A Side of Autism: Phases

I went to a parent/teacher/therapist meeting today and it was awesome.
It was long (about 2 hours) but it was well worth it because I learned a lot of things about the V-Man's newer habits at school.
In Finland, children start the year they turn 7 years old but because V-Man is diagnosed with autism - he gets to start a year early - with the aims of graduating at the same time as his peers of the same age, who would start at 7.

Out of nowhere and near the end of the meeting, I had a light bulb moment.  A real "OMG I totally forgot he did that moment!"
So I thought it'd be cool to make a quick video of some of his more memorable phases and list here in this blog - as many of the phases he's gone through since being born.
Of course they might not apply to all children - autistic or not - but I found it really interesting!
My goal is to keep my videos 10 minutes long or less - hence this longer blog post! :)

• From birth to almost 1 year old:  V-Man absolutely could not be tolerated being held by the Hubster or anyone but me.  Unless he was nearly asleep, I had no freedom.  He didn't take a soother or a bottle ever.  Boob juice all the way.
• Physical contact was hard for V-Man.  He didn't care for anyone touching him, holding his hand or being held in someone else's lap.
• Now, he quite enjoys being cuddled a bit - on his own terms - and will grab random strangers hands.  Or bums.  That's awkward on the bus...
• He was potty trained (both #1 and #2) between 6-months old and 9-months.  Then he had an abscess on his rear end and absolutely refused to sit on a potty.  There went that out the window.
• He has been obsessed since he was 1.5 years  old with rubbing breasts and chests.  I truly think it's just a cause and effect reaction for him.  Not only the cause and effect of someone telling him "No - don't do that" after rubbing someone's chest but also the skin to t-shirt contact.  The fact that if you rub a nipple (let's just be blunt here) the skin gets hard.  But it's harder for him to get the same physical reaction from a woman because they're usually wearing bras.  
• Watching Disney Cars DVD - we're on our third copy.  
• Dear Disney, thanks to you changing the cover of the DVD - V-Man refuses to watch it now.  Despite the fact that nothing else changed otherwise.
• Watching Shrek 1-4 - he loves them all. But I think the first three films are his favourite.
• Biting/Chewing clothing and people - either his clothing or us - we ended this by buying him a really soft bunny on a string with a strong clip to attach to his coat/shirt.  Whenever he threatened to bite - we just popped that bunny in his mouth and he chomped hard on that instead.
• Grinding his teeth was my "OMG" moment this morning during our meeting and I just realized that he hadn't ground his teeth in ages!!!  He is a loud and hard grinder and his front tooth is actually chipped from grinding his teeth.  The dentist said there's nothing we can do but get him to use a mouth guard (yeah - that's not happening!) and hopefully he grows out of this phase before his adult teeth settle in!
• Poor diet: He could tell the difference between Chiquita and Dole or store-branded bananas.  He only ate bananas, yoghurt, bread, French fries, crackers and certain kind of burgers from a local chain.  That was the extent of his protein/meat intake.  Once we got him into a wonderful specialized day-care - he learned how to taste new foods and become a toddler/child with a teenager x5-sized appetite!
• Still doesn't like blood tests, needles, doctors or nurses.  He had a rough first blood test when he was younger and it was something out of a nightmare - blood squirting everywhere and 3 nurses plus myself holding down a 2-year old little boy.
• Jumping - enough said.
• Dropping breakfast on our face - to wake us up he'd bring either: bread, bunch of bananas, butter or an empty glass if he was thirsty and because our bed was against the wall - 1 parent got un-lucky with the V-Man alarm clock.
• Running away/wearing a safety harness - Here's the original blog post and a video to go with it.  

  

  2014

• Climbing - he still does.  He can get on wall radiators and arrange furniture just right for his climbing needs.  So far - no broken bones. *KNOCK ON WOOD*
• Not sleeping - this phase has passed I think - thanks to the wonders of Melatonin (an over the counter sleeping aid).  And he even sleeps in his own bed which just took persistence and ensuring A-Man went to sleep after V-Man did so it was nearly silent.



He did this on his own. 5-years old

• Ear Infections were an issue from 1.5-years to recently.  Thanks to tubes surgery - he is able to sleep better.  Oh and probably because his nose is clear too...remember that orange booger?
• Ear infections do seem to be a common thing among youngsters with autism - just a trend I've noticed in reading other blogs, books and so on.
  ** Not a medical expert - just a Mom. **
• Slapping himself when angered/not getting enough attention or what he wants or when siblings scream:  the difficulty with this one is I get frustrated pretty easily and I'll admit - while spanking a child is illegal here - I feel like absolute crap for wanting to spank a child who IS screaming the roof off and driving my head into the ground with a pounding headache - but there's absolutely no point because he's already slapping himself harder than adults slap each other.  Anyway, that and I'm trying my hardest to approach my kids temper tantrums with a calmer mindset.  The other issue with that is that if we try to give him something to hold that has texture - to use as a distraction - it doesn't work.  He still slaps himself like crazy with it.  
• I'm sure my neighbours (we haven't met) think we're beating the crap out of him - but I swear we're not.  He's a 1-man show that one!
• Sniffing and touching with his lips:  this sensory test can be your skin, your clothing, new food, food he's used to - anything.
• Escaping: V-Man seems to have the tendency to know how to escape any place.  Whenever he arrives somewhere he immediately scans the room for all the potential exits.  This is a major issue because he does run away - we have to be extremely careful where we visit (i.e. playgrounds and people's homes or BBQ parties) and unfortunately, have kept those to a bare minimum.  We have a fire pit in our yard and haven't used it since moving here nearly three years ago because there's no fenced in area for him to run about.  


• His new thing, is that when he's bored - he grabs his shoes and leaves.  It means he needs a break from us, from the humming of the computer I suppose and just needs a personal time-out.  So Hubster will grab the leash and Loki (who has his own YouTube video by the way) and they all go hiking together and I've noticed when V-Man returns - he's calmer and happier.
• Another new thing is that when he's returning from overnight care - he likes to carry his own backpack (which does have some weight to it!) and he'll even carry his own booster seat (for the taxi) home!  It's about a 15-minutes walk from our home - so I'm thrilled he's interested in helping out!
• He's interested in chores: V-Man enjoys putting the dishes in the dishwasher - it's not perfect but it's the effort that counts!  He likes putting soap in the dishwasher, and in the washing machine (he was being too quiet - that was the first sign...) and "hanging laundry", and cooking!  He tries to stir food and likes to sniff spices. :)
  

I'm curious what other phases or trends he'll go through :).

Anyways, the kids are getting rowdy (V-Man is already out like a light) - so I better sign off and prep for the next video! :)
BIMU

I'm On YouTube!

I'm totally throwing myself out there and putting some home-made videos from my phone whenever I have a quiet moment and made myself a YouTube account.

I've had a YouTube account before where I did craft tutorial videos and while some friends requested I start that up again - I've currently filmed and posted two videos that are closer related to autism.

In my first video - I shared some signs our first child was autistic.
Sorry it's so darn wobbly and don't ask me why it cut off at the end so suddenly - because I have no idea! I was using YouTube Capture app for the first time too.

In the second video - I talk about using PECS and why we use communication boards with A-Man as well.

I'll have a tab up top with each video and the link - I'm still working on how to get that video bar set up so you can watch it from this blog!
Thanks for your patience!
BIMU

Update:  No guarantee it'll be just my videos in the video bar - every time I refreshed the blog - it showed me my videos and some others that might not be deemed appropriate!

"Well It's Not Autism!"

I ranted and rambled a lot in my previous post (it happens when I'm tired!) and if you stuck around long enough to read the whole thing - KUDOS TO YOU.
Thanks so much for all of your wonderful comments, thumbs up of support, sharing of my blog and for just being awesome.
It's not easy to be fairly raw in my feelings - but apparently being tired and waiting for my kids to fall asleep certainly help with that.

ANYWAY, I have some pretty friggin' awesome news.

We had been waiting for over a year for A-Man to get tested for autism (or something) because last year was a nightmare with him.
I get it - he was in the terrible 2's and quickly obtaining a black belt in terrorist 3's (as I lovingly call it) and we were so sure he had some level of autism. Or Asperger's.  Or somethingism because there's no way a neurotypical kid can have such a massive temper tantrum over this and that and everything in between.  And I mean really stupid petty crap!

So a bit about the A-Man:

He's almost 4 and mouthy, and has an attitude galore.

He's also funny, caring and sneaky and clever.

He can speak a bit, he's potty trained and is full of energy.

He's athletic, brave and crafty.

The reasons why we got him checked out were:

• He couldn't seem to get ready when we asked him to and got easily distracted.
• I'm talking about giving him 30-45 minutes warning and continuously reminding him to get dressed every 5-10 minutes.
• Very defiant and he's a screamer.
• We thought he might have ODD (opposite defiance disorder).
• Got seriously upset if we broke routine - like moving away from the bus and he wanted to wave good-bye to it.
• He was held back in his last day-care because he couldn't really speak a lot and the older group didn't have enough staff to handle him.
• The staff in the youngest day-care group (where he was for 2 years and was the oldest child) - believe that his language may have been delayed as well because he was the oldest child the second time round.
• His eating habits were nearly identical of his older brother, V-Man.  Yoghurt, crackers and bread or bananas but no other fruit, no meat and no vegetables.  Plain rice or plain pasta was okay.  No meat or fish.
• But daycare food is great and awesome and he ate 3 portions at his last one and now at the new place, is willing to try new things on bread.  Just like V-Man did.

Well, we had those tests done where he met with an occupational therapist, a school specialist and a speech therapist and a doctor at the end - and they've finally come up with a diagnosis.

"Well, it's not autism!  We believe A-Man has SLI.  SLI means Specific Language Impairment."

The most beautiful sound other than a freshly born newborn crying - rang in my ears.

It's not autism.

I breathed a sigh of relief.

Now, before you jump down my throat bitching me out that:

• "Autistic kids are a blessing."
• "Autistic kids tend to be mega smart and have memories like elephants and can recite anything and everything" - I have yet to see that with the V-Man.  So I'm not expecting my kid to go viral because he can draw something from memory, recite scripts from Shrek, Cars etc.  Not that I have low expectations but I have realistic ones.
• "You're lucky to have a second autistic kid because you've been through the ring once already (and continue to do so) - so you should be used to this."
• "Why are you so happy it's not autism?!  It could be worse!"

I'll tell you why.

Having a second autistic child was seeming more and more likely because A-Man IS a boy and if you don't know the stats - boys are 4:1 more likely than girls to be autistic.

Anyway, having a second one wouldn't be the end of the world- no, but it would probably drive me insane.  My patience is near level 0 everyday it seems and I do get a break from the kids by going to class regularly!

Yes it could definitely be worse than autism - for sure - but I'm just personally glad it isn't and am entitled to feel such.
You don't have to live in our home where it's not a happy household when V-Man is home because the moment he's upset - he's slapping and pinching himself.  By "slapping himself" - I mean if you're not watching him do it - it sounds like an adult is slapping another in a movie.  You don't hear the moans, shouts and the screams.   You don't feel the tension, the pursuit for inner calm or feel the need for peace.

So this is what we now understand about SLI - because honestly we never heard of it prior to this appointment:

1. "Specific language impairment (SLI) is diagnosed when a child's language does not develop normally and the difficulties cannot be accounted for by generally slow development, physical abnormality of the speech apparatus, autism spectrum disorder, acquired brain damage or hearing loss." - internet Google search
2. He's at a comprehension level of a 2-year old or younger - in both Finnish and English.  His English understanding seems to be a bit stronger but still - he'll be 4 this month.
1. He doesn't understand reasoning or instructions regardless if we put the prize first or the prize second.
   Example: "You can get a cookie if you wash your hands first" or "You have to wash your hands THEN you can get a cookie."
3. His speech is the same.  2, max 3 words-long sentences in either language.
4. He will most likely have difficulty with reading and writing when he starts going to school because his vocabulary is limited and he doesn't like when we read to him (as an example he'd rather point out what he knows in pictures and occasionally ask "what's that?").

What can we do as parents of a child with SLI?

• Be more patient than the Pope.  Working on that one daily and trying not to shout so much at him because he simply doesn't understand.
• Provide him a visual way of communicating - like picture boards for example.  Where he can "say" a sentence without having to say it. Where he can learn words and also express how he's feeling or what he wants.

A-Man's Communication Board he uses at day-care and at home for meal times.

• Teach him sign language - which is a bit of an issue because Finnish and English sign language does differ!  However, he does seem to enjoy using these communication boards thankfully!
• He'll be attending speech therapy weekly while at day-care.  And the fantastic part of this is that it's the same speech therapist as V-Man's.  So we have that wonderful connection with her already and adore Mrs. R.

People have been asking how we feel about having a diagnosis and we feel relieved!!!
It's just wonderful knowing that we weren't in fact crazy, it wasn't a phase, the terrible 2's/3's etc. and we weren't wasting the hospital's time (or ours).
And it totally fits the bill.  It explains his meltdowns, his frustrations, his delay in speech, his lack of vocabulary - all of it.

So that's been my week!

And I have big news for you.  I'll be starting a YouTube series soon!!
My classes end this month and I will be dedicating my bit of "vacation" towards blogging a heck of a lot more, promoting myself more here and there and also doing reviews!
And of course those YouTube videos as well! :)
My aim for the YouTube channel is to have some tutorials, reviews, Vlog on the go and see where it takes me. :)

Keep an eye here and I'll keep you updated!
Thanks as always,
xoxo BIMU

Rambling Update

I am a mother of three lovely children.  V-Man (almost 6), A-Man (almost 4) and M-Girl (under 2).
I am also a mother of three children who are screaming, fighting and trying to push me over the edge.
From my seat, there is finally silence (bed time) and I see a noodle cup lid on the floor, dog food un-eaten by anyone (dog or human), a bra, books, a box and a bag and a belt.  I don't dare try and describe my desk because there's so much junk here - it's crazy.
I am the mother who would rather give my kids cookies first thing in the morning because then the hyperness will burn off by supper time.
I look like a hot mess - so to speak.  I have a blueberry stain on my foot, feet drier than any dessert in the world and while a shower would be amazing before I crash in bed - I'm just too lazy right now.  My hair could use a trim, I don't remember the last time I treated myself to a face mask (which is silly because I keep buying the tubes of stuff in the hopes I remember to use them!) and I'm sort of falling asleep typing this.  Cool - huh?!

When I have V-Man at home, who is precious in his own way and at the same time viciously violent to himself - slapping his face hard - I worry about what happens when he gets older.  What happens if this phase doesn't end.
I wonder if I'll be physically strong enough to hold him back from his best friend and his worst enemy - his own body - out of control.  Slapping, pinching, screaming until he gives himself headaches and his ears ringing.
What will I do if he fights me back?  What will we do if we have to leave this wonderful, beautiful and helpful country that we now call home?
I hear of horror stories.  I read other blogs and see videos that people send me every week.
I'm honestly scared crap-less.

I can hope that things will change and we need things to change because I am at the brink of losing my sanity every time.
Every hard slap, every scream and pinch and these lead to bruising.
Trust me - I'm trying meditating, breathing in and out.  Counting quickly and slowly and slower again - just to calm my mind and my temper.
I've tried giving V-Man other things to do and the little ones something else for them to do, while we ride out these little (but feel extremely massive in the moment) stormy tantrums.
I've tried to give him something to hold- something distracting and lovely and full of texture (but not too much!) and instead of it becoming an educational toy or distraction - it becomes a weapon.

"Shit - what was I thinking?  What were YOU thinking? Why can't you just STOP and CALM DOWN?!"
I don't know if I'm screaming, saying this out loud or just all of it in my head.
The tears threaten to stream down and I bite the inside of my cheeks hard if we're in public.  It gives me something to do and focus on.
If I'm at home, I yell.  I cry and sob because I cannot stop feeling like such a horrible mother.

A parent should be able to protect their kids - put the cleaning products up high and out of reach, turn the pot and pan handles away from little fingers that can just reach, make sure they know to hold hands and not run out in the road.

But I'm failing horribly.  So I feel - based on the bruises on V-Man's face, the ones on his chest and the chipped front tooth from grinding his teeth like they work at a local flour mill.

I feel responsible that I cannot help with the prevention of bruises that I'm sure look much worse to an outsider.  A stranger.  Someone not in my shoes - not even in my socks.
I am trying and do try, and you're right - "You probably shouldn't have had more kids if this first one was going to be such a handful!"
I've thought of that several times and if I had the ability to change things - I probably would.  But then again, maybe I wouldn't.

I don't have a six-pack - not even close.  I have a chubby muffin top/mama pouch - but I'm also one of those naughty stress eaters.  I'm the one walking super fast for a Steakhouse Meal at Burger King plus mozzarella sticks - depending on the day.
I have dry skin like a snake and heels like a grandma.  I can't tell you the last time I wore a full face of make-up because that simply doesn't exist in my schedule - seriously probably about 9 years ago.
But hey it was date night tonight and I managed to wipe my eye lids with eye liner.  That has to count for something! :)

But I'm learning.  I'm trying to take an extra ten seconds after my 5-minutes shower to toss on some moisturizer.  Winter is coming you know.
I'm getting stronger mentally by taking mini time-outs for myself.  If I cannot handle the kids - I put myself in the bedroom and bury my head and cry and get that done and over with.
If I'm overwhelmed and don't feel like watching a show immediately once the kids are asleep - I take a breather and know that tomorrow could be a better day for all of us.
I'm learning to let it go and just come to terms with the fact that my kids love acting out the domino effect to ensure everyone is screaming and/or crying at the same time.  Especially when my husband isn't home.
I do knit and crochet and have been too tired to even do that.
But I'm a champ at pinning things on Pinterest on my phone - for you know, when I'm a grandma and need to make stuff for the grandkids!

I willingly admit that I was becoming 50% Momster and 50% Mom.  Or is it 50% Mom and 50% Ster?
A-Man's been getting tested this past week to see if he's on the Autism Spectrum whatsoever.
Tomorrow's the final day and hopefully we'll have a diagnosis.
"It's because your first kid has autism - A-Man is otherwise normal and just going through a phrase..." is what you're thinking.
No.  It's more than that.  It's not being able to rationalize with him or reason whatsoever.  It's his inability to say a proper sentence in either language.  It's the constant guessing and tip-toeing.
It's his tantrums and his moods that have him shut down entirely and block people out to the point he's mute - but if you speak to A-Man - he'll scream as if he's being buried alive.
We have hope though - thanks to communication boards.  (Will blog separately about that - hopefully soon.)

And where's M-Girl and Loki in all of this?
M-Girl now hits herself when she's mad.  She still screams and she bites those that attempt to "destroy her soul and happiness" "steal her stuff".  But she hits herself.
How can I teach a child to love and care for themselves when the older role model slaps himself on a regular basis across his face?
Other that that - she's lovely.  She's obsessed with skin to skin contact and will rubs my ears while she falls asleep.  Strokes my face or shoves her toes into my face for me to sniff and shout "YUCK!" repeatedly.  Or sometimes, she just wants to be held and I cherish that too.

And Loki, despite being showered with weekly treats - is still lonely and depressed.
We've tried Youtube videos for when we're out and new bones and toys and they're only temporary band-aids.
However!  I recently bought a slimmed down fanny pack and will be starting jogging with him.  Mostly because I'm tired of getting asked if I'm pregnant and also because it turns out this "slimmed down fanny pack" as I call it - turned out to be a jogging belt for wearing while - jogging - with your dog!
Just need to find the right sneakers and we'll be set.  Then perhaps I can sleep the whole night, and finally get some real rest.

My kids don't eat veggies and fruit everyday but they do eat.  My home will never, ever be shown on a magazine cover - but we're happy and they're healthy and that's good enough.
As the saying goes, "Cleaning with children living with you is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos" - absolutely pointless and I've come to appreciate and fully live my life by this motto! :)

Anyway, this is a slightly poetic-off-the-top-of-my-head update on what's going on lately.
I'm now going to crash for the night!
I swear I'll write a new blog post soon - a few of them.  But it's been busy with class, all the stuff I wrote above and trying to apply for a cooking school here (and it's in Finnish!)!
Good night!
BIMU

"What Are You?" & A Book Review!

What do you think when someone asks you, "What are you?  Where are you from?  But no really, what ARE you?"

Surprisingly this is a question I get fairly regularly.

I know what you're thinking, "In this day and age?  No way."

Please, trust me on this one.  I get looks of disbelief because I look Asian - I have the black straight hair, the short frame (some say "vertically challenged") and the accent of a typical North American.

Here's how my conversations usually go:

"Hi, where are you from?"
"Canada."
"Oh Canada...really?  So you were ...born there - you weren't brought over?"
"Yes I was born there."
"Okay - but where are you really from?  Because you look Asian!  I mean what are you?"

I am at this point smiling as politely as I can and deep inside just feel frustrated.
Here's what I really want to ask people who ask me such questions:

• I came from a uterus - what about you?
• I do know I look Asian thanks...I mean had you not told me - I would have had no idea. (I say this in my mind very sarcastically with a dose of humour.)

I try to not be offended by those questions but I just wished more people would believe me. 

When I dig my heels in and continue to say, "I swear - I'm Canadian and not just because my husband is one too" - I still get doubtful looks.

Here's some "I don't match my stereotype background"-friendly questions/things to try instead:

• "Oh cool.  What part of __________ are you from?"
• "Where are your parents from?"
• "What is your culture?"
• "Want to go grab a pizza?"  (Just kidding - no wait.  Who turns down pizza?!)

Funny story for you:

We were in the countryside visiting my in-law's and one of my cousin in-laws was visiting and we're standing about the kitchen chit chatting and here's how that conversation went...

"Hey - you speak English really well."

"What?" - me stunned.

"Youuuuuu *finger point*....speak *open and close motion with the hand*....English....well *thumbs up*"

I stood there for awhile with our family members and just thought what the heck was going on in this kid's mind.  He was about 19 and it wasn't the first time we've met.

"Dude - I'm born here." was the politest and softest hit to his ego I think he could handle.

His face slowly bloomed red, he spat out apologies and we all had a good chuckle after that.

So anyway, back to why I'm writing this post eh?

Lately I've been mistaken for a man.  I don't look like one, I don't sound like one, however - my name, Dominique - being the feminine form of "Dominic"- gets mistaken by one for the other regularly.  That's fine - I think it's hilarious when I show up for something second-hand and the person thinks it'd odd I know what Dominic is going to buy.

I guess now I'm trying to appreciate the Asian part and am trying to embrace that cultural part of me but I don't know how.

I look Asian, I don't have to shave my legs and I don't have very hairy arms (okay - zip all) and I can chow down on Dim Sum with chop sticks with the best of 'em.

But inside I've always felt like a trapped little blonde girl.  Which probably explains why I have all those silly little blonde moments...yup.

I've been to China and Hong Kong twice in my life and seriously got excited when I saw a white person.  Never mind another ethnicity than Asian.

Have you ever tried crossing the street in China?  NOBODY stops for you unless you don't look Asian. Unfortunately I blend in quite well and had a wicked hard time making my way across the road.
Non-Asian = Tourist attraction - don't be offended if you get asked to have your photo taken.

Anyway, back on track (sorry!) I've recently connected with my biological maternal side of the family and it's hard.
They've been quite welcoming but we have a small problem some of us.

COMMUNICATION.

Many of them speak Mandarin and I can't even introduce myself in Mandarin.  Wee bit of an issue.

I am in touch with some that speak English but it is tricky because of time zones!

So I was going to sign up for a Chinese language course but that's a bust because I'm enrolled into Finnish language courses and psychology (in Finnish nonetheless) and I'd feel bad if the hubster had to take the kids on 3 nights in a row with minimal assistance...and we all know bedtime is protest time.

So what I did do was buy from Book Depository - Chineasy. (Affiliate link).

I have it on my computer desk on top of the pile of mess that's also here...I'm learning a lot - although I have yet to practice anything!
I love  the illustrations that go with each character and symbols and it does make things possible to remember!
So if you're looking at studying basic Chinese and have a hard time remembering things - Chineasy may be the way to go! :)
Here's a quick video - in fact, a TED one - featuring the author Shaolan.

While this is a very short book review (especially since I haven't finished reading it - that'll take some time as with most language skills bookss!) - I'm quite pleased so far and can strongly recommend it.

I had been thinking about this book for over a year!! I can't wait until the Chineasy app comes out too.

I first saw it on Facebook - someone shared it or perhaps it was the Book Depository Facebook Page (as a random popular book) and those images displayed in a quick video I watched had stuck in my brain for a long time.

So clearly it was a sign right?

Okay before I get sidetracked - yet again - I'm hoping that this book and some hands on practice with a Chinese friend (I need to make some and I genuinely CANNOT wait to meet them face to face and have them doubt their eye sight...) will give me the skills I need to communicate the basics with extended biological family members.

Maybe and hopefully, before I'm 40 I can accept that in fact - 50% of my DNA is Chinese and 50% is Malaysian-Chinese (seriously I don't know the difference - working on that) and share and encourage this side of my culture to my own children.

Have a good weekend!
BIMU 

A Side of Autism: New Eatery

I'm really not kidding when I say that "fine dining" with the V-Man is Chinese food take-out at home (as delivery options are mighty slim in our city), McDonald's or Hesburger.
Or if we're super lucky - a pizza buffet.
Point being - fast and immediate eating options preferred.

Last week I took V-Man on a "Mommy and me" lunch date and tried Subway.  I more or less got a foot-long of whatever I normally get (Subway Melt - hold the onions and tomatoes) and hoped for the best.
By "hope for the best", I hope for the following things:

• He sits still.
• He eats the sub.
• He doesn't throw it on the floor.
• He doesn't hate it.
• He doesn't run away repeatedly with sub in hand and making a mess all over the place.
• He doesn't smack his head out of impatience for having to wait in line for food.
• *Update (forgot to write this earlier): TEXTURE.  The toasted hot bun, the melted runny cheese, the cold meat and veggies, the crisp, the chewy - all of it - could be extremely overwhelming for someone on the spectrum or with a sensitive mouth!
• He doesn't scream.

V-Man handled the short line up (3 people ahead of us - short for me, long for him) and we sat down to eat and I think the hardest thing for him was to be able to hold the sub.  Remember - he's only 5 - so his hands aren't fully grown yet :D.

He sniffed it.  A Subway Melt with honey mustard and pepper on a honey and oat bread.

I'm glad to say this was a huge success and we've been back since and he ate every bite (of his half and then some of mine and the chips and then another rice cake and a granola bar while waiting for the bus after a quick twenty minutes grocery shopping trip).

Although the second time, he got a mouthful of jalapeno pepper and wasn't too pleased.  I held my breath and he waited for me to empty out those peppers and then he continued to chow down.
WHEW!

It's the little things and while there are some people who insist on staring at V-Man as he hops about and flaps his hands about making odd sounds - we still manage to have a nice time together.

So despite the scandal that Subway is facing regarding Subway Jared - I'm happy to have found a new place to eat that doesn't involve piles of grease and me feeling oh so guilty afterward. 

BIMU

PS Me bitching and complaining about the stares and whispers we get in public when spreading good ol' fashioned autism awareness is for another time. :)
But if you do see someone who is acting a bit odd and out of sorts (and they don't reek of booze), I recommend asking their caregiver what's going on or even better - if you can help.

Getting My Dog Home & I Couldn't Make It Up Things

This horrible day of events happened last week and finally I have some time to post it!
Remember how I said that we got Blue cremated?
Well, I finally got the text message saying he was ready for pick up.
You know what nobody has told me (and possibly never told you-so here it is):

It's really frigging difficult to go back to the vet's to pick up your pet in an urn. It was borderline traumatizing in fact!!
I approached the vet office doors and started to have a hard time breathing. I had A-Man with me and he was just amazed at the large automatic doors and the golden retriever that walked in for his checkup. He understood we were getting Blue to bring him home but he seriously thought Blue was still in a car somewhere. (We don't have one.)
When the nurse handed me the box- I took a deep breath. I saw his name on the sticker label and sobbed. She petted me on the shoulder and said her condolences and swiftly left so I could show A-Man that somehow- there is the remains of a 38 kilos dog in a box in a box.
He asked if it was Loki. Good grief.

Anyway I'm glad the urn was packed well inside a box because then I had to get a sausage order that weighed quite a bit.
On the way home, as I'm still in a bit of shock- A-Man decided to just be a huge not-gonna-listen-to-you jerk (aka a toddler with a major attitude).
He wouldn't listen. He wouldn't walk. He was about to break his sister's lemur by swinging the stuffed toy by its tail. A stitch had popped already and if you're just reading my blog now- sewing ain't my thang.
I finally managed to get him home with a boxed urn under one arm, and 7kg of sausages under my other arm...he was kicking and screaming and I dragged /nudged him all the way home.

Then he continued to scream in the hall that could wake the dead and I snapped.
As soon as we closed the door I yelled. Which is my preferred method of releasing anger and typical. I admit this.
What isn't- is me swinging my fist with the aim of punching the closet door.
And because karma was making her rounds or because I had 0 reflexes to stop- A-Man jumped up and my fist connected with his head.
I cried, he cried, I was shaking as I was sure I fractured something in my knuckles- serves me right...yep I know!
And you would think that punching your kid in the head by accident would be the end of bad and crappy things to happen-right?
Wrong.

I proceeded to cover my knuckles with tiger balm (Chinese polysporin is what I call it) and A-Man wanted some for his head. And his hand too-just like me.
Less than five minutes later he's screaming again because he rubbed his eyes. And got tiger balm in his eyes.
While I'm trying to unpack the urn, I'm trying to rinse his eyes out and M-Girl just shoved the box off the stool I had it on in the bathroom.
Yup. Thankfully it was packed really well.

An hour later, we heard V-Man coughing and it turned out he was in my backpack and had taken a gel capsule pill of ibuprofen.
I kid you not. Thankfully it was only 400mg and my friend said because of his size and he only had one- he'll be okay.
So we just gave him a lot of water with the hopes he'll be okay.

You are hoping I'm done right? Yeah me too.
Well all was fine when we went to bed until 4:30 this morning when I stretched and lightly nudged what I thought was Loki.
I rolled over and heard a loud thump and the insta-scream of M-Girl.
You've got to be freaking kidding me.

I've since seen a doctor and had a couple X-rays taken and my bones are fine. My muscles in between and knuckles are sprained but nothing I can really do about that.

So if you're having a crappy day like I was- just remember: It can always be worse.
BIMU