Thursday, 18 December 2014

Let's Be Honest: Parenting

A mini series I'll do in my blog regarding various topics, in which I will be 100% honest and not sugar-coat anything (I rarely do but try to be as "nice as possible").
I'll do a separate one regarding raising an autistic child - because really - that's a whole other league on its own!
  • Pregnancy and pushing a kid out the hoo-ha is another whole other league of its own.  Same with C-Sections (not that I've had one - but from what I've heard)!
  • I love my kids and don't always tell them this everyday.  But I hope the happier moments show them that although they drive me up the flipping wall on some days - I do love them to bits and pieces.
  • My home is never clean.  It wasn't before I had children and now - it's just disturbing.
    • There are tampons all over my kitchen floor...not used ones - just again, my kids get into everything.
    • I don't remember the last time our place was spotless with everything in place.  It could be when my husband and I were dating and living separately.  Almost 9 years ago.  Yep.
    • I can't find the little Tupperware salad dressing container because my kids got in the drawers and toss out my CLEAN pots, pans and utensils everyday.  It's some sick game they have in common.  
      • *Update:  It was found four days later.
    • M-Girl can walk (10 months old) and pull stuff down...including the clean laundry hanging on the drying racks.  Then she tries to wrap herself up in them.  She'll probably be a fashion designer or at least craftier than me when she gets older.
    • V-Man has discovered the knife block - which doesn't bother me as much it should.  The only problem is when he leaves the knives on the counter instead of putting them back.
    • Regularly when I'm trying to blog or write an e-mail - I hear A-Man stirring whatever I forgot on the stove for a couple minutes. 
  • I have mastered the ninja/yoga/sneak-away technique after breast-feeding a baby and needing to escape the bed without making a sound.
  • "Night Life" for me is going knitting and maybe for a drink with a friend (when V-Man is at overnight care)  - ALONE.  I'm home by 9-10pm.
  • Date nights are few and far between...
    • We collect DVDs because we can watch them at home and pause when a kid wakes up and use subtitles and minimum volume.  Just finished season 3 of Breaking Bad!
  • When 1 kid wakes up - usually all the others do too.  Unfortunately.
  • None of the kids I baby-sat (not that I baby-sat a lot as a teenager) have prepared me for my own children.  
  • Having 3 kids also means always having an excuse to leave a party or event early.
  • I've tried to catch a full bladder of pee once from the (at the time) 4-year old V-Man.  Yeah - tried to catch as in ...WITH MY BARE HANDS.
  • I take my kids out in public so I don't disturb the neighbours with my kids screaming and so I won't scream back.
  • Except for purple - I have seen every colour and shade of poop and diarrhea possible.
  • V-Man took a few coins and tried to shove them into the Xbox One.  
    • I might kill my husband for leaving it out again, and getting mad at V-Man for climbing onto it.  I probably won't tell him about the "piggy bank" incident either.
  • We're on our 2nd copy of Shrek, Shrek 2, Cars and Madagascar /Madagascar 2.
  • I've had a good chunk of melt-downs since having kids that seem to worsen with pregnancy hormones or period hormones.
  • It's really hard to keep a straight face when A-Man says stuff that means something else - but sound like swear words or totally different words.  I.e. : "Hei hei poop." (Good bye moon).
  • It's kind of a relief having all the kids sick at once or one after another (i.e. chicken pox) - then it's done and over with.
    • It's also true that I'm the last one to get sick and my body lets me crash for 1 day tops - whereas everyone else gets a few days to a week off.  I clearly need to fake it.
  • I also have had my fair share of stares and lecturing grannies on the bus and in the shops and honestly - I want to punch about 90% of them in the face.  I wouldn't criticize someone to their face and child's about how to raise them - why do it to a complete stranger?!
  • I'm excited for when they're a bit more independent - diaper-free, can speak clearly and help out/learn how to do things independently.  Like cooking, baking and doing more intensive crafts or hobbies.
  • I'm also terrified of the teenager phase.  Absolutely dreading it.  The dating, the hormones, the broken hearts, the bullying, the attitude, the sneaking out, the rejecting of EVERYTHING...
  • I look forward to sleep-overs, birthday parties (still hope the boys will enjoy having a joint party for the rest of their lives...), school trips and stuff like that.  Yep - Mama-Nerd - right here.
    • Yep - even boyfriends and girlfriends over for dinner.  And watching SH grill them all.
  • The idea of travelling with my kids sounds great in about 5-10 years.
  • I'm pretty sure we've said "No" in various forms and languages at least 4 million times - among the three kids.  Half of that alone is for V-Man alone.
  • I don't know what a weekend is anymore.
  • The best part of the day has become bed time. 
  • I've been crapped on, peed on, puked on and had boogers displayed to me with pride and wiped onto MY shirt.  
    • This just doesn't happen with cats or dogs.
  • Bonus of holidays?  Not having to get up AS early...
    • We're terrible at keeping a strict schedule with the kids.
I'm sure I'll update this every now and again.

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