Good-Bye Grease!

Tonight my husband (SH: super hubby) and I celebrated 8 years of wedded bliss.

I'm just kidding - that was a few days ago and we more or less clink wine glasses and congratulate each other on surviving another year without killing each other or pulling our hair out.

We went to see "Kingsman: A Secret Service" - since a friend offered to babysit and V-Man was at overnight care - and I highly recommend it!  Bit weird but at the same time - it was funny and I went to see it without having seen a trailer or knowing what the movie was about.

Anyways, an hour prior to the movie starting - we wanted to go for dinner and ended up at the fine dining level of McDonald's...every restaurant was packed or had a long wait time for food - so McDonald's it was.
It was after that Chicken Bacon Onion meal (I skipped the fries) that I decided I need to pretend like it's January 1st again and NOT eat greasy junk anymore or chug pop!
I feel like crap, my teeth feel funny (I haven't brushed them yet but anyway) and I'm looking like I'm about 4 months pregnant (totally am not so please don't start celebrating for me!).

It's icy as f*ck outside right now - so my dream of jogging daily with V-Man or my dogs is on hold (as I am going on nearly 30 years without breaking a single bone in my body) until that ice is gone.

I stepped on the scale and assuming it didn't add 2kg (with nothing on it - it's messed up) - I currently weigh 64.4kg.  For those that don't go by kg - that's about 142 pounds.
Now, please don't crap on me because you'd "love to be my size".  Please also don't advise me "you should be happy with what you're blessed with".

Currently, my pants don't fit unless they're made stretchy (I tossed on a pair of too small jeans and a long shirt and had my fly open the WHOLE night) and I simply don't have the budget or the time - to go out and shop.
Yep - not even second hand.
I'm also finding it increasingly difficult to chase my kids down or do heavy lifting - so I need to make some changes (and stick with them).

I am not blaming anyone - as I have a brain and am the one making the decisions to order the Big Mac meal or the pizza or to make sweet and sour chicken balls (aka coat chicken in heavy batter and fry/bathe in oil until golden brown) two days in a row... and not pairing that up with enough exercise, water or sleep.

I'm one of those people that if I gain weight - it goes to my face and my belly immediately.  It's like my love handles scream, "Hey Biggy (Mac) - come down here and fill up this hole!  Ice-cream sundae - you get on the right hand side!"

What I'm going to do - is try and get my ass back on track with exercising again.
I finally understand how to use the Xbox One and will try to dedicate 30 minutes a night to yoga or some other more tortuous exercising video game.  Remember - I don't see any point in registering for a gym.
I bought a kettle bell recently (4kg) and need to remember to use that too and I'm one of those weirdos that likes to plank...I can do a minute straight without crying at least.
And if I can find my iPod shuffle somewhere here - I need to learn how to download music onto the thing and start dancing in the kitchen again (blinds down and closed so I don't terrify the neighbourhood).

Anyway, I figure today's March the 1st (officially it's almost 1am!) and now is a good time to try.
I don't expect to be buffer than Arnold anytime soon (nor do I want to be THAT big) - but making my clothes fit nicer, better and just being able to breathe without huffing and puffing up the stairs would be ideal.

And I leave you with this:

"Grease is the word
Grease is the word, is the word that you heard
It's got groove it's got meaning
Grease is the time, is the place is the motion
Grease is the way we are feeling" 

:D
BIMU

PS On the flip side - it's officially 2 months into my "don't buy yarn for a year" resolution.  10 more to go!

Let's Be Honest: Stay At Home Parenting

I truly think there is nothing wrong with being a stay-at-home mother however with three children and one of them needing super strict scheduling (V-Man) - which I could never fully do - I decided to pop M-Girl into day-care at 11-months old and get a spot to study Finnish language locally.
It's partially (okay - mostly) for financial reasons - so we can try building up our savings account and pay off my spouse's student loans debts (thank goodness I don't have any!) and prepare for the future...how grown-up of us...
Anyways - with that said - I've noticed that I've become a better parent almost immediately because I haven't seen my children all day and found my patience  has increased.
Sure, I have more "freedom" than many other stay-at-home parents do - I go knitting once or twice a month completely alone (when the V-Man is away to overnight care) and I only bring one child with me to knitting if V-Man is home (it's just loads easier on SH) and often only take one child with me to go get groceries.

Single parents get full props because I know I couldn't do it with 1 child or all 3 (plus dogs) on my own!
 
I had absolutely no assumptions about stay-at-home parents' (SAHP) lives before having my own children and I realize that many of my Canadian friends were SAHP because going to work simply wasn't worth it financially.
Whatever pay they received was going straight into day-care fees and sometimes - their pay wasn't able to cover the wild costs of day-care.  Also, with children going to day-care - they're bound to get sick with anything and everything.  Not all employers have flexible scheduling systems to make up lost time for your child being ill - so I can completely understand why my friends chose to stay at home and promote their services for baby-sitting or another small business!

Here are some common things I have heard from people or read online (often misconceptions) about being a stay-at-home parent:

• If you're home all day - the home should be spotless.
• A wonderful dinner put on the table everyday.
• The laundry, cleaning, dishes are all done and everything is in its rightful place.
• Garbage, recycling and bio waste have all been taken out and the home doesn't have a speck of dust!
• If you're home all day - you can sleep whenever you want - so why are you saying you're tired?
• You're just lazy and don't want to go back to work.

Okay - those may come off as harsh but it's true.  Not that IT'S true - just that those are some of the things you can read about or hear from people who don't know what it's like to stay at home with 1 child or 5.

This is how I see a SAHP, assuming any of these possible tasks are able to get done:

• Chef: Probably have to cook for everyone else in the household and have to satisfy as many tastes and preferences possible (at least in my household I have to try to do this!)
• Built-In Restaurant: for the breast-feeding mamas out there and for those that have to boil, sterilize and make formula too!
• Chauffeur:  Whether you have to transport your child, self or others by car, bike, bike trailer, bus or foot - you're immediately like a Transformer toy and have to get to your destination!  And hopefully on time! (Ha ha ha ha ha.)
• Day-care /playgroups
• School
• Appointments
• Work
• Playground
• Shopping excursions
• Personal Shopper:  
• Groceries
• Prescriptions, teething gel and pain relievers for both yourself and the teething tot
• Clothing
• Diapers
• Tooth paste, toilet paper, cleaning supplies and everything else to maintain a household
• Birthday and every other gift needed for so-and-so's event coming up.
• Don't forget the card to go with the gift!
• On-call nurse:
• Diaper changes
• Bed sheet changes for those leaky diapers and vomit fiestas throughout the night (might be your spouse - might be the baby!)
• Provide medication/pain relievers/antibiotics
• Relay information when taking child(ren) to emergency in the middle of the night or if lucky to the doctor in the day-time!
• Maid: 
• Laundry
• Dishes
• Ironing (not us)
• General cleaning
• Take out the trash, recyclables and compost
• Take the pet out as well if applicable!

• Manager/Secretary:
• Schedule hobbies, naps, and events for everyone
• Remind everyone of above schedule
• Ensure the agenda is booked accordingly for dentist, doctor, teacher and therapy appointments - for everyone.
• Organize time to have visitors or to go visit friends.
• Organize baby-sitters for emergencies or for date-night.
• Submit applications for school, school trips (permission slips), benefits, day-care etc.
• Party Planner/Caterer:
• Birthday
• Every other holiday
• Plan menus and location and activities
• Budget
• Grocery shop
• Food prep 
• Parent
• Provide hugs and kisses for all the boo-boos that may occur.
• Read and play with child. 
• Fight for your child's rights in school or extracurricular activities.
• Comfort child when they're being bullied or attacked.
• Fight away the monsters under the bed and in the closets.
• Make sure nobody hurts each other.
• Figure out a discipline plan if needed.

So this has been my experience of being a SAHP and while not all of this may apply to some - I think SAHP shouldn't be frowned upon.
I'm not entirely sure about the percentages of SAHP getting their job back after a year or longer of being a full-time SAHP or getting any job in general - but it would be nice if the figures went up!  Being a SAHP isn't always easy! (Sometimes it never is.)

Pros of being a SAHP:

• Get to be there for the child(ren)'s milestones as much as possible and possibly much more than some parents in other countries!
• You don't have to rely on a baby-sitter that may fall ill and cancels last moment with no back-ups available.
• Teach child(ren) home-schooling basics for those that planned to home school anyway.
• Or even the basics like their name, alphabet and manners etc.
• You run your own schedule - which can allow for sickness, dirty diapers and accidents.
• You might be able to squeeze in a nap when the previous night was pretty rough.
• Less stress in trying to balance work and parenting - especially if one (or all) become ill!
• Financially it can save a lot of money.

Cons of being a SAHP:

•  Depending where you live - it can get lonely.  I.e. not a lot of children in the area or even socializing with other adults (as opposed to cooing at the baby 24/7).
• Also if you're a SAHD (Stay-at-home Dad) - and there aren't other SAHD in your area - it can be more difficult to find play dates for your child.  But then again, it depends on where you live and the culture as well!
• Not everything will get done and that can be annoying.
• Sometimes nothing makes the baby happy -it's not your fault.  You're trying the best that you can!  But at the same time - it's ridiculously frustrating...just take a moment - breathe, count to 10 and get back in there!
• Again - financially - your life-style before kids may be completely different now.  Instead of yearly vacations or eating at fancier restaurants and going to the latest movie in theater - you may have to budget more depending on your income as a SAHP and if you're not bringing the kids to the movie with you - you'll need to hire a baby-sitter! (Or have a good friend or family member assist you!)

It's certainly a tough decision to become a SAHP or a working parent but for right now, I'm glad I went to study (even though I'm absolutely clueless as to what I want as a full-time career) because my studies give me something to focus on that isn't my children.
Yes I love my kids and do everything I can for them.  However, me studying is a nice distraction or break from being a SAHM and I find I'm much happier and definitely more patient at dealing with my children at the end of the day.

BIMU

Trying to Be A Grown-Up

I won't bother apologizing for being a lazy blogger.
Everyone has been having a round with the flu lately and I'm finally getting hit with rounds in the bathroom that has me almost having the amount of tiles counted on the opposite wall from my "throne".

Well, just thought I'd write something that has been on my mind for awhile.

What the heck am I going to do for a job in the future?!
Sure, being a stay-at-home mother is a full-time job in itself and if you haven't seen this video already - you really should.  It's called "Why Moms get nothing done" and stay-at-home-dads - this applies to you too!  It came across my Facebook feed and I just had to share it here.
It explains a lot of things about me.

• Why we don't bother cleaning 90% of the time.  (Dishes and laundry seem to be an exception and even still there is always a dirty pot or two kicking about!)
• Why M-Girl doesn't have a dresser currently.  She has a closet/tall cupboard but hasn't figured out how to open the door yet.  Or else she'd not really be emptying everything out but more so trying to dress herself in 10 dresses, 4 onesies, 3 pairs of tights and a hat.  At the same time.
• Why we don't have a broom but just use a vacuum instead.
• That and Finnish brooms are all quite short!
• Why we invite guests over seldomly- so we have the excuse to clean!

Every year - something just hits me and I suddenly feel worthless.
Sure there are perks of being a stay-at-home mother (separate blog post here!) , however - I'm done that now.  I'll always be a mother - but as it stands currently, I'm a student too.
I'm studying Finnish language right now but it just doesn't seem to be "enough" for me.

Why?

We don't know where we will live permanently.  It's hard getting a permanent position in Finland for my spouse, who's in the university academics profession and not knowing whether we stay here or not - will I ever use Finnish outside of Finland?
No - probably not. 

Am I wasting my time?
Definitely (sorta) not.  Mostly because A-Man speaks Finnglish (a real mix of Finnish and English!) and regardless of where we live in the future - it'd be ideal to be able to communicate with him in whatever language he feels comfortable with.  
Then again, if we live in Finland for at least another 5 years - it'd be better to be more familiar with the language - even if just to get around and get basic necessities!
And I imagine fairly rude to NOT learn the language of the country you love and live in...

I don't have a degree or a diploma.  I tried studying psychology for a year and a semester and the exams had me stressed out to the extreme.  Mostly because I couldn't comprehend how to study properly and I truly think that university just wasn't for me.  I'll have to write a separate post about my high school educational days...

I continually worked in customer-service related jobs in Canada and was fine with the idea of working my way up to the top eventually.

But now I'm realizing I wasted a lot of time.  Sure, I have "years of experience" and being a stay-at-home mother for 4 years or so also adds a lot to a CV (think: chef, maid, organizer/planner, party planner and caterer, full-time/on-call nurse/restaurant, shopper and secretary in 1!)
Had I just sucked it up and kept trucking - even distance-learning wise - I'd surely have my bachelor's of arts in SOMETHING by now.  Maybe be half-way through my masters degree in SOMETHING too.

I guess my SOMETHING is what I need to figure out and that's the frustrating part.

The tiniest part of me thinks I should take M-Girl out of day-care - and go back to being a stay-at-home mother full time.
I can try harder to clean more, structure a good schedule for my kids, teach them more life skills at home (i.e. cooking, cleaning and when they're older - budgeting and DIY repairs), meet other SAHP and prepare more filling and nutritious meals everyday.
I don't worry that M-Girl wouldn't get the social skills she needs because the playground is down the road, I could try and get her to ski a bit - now that she can walk in her 3 layers (snow suit, wool suit and clothing) and more importantly, her winter boots with minimum falling down...the hardest hurdle is over with!
And we also have a lot of friends that have recently became mothers or are still at home with slightly older children.

But at the same time - I realize I need to study something.  To have some structure or schedule in my own life.
And that's where my head butts the wall hard.

Also, financially speaking, I get better benefits to be a student with three children than to be a stay-at-home mother of one (A-Man would have to go to day-care as Finland doesn't cover stay-at-home allowances for children over the age of 3). 

A friend of mine, who has her phD in economics advised me to go with what I'm good at.
Well, this was the list I gave her:

• I can listen/talk (hence the original psychologist idea)
• I enjoy baking (but have so much more to learn)
• I love crafts
• I like teaching (but again lacking the degrees and let's face it - many countries - it's hard to get a teaching position and often they're not paid well.  I don't expect to be a millionaire from teaching!  However, to be able to support my family would be ideal...)
• Blogging (of course adding more photos and devoting much more time than once a month posts is necessary!)

I suppose one of the ideal jobs for me is where I have flexibility in my scheduling.  I could make up for any (un-expected) lost time in the future, work towards become my own boss and such.
Without doing the Tupperware, Mary-Kay, Avon or any similar door-to-door approach...If you can do it - great!  It's not for me.  I've tried it before!
 
Perhaps full-time blogging is the way to go?!
Reviewing items companies ship to me?  Then again - what if I get sued because someone didn't like my review?  I'm not "mean" brutally honest...I'm just honest as nicely as possible...
I would definitely be interested - leave a comment below! 

How did you figure out what your SOMETHING was?
BIMU

PS My text is all messed up on my end - so I had to increase the text to "large" so it showed up normally in the preview...hope it's not too hard on your eyes!

A Proper Update

Hi, how's it going?
This is far overdue and I apologize...been busy as usual!

Sorry for my absence as of recently.  I wrote that blog post about A-Man going to be assessed at the JKL Neurological Clinic and was exhausted.
And then to top it off - I'm studying Finnish intensively in a small beige room with tiny windows...and by the time my brain shuts off the English translating part - my head hurts.  I've had headaches everyday after class to some extent.  And it's cold here - so the fresh air after class does help flush out my brain.  But then we're back to square one the next day.
This was three weeks ago - I'm now in a school doing a work practice!  Time to finish this post!

So a few weeks ago we had a meeting with the psychologist (who saw us in the autumn), two of A-Man's day-care teachers and V-Man's day-care teacher (she was replacing someone else).
The meeting was planned in October but because this particular psychologist is fully booked most of the time - we were able to get a meeting with her in early January.
We had met with the same people in the autumn of last year but it wasn't a very progressive meeting because the troubles that the day-care (and us at home) had with A-Man had disappeared.
However, over the course of the autumn and Christmas holidays - they resurfaced.

We sat down for a pow wow and this was the result:

• We cut off A-Man from his soother (dummy, pacifier, binky etc.) in October prior to his 3rd birthday.  
• He seemed fine at home but still had occasional night terrors.
• He started getting a little fiesty with his brother - pushing him and hitting him for no reason other than to be protective of the kitchen (he really loves cooking) and the bedroom.
• He doesn't eat meat at home.  Occasionally bacon.  He doesn't eat vegetables and only just started accepting fruit into his diet - mostly bananas and occasionally apples and he'll taste cucumbers then pass them onto the dogs or his sister.
• We call him our "part-time vegetarian" because at school he devours everything and multiple portions of it!
• He won't eat pizza - only the crust and if there's any other ingredient (other than a bit of sauce) - he'll pick it off and say "yuck".
• At day-care he was fighting and having regular melt downs about getting dressed to go out to play and cannot follow instructions (hence why he's still in the youngest group which is normally 10-months-2 years old).
• They didn't want to move him up because he doesn't listen and the older groups are larger and with less staff and the children are more independent (i.e. can dress themselves).
• His speech wasn't developing for his age - of course there is the mix of two very different languages (his day-care is a Finnish one) but he was repeating very short sentences repeatedly and not trying to say anything else.
  (This has since changed a bit for the better - he's played some Fisher Price apps in English on my phone and seems to really enjoy them and his vocabulary has nearly doubled during his sick leave.)
• He has very strict routines like saying goodbye to the bus.  And if the bus is not continuing a route and just staying there for awhile - we also have to stay.  Which is quite a pain when we have to go somewhere!

So what did they all think?

(Of course I cannot remember every single thing we discussed but this gives you a rough idea.)

• He should transfer day-cares in the fall.  Because the day-care that V-Man attends is full for the year - and because of the fighting - A-Man will hopefully be transferred to the day-care next autumn, while V-Man goes to school.
• The hope is that A-Man will be in a smaller group and the larger number of children won't overwhelm him.  Also he'll be with children closer to his age - so hopefully this will boost his vocabulary.
• V-Man's day-care teacher also advised that while it does sound like possible autism - she thinks that having clear photos of "what happens next" will help A-Man and calm him down.  So they're trying that at day-care too.
• He may be showing signs of autism - of course a very different case of it compared to the V-Man.  So he'll be getting assessed at the neurological clinic in the future - just waiting now for the appointment.
• He's having another appointment after the ski holiday (last week of February in Central Finland area) to see how things have progressed with having his schedule turned upside down (staying at home for a week) and then going back to a strict routine of day-care.

So yeah - that's the proper update without the hate and anger from the first post. :)
BIMU

Life With Kids: When Does It End?!

So you haven't heard from me in over a week! a couple weeks!
I'm sorry - I really am.  But guess what?

I'm coming down with a cold.  Why? (It's almost done...)

Remember my last post I went on and on about how awesome V-Man was for the dentist?
Yes well it turned out he was sick.  Go figure.  That night he had a wicked fever and it lasted a solid 8 days.
We went to the hospital twice and SH took him to the doctor once for tests and antibiotics. 
A-Man had the fever prior to this dentist appointment then V-Man got it and then he got a throat infection and then it turns out his tubes in his ears are gone and he got an ear infection immediately.
M-Girl also has an ear infection...seriously.

Now I'm the one with a touch of a sore throat, a leaky and semi-stuffed up nose...and a bit of a cough.
I'm fighting it though!  I don't have much of a choice as I'm doing my "työharjoittelu" (work practice) here in Central Finland.
I got the same place as last year when I was pregnant with M-Girl (can you believe she's now a certified 1 year old?!) but had to leave early due to her wanting to come out 1.5 months early.
She didn't make an appearance until she was supposed to...but I was ordered to go on bed rest for the remainder of December 2013 and then my maternity leave started right after that.

And of course no matter where you go - there's coughing kids....everywhere. :)
So there's a short little post for you...

OH WAIT!

Last night the SH went to Helsinki for his monthly (mandatory) meetings and I was home with all three kids and both dogs.  I thankfully finished a bit early yesterday and rushed home, took the dogs out for a good length walk then picked up the V-Man and we went to get his siblings and then I was stumped.

1)  Do I go home and we watch movies non-stop and play games?
or
2)  Do I go crazy and hope A-Man doesn't wet himself (or at least asks for the bathroom) and take them all out for pizza and some shopping?

Oh right - so my phone also kept dying on me (it was an iPhone 3GS kindly donated to me by my awesome neighbour) - so I've figured it really bit the dust and wanted to look at the prices on other iPhones.

I took my kids to a few different stores and they didn't complain whatsoever!
It was an awesome evening and by the time we got home - all three passed out easily. :D

Time to start writing a newer blog post I suppose! :)
BIMU

PS A Finnish friend of mine has two boys and when I told her about everyone being sick she just told me it seems to be a common trend once you have 3 or more!