fill in my journal.  

However, I'm thrilled with the start of it.

The way this Bu Jo is working for me - reminds me quickly of those "mindfulness books/journals" I've seen in the magazine section of the grocery stores.

The kind of notebooks where everything is printed out for you and you just need to fill in the blanks or jot down your ideas.

What I like about this - is that it's tailored to what I want, how I want it and I will try my hardest to not spaz out over every tiny screw up as I scribble in it.  Especially since I prefer writing in pen!

I also love that these topics that I've listed - are things that I am truly interested in writing about and I can always add to something later on - as long as I've marked it for myself in the index.

I am trying to make this journal as positive as possible - because being a busy mom of 3 and a student - life can get hectic.  I do crash and burn occasionally and I'm hoping that this will help to prevent it.

I love that there isn't (as of yet) an app for Bullet Journalling because with pen and paper - I have to focus and it gives my eyes a break.  It gives me a chance to be creative - although, I assure you - my pages won't be nearly as fancy-pants as some of the amazing artwork I'm seeing on Pinterest!

I just simply don't have the time to make my pages super fancy! :D

I applaud those that are creative and those that carry a journal!

Let me know if you jump on the BuJo Junkies train! ;)
BIMU

Ciao Birthday Parties - An Update!

So, it's been ages - sorry and all that jazz.

I've been swamped with my work practice (done that in October) and now back in school and slightly bored out of my mind!

Bear in mind I was cooking and prepping food for minimum 1500 people - and now, 100.

So, it's a massive change in pace and I'm back in school and trying to survive studying in Finnish!

Kids are all doing great and are all alive!

V-Man and A-Man recently had birthdays (7 and 5) and while I love throwing a birthday party for the two of them (since their birthdays are 2 weeks apart) - I decided not to this year.
Why?

• Time - I simply didn't have time to book a place, grocery shop for the party and plan.
• Money - Trying to save some as much as possible because we have no idea where we will be in the new year.
• Stuff - While we appreciate gifts from our friends for the kids - because we don't know where we will be - we didn't want to have extra things to pack or unfortunately, have to give away!

So instead of a party this year - we agreed to take the boys on their big day to Toys R Us and let them pick one toy.

Then went out for dinner of their choosing and then ice-cream.

I also baked a cake at home for us to enjoy.

This was most effective and simple.

The boys seem to have a good time and I'll be baking V-Man's birthday cake today!

At first I felt bad for not having a party because for us - it was a great way to see all of our friends in one spot (that wasn't our home) and socialize.

Then I just realized it wasn't worth the stress and time/money to do all of it.

Nothing against our friends!!

We just have been swamped with job applications everywhere, school and so on.  

The stress levels in the household have caused my cycles to go psycho and I'm finding myself having "shark week" every 2-3 weeks instead of once a month like a normal woman!

And I found that having a little less stress to be a good thing! :)  Now if only my body would agree and back off!

I've opted to go to the gym at night now once the kids are asleep - I've been having problems sleeping and found that it helps me to sleep better and clears my head from the entire day.

As opposed to just exercising after school and being mentally exhausted by the time the kids go to bed.

Until next time!  Which should be relatively soon as I have to do a lot of recipe writing for the New Year Resolutions...and I have an autism-related post to write up too!

BIMU

My 1st Spinning Class: A Breakdown

I have no experience with spinning classes other than the one time I went to learn how to spin wool. My aunt had laughed at me thinking I meant spinning at a gym.
Hint: I'm not very good at spinning wool...

Well fast forward 12 years and I finally went to one. A proper gym-related spinning class.
I had originally signed up for a sh'bam class today (something to do with dancing) but due to time constraints- knew I wasn't going to make it on time.
A couple of my girlfriends who go to the same gym as I - we'll call them the "Gym Gurus" (it's our group chat name online)- suggested I sign up for spinning.
I was worried because:

1. I'm not good at riding a bike. Seriously- I suck at it and can't stand and cycle. 
1. I more or less learned how to bike when I was in my late 20's.
2. I'm out of shape in the cardio department. 
3. I don't think spinning is my thing but for the sake of trying- I signed up.

It was a 55-minutes long class.  The only other option in our gym is 45-minutes.

Here's some tips to survive if you're not super fit, not a biking pro and it's your first time too:

I should probably get better sneakers.

• Wear comfortable clothes that'll be caked in sweat, not too tight but not saggy either - you don't want to be making adjustments all the time!
• Bring your water bottle full. Maybe bring 2. My bike had 2 places - I know that for next time (if there is one!).
• Bring a hand towel to dry your face, neck and hands -they're going to sweat. (If you hate under boob sweat- spinning might not be for you.  If you can tolerate it - I envy you.)
• Bring ear plugs - a guy in the front did- I found the music too loud most of the time and had a headache to begin with. Thankfully the instructor saw me plugging my ears at one point and dude's neon ear plugs and dropped the volume.
• Don't go if you have a headache. 
• Comfy sneakers because the pedals have these straps for your feet and I had horrible foot cramps throughout. (See photo).
• Try to get a bike in the back. I was in the middle row but ahead of my friends and ever so jealous. 
• Getting a bike in the back row allows for you to:
•  Hide from the instructor and loud music if you're the type to need a break here and there to drink water or adjust your equipment. 
• Being in the back also allows your wedgie to ride along freely without fear of your sweaty colleagues seeing (and possibly putting bets on how long before) you pick it...thongs included. 
• And of course if you ate something disagreeable and making your gas gods throw a fiesta- that's usually (almost) hide-able from the back of the room (aka fart).  Good luck. 
• Adjust the bike properly to your height and comfort. I found the saddles to be hard as a rock and I found myself waddling after class. Actually I gracefully (as possible) fell off my bike when we were done. Also you need to be able to stand and spin- so get your instructor to give you a hand or your nearest  pre-sweaty neighbour (which was my case). 
• Go at your speed and at your tension.
• You won't fall off the bike.  Unless you fly forward and don't have your feet strapped in properly...so if you're a newbie to cycling (and I'm 30) - have faith and just go with the flow and follow your instructor and you'll be excited at being able to stand and cycle! I know I felt a wee bit giddy at not falling over and standing while cycling and shockingly - didn't bang my girly bits into the tip of the saddle seat! HA!
• Time might go slow and time might fly - try not to stare at the clock too much.
• **

Now here's the thing about the day after - that nobody tells you about in regards to spinning - other than, "You might hurt a bit".

YOU'RE GOING TO HURT A F*CK TON!

My feet are still aching, down-south area - specifically under my bottom feels bruised.  I haven't felt like this since delivering V-Man.  This is probably more to do with the seat being harder than a rock. For me it got to the point that standing was more of a relief than sitting!!

I got home and laid down with the kids - I couldn't sit - so lying down was it for me and I promptly puked.

But of course I didn't want to get it on their beds - so I swallowed that chuck back.

I felt nauseous the rest of the night and was so sure I wouldn't make it to class today - but it seemed to subside and the only issue was sitting.

Thankfully I'm in cooking school - so sitting only exists during lunch, coffee break and theory class - which was horrifically painful.

**You might want to add "pain killers" to the list above.**

A comment from a fan of my Facebook page warned me of "soreness and blisters in places I shouldn't" get them.

Lovely - I read that when I was already on a bus and on my way to the gym.  Mild panic - but my Gym Guru girlfriends were waiting and they had done it before and agreed that yes - "no pain no gain" is adequately suitable for losing my tummy flub and wanting to be more fit.

My friend's spouse does this twice a week.  How?!
I'm debating on going again next Monday (providing no headache or period - because that would be uncomfortable too) and seeing if I really like it.  Like honestly do I like it and will the pain lessen as I go more often.

I'm also considering (heavily) to buy a gel pad bike seat cover and just slap that on - because I really don't think I should feel like I gave birth to the world's biggest baby a day or two after spinning.
Never mind the vomit part - which Hubster started worrying!  Mostly because I have a pretty strong stomach for things, I didn't eat a massive portion of food before hand and I didn't have the tension too hard in my opinion.  But I also wasn't drenched in sweat like others - and I guess I can credit the leg work outs that I do manage to squeeze in...?

So - is spinning for me?  Maybe!  I can't say I hate it - although my first words to the girls were, "NEVER AGAIN" as I gracefully semi-fell off my bike to do cool-down stretches...

I definitely found I had a clear head because I just kept staring at the clock and with the blaring music and cheerful instructor - I couldn't think about anything else.

Is spinning for you?  Maybe!  I would try a shorter time frame than 55-minutes for a first time.  I thought my gym had a 30-minutes spinning class but apparently not.

Here are some "Benefits of Spinning" I found via Google.

Good luck you spinning warrior!
BIMU

A Side of Autism: F-ing Pop

This week is ski holiday in our  area of Finland. Also known as March Break (typically held in February though) or spring break.
We decided to keep all three kids at home as it means we don't have to wake up and run around to three different locations to drop them off and pick them up.
We are also back to trying to save money and pinch pennies here and there.
One of the biggest spendings we have every month is "treating" the kids to lunch on the weekends.
We seriously need to cut back -so I have been trying to time my errands or outings with the kids away from meal times.
The V-Man is determined though. Subway is his thing and it's located in our grocery store of choice. So I gave in this week- he had been relatively well behaved that day and I forgot my water bottle and thought he wouldn't like the orange pop.
Wrong.
He loved it so much I got a refill. Then he refused to let me have any and I worried about a diaper overflow (although he can hold it in for a really long time-usually when in public) and that's where Hell broke loose.
He refused to eat his sandwich, of which there was a third left and didn't want to munch on the little bag of chips either. He just wanted pop.
I was alone with him and tried to remain calm as he began having his meltdown. He screamed and yelled like he was being tossed in the hole on Scandal and by yelling -I mean the whole really big area of Subway was silent (of course there were other customers) and the cash register line ups (of the grocery store) were also silent too. Aside from the beeping of items being scanned- all you heard was my 6-year old slap his face, scream in pain from it and also from the pain of being denied pop.
Then he really got pissed off and tried to flip the table over.
Thankfully those things are pretty heavy- so he couldn't flip it half way...not yet anyway.

What the f*ck am I going to do when he's a teenager? Honestly?!
Never mind the fact that everyone can see and hear him and the strangers are being kind. They're staring but not for long, they're not offering help (which I prefer) and they're pretending like there isn't a large 6-year old boy trying to his his mother with the freaking Subway table.
Thank you strangers! It makes things much more bearable for me when you continue doing your thing-I genuinely appreciate it.
(This also reduces my chances of my own public melt down if I'm left alone to deal with V-Man.)

Sure, I could've gone back to the cash register and gotten him an extremely overpriced juice box that he would finish in 10 seconds.
But then he would win. He would learn that he gets his own way by tossing a fit the size of a tornado. He would learn that he could flip a table and eventually get more pop or juice.
I'm trying to keep my cool and compromise with him. I hid the pop and told him if he had more sandwich- then he could have more pop. But then he started rocking the table at me again and the slapping himself started too and I just slurped that pop and tossed away his 1/3 of a sandwich and the empty cup and we left.
I lectured him like crazy.

"That's not nice. You don't throw the table. Try to be a good boy. No more screaming- it's not nice. You didn't get more pop because your tooth just fell out and it's way too sugary for little kids anyway. If you are more sandwich you could've had a little more pop."

I'm the whisper firmly and logically mother in the grocery store- bracing myself for another meltdown. I'm occasionally the talk out loud to myself like I would inside my head mother - which means I'm using the "OMG DUH!! Give me a break!" tone as well.
I realize he probably didn't comprehend most of the longer sentences. But I had to get it out.
I had an instant headache and dreaded what grocery shopping would bring but he chilled out once we got into that rhythm and started dragging the shopping basket on wheels-he calmed down.
Maybe the line up beforehand was too much for him or maybe the sensation of pop in his mouth was overwhelming and exciting and he simply wanted to feel more of it.

I texted the Hubster about the stress of it all and that when I got home, I would be having a drink.
It wasn't even 4pm-never mind 5.
(Of course it's always 5 o'clock somewhere...)
So I got home, rushed past the V-Man to unpack groceries and avoid him for a bit.
I just needed space and knowing that two more kids would be climbing all over me once we walked inside- I definitely needed a drink.

I can highly recommend Bailey's mixed in to your hot chocolate, topped with marshmallows, whipped cream and sprinkles.
I don't own a shot glass- so I just slowly counted to 5 -both to calm my nerves and to signal when I should probably stop pouring Bailey's into my mug.
I don't do this often- I promise you. But it was either a cup of spiked hot chocolate while muttering my stresses away in an annoyed but quieter voice-or screaming my head off.

I guess the point of all this is to share that everyone has crappy days. From both sides of the fence- the kid side and the parent side. 

In retrospect, the V-Man had to wait in line (which he despises) and was robbed the opportunity to have more fizzy pop. 

I have to remind myself that he's entitled to want more of something and express anger (still-I can't justify giving in every time!) and hope to God he doesn't kill me with a table in public. 

I know a teeny part of me wanted to make him scared and I could've easily threatened to flip the table back in his direction. 

But what does it accomplish? People calling social services because they can't necessarily see autism and assume I'm the one trying to hurt him? Not saying that's his intent when he slams tables because it isn't. It's how he truly expresses rage - other than slapping himself. 

Sometimes the toughest part of being a parent is the ability to just let it go. Don't hold a grudge. Don't lose your marbles or your sh*t - both publicly and in private. Don't give in but also don't put up too big of a fight hat ends up pushing them away. 

It's a really freaking tough job- but someone has to do it.

And you can. 

BIMU