My Juicing Journal: 5 Days Left!

25 days ago (and then some) - I started on a 30-day Juice Challenge and while I had cheat meals once in awhile (along with regular meals but smaller portions) - I wanted to share some things that have happened!  And I still have 5 days left!

1. It was super hard at first.  Mostly on my bowels.  I wasn't expecting this at all and am grateful I had a few days off from school at the time because there's no way I could sit in class or get to the bathroom quickly enough.
1. Then again - since I haven't had such horrible "sessions" since then - I'm guessing I'm feeding my body better and that makes me smile.
2. I no longer juice at night out of fear.
2. I have more energy.  On days I didn't get enough sleep - I drag my arse out of bed and have my juice and feel loads better.  Ginger really puts a bit of kick into it!
1. I don't drink coffee or even tea very often - so I don't have that wake-me-up that coffee-lovers have in order to actually wake up and be civilized.
   Juicing has become my coffee.
3. I feel better.  I feel more alert and sharper when I've juiced.
4. I juice only breakfast despite wanting to juice 2/3 meals a day (and I'm okay with that)- but had a much smaller portion at lunch time and drank more water in between meals and felt just as satisfied.  
1. Sometimes I juiced supper if I wasn't in the mood to eat.  This way I have something in my belly.
5. I'm wearing jeans I couldn't wear 6-months ago - not even the month before I started.  I know and I'm sure - if I had strictly juiced and didn't eat meals (regardless of portions) - I'd be a twig.  But I didn't want to lose weight too fast nor feel as if (or give the impression of) I was starving.  I know it's not easy to go from a regular naughty eating habit to just juicing and it's what makes a lot of people quit making juice.
1. I've lost some weight - I'm guessing about 2-3 kilos.  I just stood on my scale and the batteries are nearly dead apparently.  And it takes those flat disc-style batteries - which I don't have.
6. I washed my juicer immediately before drinking my juice.  Instead of putting it off and having the fruit bits stick on (forever) - I just did it.  It also helps that my dishwasher is on bed rest for awhile.  
7. I have found ways to bond a bit more with my children.  I do NOT encourage my children to juice fast whatsoever.  What I DO encourage is that they get to make juice with me and drink some with their meals.  It's the funnest way to see a cause and effect (push the fruit or veggie in and out comes juice!) and also a great way to get them to have some veggies and fruits in their diet.  All three of my children have tried making juices and only V-Man and M-Girl seem to enjoy drinking them...usually a couple sips here and there - that's it.
8. I'm spending more time in the produce section of the grocery store than ever before.  Not a lot of my family members like fruits and veggies - so I'm alone in that category and buying one or two apples for me alone seems so silly.  But with juicing - I need more than that - and have been buying fruit by the kilos (especially when on sale).
9. I'm not enjoying pop/soda anymore at all.  Once the buzz is over - I feel like a train wreck and it just sucks.
10. I'm drinking more water.  I'm not a fish by any means - and I have a lot of friends that drink a lot more water than I can imagine to drink - but my water drinking has increased and I think it's doing my body good!

M-Girl helped me out today and sweet girl saw me pop in a carrot and immediately imitated me.  In the third photo at the top - she tried to push the black tube in but was doing it upside down (and machine was off anyway). :)

Testing!

I realize it's a bit premature to celebrate 25-days of  juicing and because I should probably have finished 30-days by now (missed some days) - but I'm quite proud of how far I've come and I'm at that point in my juicing experience where I honestly miss it if I don't juice.
You feel miserable without your latte or coffee or donut in the morning?  Me too - juice version.
You need to vent at the gym and you miss your gym time and get all crabby?  Yeah same here...I also get crabby when I haven't juiced.

On Saturday (oh tomorrow) - I'm going to my first sport event in Finland ever.  For the sake of participating.
Badminton.  Seriously.  It's a tournament - so that's a bit nerve wrecking, seeing as I haven't played competitively in ...*count my fingers...dig out the calculuator...JEEZE 15 years.

15 YEARS

I'm hoping that playing every now and again (it's obviously not an everyday club) will help me sleep better because I'm still battling with insomnia and waking up between 3 and 5 am (when I don't have to!).
I figure I'll play once a week or once every two weeks - because it'll take me that long to recover from muscles burning and so on.

I'm done for the day blogging.  Everyone is back home now and I think I'll just go crash with them.
Have a lovely weekend and Happy Easter if you don't hear from me again via this blog this weekend...I'll be quite busy prepping food for guests. :)

And thanks for your support - near and far.  Every word means a lot.
<3
BIMU

How Dangerous IS The Hulk? And other blabbings.

Totally cool if you want to skip the blabbings and find out how dangerous the Hulk is by scrolling down to the line!

Since my last blog post was posted - I've had a lot of friends write me lovely things and telling me I'm brave and that they had no idea I was feeling depressed.

I guess that's the thing with depression (at least for me) - it's always there - usually quite tame and doesn't bother me until the last straw lands on the camel's back and I explode.  So I just hold it in and try my best to sleep it off.

As many of you know - women's brains are just hyper wired to think about a kajillion different things at once.
I just can't shut it off and wish I could.  Not sure if any women can - but anyway.  I've been buying myself a lot of different colouring books for grown-ups and they help.  I've also been doodling a bit (they're on Instagram) and trying to go to bed early - in the hopes my brain just flushes itself out.

Since my last blog post was posted - I nearly tore my hair out (literally) - as I was baking cookies for a party my husband and 2/3 kids were going to.
2/3 kids decided to climb on the very chair I needed to get the eggs down from the top shelf.
That was a straw....on top of the already toppling basket of straw falling off the camel's back.
I began screaming, crying and yanking my hair and pinching my face.

Husband looked at me and asked, "What is wrong with you?!  What's wrong?"
Then he ushered the kids out of the kitchen as I sat on the floor yanking my hair out and while closing the door to my sobs muttered, "Fine - hold it in."

It's what I do best.  I hold my tongue, I don't say what's really on my mind ("Hey you - I really think you're a snobby bitch and can't stand being around you and therefor have been pretending to like you for the last X while"..."I'd consider suicide but I can't even handle a paper cut...so that's just a no go I guess."...just doesn't sound really nice does it?), I hold in my feelings and emotions and I try my hardest to remember:

"It can always be worse."

Then my mind goes onto overdrive and I think of all the horrible things that I'm personally bitching about and all the things that are going on in other families/in the world:

• I don't talk with my own family very much (to the point we don't even Skype and 2/3 of  my kids haven't "met" them online) VS Some people don't have any.
• I have a husband that loves me and when I tell him I'm depressed he doesn't say anything because he doesn't know what to say and that's that.  He's used to me doing the chatting and he's waiting patiently for me to un-cork the bottle and spill the millions of little beans in my head.  VS  Some people don't have a loved one (romantic or otherwise) they can tell they're depressed.
• Same husband ordered Netflix when I was fairly against it because I don't want to be a couch potato - as I hear this is rather common with becoming a Netflix member.
• I wish he wasn't autistic VS Some people have much worse disabilities or life-threatening diseases/conditions, some people have lost their babies or kids to cancer, diabetes etc.  
• I shouldn't bitch so much about this at all.  This blog post shall remind me.
• I have just gotten a Finnish test back and passed with a 58%.  I dread going to class because my brain isn't absorbing anything and I just really don't feel I'm up to snuff to be in level 2 Finnish (and I'm not seeking compliments or being too modest - I'm being flat-out honest!).  But my teacher thinks I can do it and she's tickled pink if I understand about 50% that comes out of her mouth. 
• Trust me - the last day of the class is circled big and bright in my calendar.
• I can't talk to SH because he's busy working and he already took some time off to help me with this or that...We've already had this chat before that he's okay with me interrupting him but still - I feel bad and don't want to.  I'd rather just take a nap and hope it goes away for awhile.
• Can't nap because V-Man likes stripping...and he's not potty-trained.
• Remember this appointment and that - a long and never ending cycle.  
• My dishwasher has been broken for nearly 4 weeks now (waiting on some valve to be ordered in and they're coming on Tuesday to fix it)  VS some people don't have one or food to eat etc.
• My bathroom sink is STILL broken.  It's been broken since Christmas Day and I'm going soon to get a replacement then hopefully the "janitor" of the building can come and fix it.  
• Because not a single fucking plumber in Jyväskylä seems to be interested in helping a family of 5 NOT cut their fingers (mostly V-Man and M-Girl playing with the sharp edges) or be able to brush their teeth and wash their hands in the bathroom.

Anyways these are some examples of the crap going on in my mind - never mind the cleaning, laundry, un-finished projects and homework to do.

_________________________________________________________________________________

Oh right, I meant to write something semi-funny here to help lighten up the blog's dark clouds.

Remember I went to the hospital with V-Man today?  (I briefly mentioned it in the last post).

Well, I went out with my friend and our dogs and noticed when I got back that V-Man's nose is swollen.

And I don't mean a bit swollen because he rubbed it too hard or boinked it in the sofa while jumping.

I mean half his nose was abnormally large and his eye lid was shifting a bit too because it was THAT swollen.  Of course I couldn't get a decent photo because he kept moving and didn't want me to touch it either.

So after I called a friend that works in the kids-are-little-dangerous-beings department (she's a health center nurse) - she confirmed that we should definitely get to the hospital and get it checked out.

An hour and 20 minutes later we were out with the advice to keep an eye on it and if the swelling doesn't go down by Tuesday - to get him checked out.

It took hubby and I ages to figure out WTF happened.
Did he fall?  Did he get hit in the face?

No.  Not today...

Wait a second.  V-Man and A-Man were fighting a couple nights ago and A-Man took his Hulk toy (aka a solid chunk of green plastic with dark purple shorts) and swung it into V-Man's face.

LIKE A BASEBALL BAT.

And while there wasn't any blood at that time - there also wasn't any swelling!

But after that - he was kind of dopey and not himself. (Mild concussion?)  He also had a small fever at one point.  

We also didn't notice anything wrong with his nose or face either.  This morning he threw an absolute fit about washing his face and hubby didn't notice the swelling then either.

When I told the doctor this, she nodded and felt the nose briefly (or tried to) and said there's nothing she can do right now until the swelling goes down.  And if the swelling goes down and the nose is severely crooked - then they'll have to set it properly.

And that he may not have had any swelling until today because he may have done something and pushed it over a bit somehow.

Here's the funny bit - I remember telling hubby that V-Man would break something by the time he was 5 or around then - back when V-Man was 1.  

He's that much of an adventurous child...although this wasn't his fault.

HULK SMASH!

BIMU

PS Too soon? Bad joke?  Yes probably.  But I chuckled. :)

Anyone have contacts with a baseball league that'll take my 3-year old A-Man and his Hulk doll? That thing is a beast and can really swing.

My Bus Friend

I love finishing classes before 2 pm because it gives me just enough time to rush to the store and take a leisurely (KID-FREE) but quick shopping trip for groceries.
Of course this isn't everyday necessarily but today, being the eve of a holiday, means that I should try and get to the grocery store super early before everyone finishes work and school.

I took the bus and had the company of a local semi-sober drunk sit with me a stop after I got on.
I hoped that he wouldn't talk to me - but he was in the mood to practice his English.
I say "semi-sober drunk" because he did reek of booze and was in need of a shower but he was coherent, able to understand me and asked some nice questions.

"Hey...where are you from?"
"Canada."
"Canada?  Oh Canada.  I am from Jyväskylä.  This place (points around).  This is my town."
"Yes it's lovely."
"No.  Finland is shit."
"Oh? I don't think so."
"Is Canada better than Finland?"
"No, I really like Finland.  I like Finland more than Canada actually."
I then go on about how I lost some school mates due to drugs, war, violence and so on - and find Finland much safer.
"I understand.  Do you know the president of Finland?  He's an asshole."
"Oh well, I didn't know that...."

Of course the whole bus can hear our conversation - because they are interested in the fact that he's speaking 

"I like 'Billy the Kid' - have you seen it?"
"No."
"It's my favourite movie."
"That's nice."
"Want to know my name?  Hello, I'm James Bond.  My name is James Bond."

I chuckled and said it was nice to meet him and we wished each other Happy Easter and he got off the bus.

This was one of the most satisfying conversations in a long time - with anyone - friend or stranger.

BIMU

No I'm Not Okay

I'm done pretending like everything is awesome and I like everyone (fact: I don't) and perhaps I need a nap and perhaps not.
I'm just so frustrated and even went as far as leaving a knitting group I started almost two years ago because of several things.

1.  I wasn't getting any knitting done anyway.  It's more of a hang-out have coffee etc fest and while that's fine and dandy - my yarn stash still isn't going down.  Especially if I bring A-Man with me.
2.  It was getting expensive and with SH having to start paying back his student loans soon - I just cannot resist a piece of cake or a cookie etc. - then end up feeling sick as a dog afterward - and obviously doesn't help to save money.  This is fairly new but chocolate, smell of booze or cigarette smoke give me massive headaches now or stomach aches - so I've been avoiding chocolate and most super sugary sweets.
3.  I think I'm becoming an introvert.  Now that I'm surrounded every weekday with classmates that I don't really talk with (except one guy because we met briefly in the last course I did) - I just really want to be alone.
4.  Lots of other itty bitty private reasons.

Of course with a home full of 3 kids and 2 dogs and an introverted husband already - this is easier said than done.

I've honestly had a shitty forty-eight hours and I'm pretty sure my depression is coming back (shocked? Don't be - I don't actually post everything on Facebook) and I'd consider asking for help from a psychologist if it wasn't for the fact that it's the holiday weekend, and the last time I told a doctor I was feeling very depressed (when pregnant with M-Girl) - I was laughed off and advised "You look fine" - I suppose because I took a shower and didn't want to go out in public looking like a grease bomb.

How depressed?
1.  I didn't want to have any more children.
2.  I packed a bag, ensured I had money in the bank account for a 1-way plane ticket to Canada and had a passport.
I was advised by the doctor that "it's just your hormones and you've been married too long."
No questions asked about self-harm, harm to the kids if applicable or suicidal thoughts.

Yep - contemplated suicide several times (even 5 minutes ago after a fairly useless visit to the hospital with the V-Man) but I'm trying to be "better than that".  I'm trying to be as nosy as fuck and continuously think about my kids' future.

It's the only thing keeping me going.

I once shared a post about being forgiving because everyone suffers and a friend immediately snuffed it saying that they try to be kind to others who deserve it and are indeed suffering.  I say nay nay - be kind - you never know when it can help down the road.

I've weeded out my FB friends list down to people I actually talk to.  Goal would be under 100 but let's see how this goes.
Don't be offended if you're deleted - it just means while I appreciate the friendship we had - we don't talk anymore, so see you around.

I'm sorry this post isn't as cheery or happy-go-lucky as possible but this is how it is.
It comes in waves and I just have an ice-cream and it goes away or it comes crashing down (like now) and I just want to scream non-stop, dig a hole - a really deep one - and never come out.

Helplessly yours,
BIMU

A Side of Autism: Occupational Therapy

Remember how I wrote recently that I had a really inspiring and wonderful meeting with V-Man's occupational therapist?
We'll call her Mrs. OT!

Anyways, at the end of that wonderful one-on-one meeting, she suggested I come to one of V-Man's therapy sessions to have a firsthand look at what they do together and hopefully, he'll be in a good mood.

Sounds good and it's not something we did (or considered doing) the first year because it took that long to get him used to Mrs. OT and getting a rhythm down and so on.

Now, thanks to the PECS (picture exchange communication system), V-Man was advised that he would have his therapy session with Mrs. OT and I joined in at breakfast time and we went there together.

Some things you should know:

1. I don't drop off or pick-up V-Man from day-care.  So for me to show up went completely against everything he knows.  Sorry V-Man...
1. Remember, he takes a taxi due to our schedules and location!
2. We were in a small room - which is ideal because there's less distraction and the other children couldn't get to it either.  
3. Turns out he was ill and had a fever later on this evening - so he wasn't in his most co-operative behaviour.
4. I didn't say a word and kept my facial expressions neutral because I wanted to give Mrs. OT and V-Man 100% each other's attention.  I tried not to move much either.
1. Not that I wasn't excited or proud of him for several things - just trying to be the fly on the wall!

If you ever get the chance to watch your child's therapy sessions - I truly recommend it!

It's one thing to have those chit chat type of meetings (or communicate via e-mail or phone) and go over things, usually without the child there - but it's a whole other level to actually join in on a therapy session and actually see for yourself what happens. :)

A fairly new toy - the wheels spin and it plays animal sounds if you fit them in the back!
*I found this second hand tonight and am super excited.

Here's what I observed:

• Routine - clearly there were some favourite activities!
• Excitement - He knows their little room and loves the huge bags of toys she brings with her.
• Experimenting - He managed to get his Smurf sock on his big toe!  BY HIMSELF!  Then he experimented with removing it every time we put them back on.
• He also tried a toy where you press shapes into the console and it played music.
• PECS exchanges - he cried/begged/tossed cards for crackers.  Then the routine kicked in and he got to have crackers after doing an activity.
• Constantly changing - V-Man went from one activity to another and back to the first activity from five minutes prior in a blink of an eye.
• Love - he adores her in his own way and she is just as loving/caring and kind to him as any parent would be to their own child.
• Patience - one thing needed when working with special needs children! :)
• Hard work - both therapist and child were really pushing their limits with each other and realizing a few hours later that he was super sick with a nasty fever - I really admire my V-Man so much for continuing!
• Exhaustion - Again because he was sick...
• Happiness -  when he got a cracker or when he tried to do something new or if he did something successfully - lots of happiness was going around! :)
• Contact - this being one of the most important when it comes to autistic children.  There was a lot of eye contact, physical contact (tickling, games, toys, assistance) and communicating.

Some activities they did:

• PECS
• Blowing a balloon up and releasing the air
• Opening and closing containers
• Playing harmonica (she played, he held it) and then putting them back in boxes
• Opening and closing jars of body butter and smelling them
• Playing tickle games and songs
• Playing with stackable cube/boxes
• Playing with musical toys
• Playing with a drum
• Sitting in bean bag chairs
• Cuddling

I made a collage of some of their photos but either Blogger or my phone is being dumb and I can't upload it currently.

Well, I leave you with this one photo instead.

BIMU :D

Let's Be Honest: Facebook Admins

Not a typical post I write but here we go!

I think the internet is a fantastic tool.  It's full of information (both false and true) and a great way to keep in touch with each other near and far!
I am a tad lost without the internet to be honest and I primarily have Facebook for the sole purpose of keeping in touch with my friends and family all at the same time.  So much easier than writing out individual e-mails and not having to worry about how many photos I can send per e-mail because the file might be too large to send.
And you never find out until you click "Send"....

And something that I do - I probably spend far too much time doing to be honest - is supervising a couple Facebook groups.
One is an expat group page for the area I live in and the other goes hand-in-hand with it, as an English-speaking online flea market available for those in the same city.

I try my hardest to be very neutral about the stuff posted on both.  Unless it's incredibly illegal (i.e. selling cigarettes, drugs or weapons) or incredibly rude - I tend to just skim through silently and contribute when I can.
**It should be noted I'm not the only admin...these are purely my experiences!  This isn't me complaining about being an admin - but more of a sharing the admin-side of the fence!

But first (while I have it fresh in my mind) I have to share with you the cons of being a FB admin - there are a lot of nasty people out there!
Things like politics, religion and war are just 5 billion cans of worms that you don't want opening up in public groups or FB pages and it can be hard to tame it down.
And because it's a group full of expats in both - it can get pretty darn intense!
And of course because the internet being as awesome as it is - you can just say whatever the f you want and feel empowered!
Or you truly didn't "mean it that way" and it was just read wrong because this is written text - not face to face or "Voicebook".

Here's some examples of things I've come across in the past (almost) 3 years:

• Dude X sells Dudette Z an electronic thing and because it doesn't work - Dudette Z smears Dude X's business FB profile publicly (ensuring she tags him) - without admitting she's already sold off the electronic thing.
• "Where can I find ___?"
  "Have you heard of Google?/Let me Google that for you..."  
• How incredibly rude.  I imagine the person asked where they can find X items is because they want the most reliable answer.  From people with experience or knowledge of the best prices/locations to get X items from.
  They're asking for you help - not for you to advise them to go Google something.

• "I don't like what I bought/changed my mind - can I get my money back?"
• It's a used items website - of course not!
• Try before you buy
• "The advertisement says it's free but when I contacted them - they wanted 30€!"
• "I want to buy that - but for a decent price."
• "You can get that cheaper from eBay/Amazon etc."
• "They called me a racist, fascist and started bashing me and my mother."
• "If you need the money - get a student loan!" 
• Dude selling a "pocket sex toy"...used by the way...
• "Person didn't meet me/pay me.."
• "I rented my apartment out to Family Y for a couple days, as they had visitors from abroad, and when I got back into my flat - it was a complete mess.  Also they short-changed me by over 20€.  I noticed some of my coat hangers and other little things are missing too."
• Holy awkward - please call the police.
• "This guy has been a real jerk and making rude and racist comments etc."
• After a few warnings - he was removed from the group and came back asking to come back to the group a few months later.  But this was after he called me a nazi (privately), arrogant, rude and some other words...
• Various scams/spam accounts and some people actually believing they can get a loan/iPad/expensive branded coat etc. just by e-mailing someone in a different country.
• Multiple LGBT, religious, political bashings, bashing of other countries, bashing of the country we live in currently...both publicly and privately....

I don't expect everyone to get along - of course not!  It's a huge group with various opinions/cultures and experiences and I guess I'm writing this so people realize that there's a lot of crap the admins of whatever FB group you might be part of - put up with.

Don't like the price?  Suggest one and if it's rejected - then hope the seller drops it down.

Don't like the item?  You don't need to comment nasty things - and you certainly don't need to buy it.

Bought it and you don't like it?  Unfortunately it's second hand.  You wouldn't be able to return it to a flea market, shop (at least in Finland - if it works and it's not malfunctioning - you have to keep it or sell it off!) so what makes you think you can do it online?

Anyways, there are loads of positive things too.

• People helping each other out.
• People organizing events to help meet others and integrate new people.
• People discovering new places to eat or visit - thanks to recommendations or questions being asked.
• People getting rid of their junk/not needed items and someone else buying it.  Yay recycling! :)
• "I saw the Northern Lights for the first time in my life - thanks to this group!"
• "I got my wallet back - thanks for the support! It was at the police station!"
• "I lost my..../I found a...."
• "How do I say _____ in Finnish?"
• "I have a problem and don't know how to go about solving it...anyone have experience with...?"
• "Are there other expecting foreign parents that had experience with ____?"
• "I need to dispose of some batteries and old phones that don't work...where can I do that?"
• "There's a memorial/charity service..."
• "Anyone able to watch my dog/cat/other pet while we travel?"
• Usually someone is able to! :)
• Notices of public events or amazing sales (as many people in our group are students and are cautious about their spending).

Other things we do?

• Check people's accounts to see if they are real people and not just spam bots - before approving or declining them.
• Organize events (or try to - we all have other lives outside of Facebook! :) )
• Organize contests
• Clean and organize photo albums of items being sold
• Mediate arguments between people privately.
• Ask questions ourselves :)

For the sake of getting this post up and online - I apologize my lists are probably skewed and my memory is quite limited these days! ;)

And I wonder how far I can use this experience and put it down as volunteering on a future CV? :)

Anyways, thanks for reading!
BIMU

A Side of Autism: What is it worth?

*Post was started a few days ago and a few days later I'm trying to finish it - as usual.

I had a meeting today with V-Man's occupational therapist and I don't know about you but I love these meetings.
Trust me, I used to freaking hate them before because they weren't full of progress - compared to now.  It used to be a lot of: "V-Man freaked out and cried when I visited him today at day-care.  V-Man pushed me away...he pushed away the cards...we didn't really connect today...he pinched/bit me...he ran away...maybe next time he'll be happier."

Now, I really like them because I find them inspiring, motivating and also encouraging to keep going.
Whenever I tell people that V-Man is autistic, and that's why he's flapping his hands, not saying a word, humming or bouncing on his toes or trying to steal someone else's husband or wife away at the party (or the food in their grocery bags hanging on their stroller handles) - I always get a "Poor you!" face.  Sometimes that comment too.
I know and appreciate the sympathy but I'm learning and as he gets older (and bigger) - it's getting easier.
It's getting better.

Again - not something I would have even whispered when he was 2 years old or younger.
My motto at the end of every day, once he was asleep was, "One more day closer until he's 18" (18 being the age of majority in Canada at least and able to move out - this was obviously before the suspicion or diagnosis!).
Once we had 3 kids my motto turned into, "I just need to be tough and survive the day.  Tomorrow will be better."  And of course a glass of Pepsi would be inevitably be chugged down to smooth my nerves...

I know I've written (and said) in the past that V-Man is an awesome kid but I was probably typing rather late (and as quietly but quickly as possible!) and while super emotional/hormonal.

Now I can write (it's 3:51 pm and SUNNY!) that it's true.
He's 5-years old - still doesn't speak but is able to communicate what he wants his way.
Of course in an ideal world, he could speak, use the toilet and brush his teeth on his own etc. - but since we're not in that ideal world - I'm learning that this is HIS ideal world.

His meltdowns are less because he's able to communicate his basic needs.

1. Hunger (he seems to be a teenager in a 5-year old body.  He DOESN'T STOP EATING.) : he will climb and get food himself that he wants to eat or bring a plate, cup or bowl if he wants something at the moment that he cannot reach.
2. Movies:  We used to fight with him non-stop to try new ones or to not watch them at all or spend at least 10 minutes waiting for him to choose the movie.  He's getting faster at choosing new movies and is better at expressing "nope!" (pushes my hand back to the shelf to put it away) or "heck yes!" (grabs the dvd box and squeezes it and starts stimming).
3. Contact:  He's reaching out to us and cuddling more and providing a lot of eye contact as well!
4. Play-time:  He'll bring a toy or fiddle with something with his fingers if he wants us to use it with him.  He mostly "plays" with baby toys - and that's fine.  This is a huge leap for him, within the couple of months, to want to play with toys - so I'm restraining from digging out all the toys we stocked up when he was younger and also trying to refrain myself from shopping for too much.
5. Going out:  He'll occasionally bring his boots or his harness if he wants to go out or he'll dig out something to wear.
6. Bed time:  Yes, he's showing exhaustion by just plopping himself on the sofa and passing out.

There are snippets here and there when I can see V-Man for who he REALLY is without the autism and mentally challenged spices and he's really and truly - an awesome kid.
He's super happy, loves to cuddle and still loves to bounce around like a human bouncy-ball and is caring too.
When I see those spiced layers removed - even for a brief moment - whether it be a direct and very solid eye contact and a big smile - I hang onto that for as long as I can.

So now I'm learning that the things that used to be a huge deal to ME - are really not a big deal and to pick my battles wisely.
He doesn't want to wear a certain outfit? Ok.
He doesn't want to eat everything on his plate - not even half?  Alright - as long as he ate something.
He picked that movie and once the previews were over - he decided he didn't want to watch it after all?  Fine - pick another or we do something else.

I figure as long as nobody's seriously injured, dying or gushing blood - I'm doing an okay job and he's trying.

Now it's 3 days later and I'm getting 3 kids ready to go out to the playground (or somewhere) by myself...while SH helps a friend move.
Wish me luck eh?
BIMU