Sunday, 28 September 2014

My First Kiss

My first kiss was when I was four-years old in pre-school.  It wasn't overly exciting and I ended up getting caught by the teachers because one was keeping an eye on me and Stephen behind the "devil's (double-sided) mirror".
My husband blames me for our 2-year old A-Man and all of lady-friends at day-care...ah well.

Today I had one of my favourite kisses of all.
My V-Man is a non-verbal autistic (and recently diagnosed "mentally challenged/retarded" - another post for another time) and while all my friends and complete strangers in passing have children chatting the parents' heads off asking, "Why?  Well, I need to pee.  I want this...I want that..."
I've never experienced that with V-Man.
The fact that he doesn't verbally express himself is a double-edged sword.  It's a wonderful thing because then I don't have to answer why we don't have a car, why is the sky blue, why does that lady over there stink quite a know - the easy, the hard and the embarrassing questions.
Then again, I don't get to hear things like, "Thank you, Mommy, I hurt here...I want to do this today...I love you."
I used to get really hung up on the "I love you" bit. 
Only recently has he started expressing interest in going to McDonald's or Hesburger downtown.  He shows this by dragging me there, and assuming his boulder position of not moving until he sees me order his chicken nuggets, fries and apple juice.

Growing up - we didn't say it to each other very often in my family and it's probably because my mom's Asian.  And I'm not knocking Asians!!  It's true!
It's just assumed and rarely said - check out this video showing reactions from Asian parents hearing "I love you" from their grown children.

I'm married to another Canadian who isn't Asian - and we try to make a point of saying we love the kids before they go to bed and before they head out the door to daycare. 

Today, I was having some cuddly time with V-Man while M-Girl and A-Man were playing quietly together.  The SH was taking the dogs out for a quick walk.
So we were lying in bed together - one of his favourite things to do is cuddle with blankets - and I told him that I loved him a couple times.
He stared at me.
Alright - progress.
So then I asked him, "Do you love me?"
And he smiled.

My heart melted.

Then I gave him a kiss and he tried to push me away at first...and then he let me kiss him the second time.
Then he turned to me and he leaned forward and pressed his lips on mine.

He'll be five in a couple months and the doctors say they aren't sure what "age development" he's currently at.
I also realize this could be a total fluke or a total one-off and I won't get another kiss from him for maybe another five years...or maybe ever again...but I'm trying to be slightly more on the optimistic side.
But it's just nice to have gotten that tiny bit of confirmation that yes, he does love me.

PS While I am bawling my head off about this - he began to strip in the bathroom and tossed his diaper at my feet...and his turd rolled out onto my foot.  He was oblivious to the turdlet on my toes...
Just another day with the V-Man.

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