Reflecting on 2016

I have to warn you that this post is going to be sprinkled with curse words.  SO if that's not your thing - just cross your eyes as you skip along them.

2016 is coming to an end and let me tell you - it fucking sucked.
Sure - I decided that turning 30 - this would be the year of the "Fuck it".
I applied that to most of my year I have to say.

And now I'm going to push forward and end this year off with a bang.

I haven't slept in (anything past 7am) in months.  I've been having crappy quality sleep every.  Single.  Night.

Which says something because I'm spending 40% of my time at home and 40% of my time at another person's home dog-sitting for them (because their dog doesn't get along with Milo) and 50% of my time on a bus between the two (yeah I know - the math doesn't add up) and you would think I would get a ton of good, solid, melt those saggy bags under my eyes away sleep - right?!
Hell no.

My body is still programmed to wake up at whoever gives a crap-o'clock (aka between 2-6am repeatedly) and I am not a coffee drinker.

I had this conversation with our guests last night around the dinner table for Christmas last night - I don't know what's worse:

• Being so tired I can barely function. 

or

• Riding an excellent caffeine (Pepsi preferably) and sugar high and then crashing horribly.

Either option demands I take a nap (none of this "power naps" crap either!) that isn't interrupted and ends with me in tears typically.

These past 3 days - have been a fucking mess.

It doesn't matter how often we drag the kids out hiking with us and the dogs - and it's been an absolute sheet of ice outside (until this morning - yay snow!) - they've protested every nap oppourtunity and sleeping in?!

HA HA HA.

A-Man has been waking up around 4:30-5:00 am - every single freaking day.  Of course playing by oneself isn't satisfying enough - he insists on waking his sister up and she insists on waking V-Man up - who doesn't nap at all.

So let's recap shall we?

School: I did a work practice and while stumbling through it all - it was fun and I'm going to a new work practice across the street from my son's day-care.  So I can't complain about that!

When I did return to school, I was placed with a different group that just started in August.  I took this on as a challenge and an oppourtunity to practice more Finnish.  I get along with most of the group but there are a few - they're incredibly special and push my nerves at every oppourtunity.

Of course, being a mom of 2 special needs child (one moreso than the other) - you would think I would have endless patience for practical strangers that have "something".  

The answer is nope.  And trust me, I've questioned every thing I've said or done that may not be considered 100% super nice.  I'm not saying I beat them with a shovel or tried to knock them over with a pot of soup.  

There were times where my patience was tested with endless Facebook friendship requests and an overabundance of personal questions - or silent observations of reading my text messages over my shoulder...so I just shut down around them to save my sanity.

Maybe it's selfish of me to say that I go to school to get away from my life at home which involves special needs and so I can try to enjoy my time away from home - but it's true.

Things like that.

However, I'll be off to my work practice and can't wait to get lost in a mess of a U-shaped kitchen, not knowing anyone and going under the assumption that nobody speaks or understands English.

I was supposed to practice more Finnish this holiday break but with the unexpected hate relationship between Milo and the guest dog - that kind of went out the window...

Christmas: 
Milo turned 6 on Christmas Day and celebrated by pulling his back leg.

I kept it simple for gifts this year.  Sugar scrubs for all of the teachers.  I skipped the chance to work and sell handicrafts at a Christmas market because I was just simply exhausted.

For friends - pictures of the kids and Christmas bark (melted triple chocolate and sprinkled with toppings and chilled).

I was even psycho enough to think I would get Christmas cards made and ready and on time.  Silly me - I started on the 15th of December. HA.

Needless to say, they're not done or filled or mailed out.

I kept it SO simple - I didn't even put up the window sticker Christmas tree!  Mostly because I couldn't find it.

My dishwasher was perhaps worked too hard and despite regularly deep cleaning it - it crashed on me.  There was a water overflow onto the kitchen floor.  Then a friend popped in with her husband and it worked!
And then it died again and the pump wouldn't push water in after a round.

I'm trying to think positively in the sense that while I'm back to hand-washing dishes - I now have a very suitable two level drying rack beside me...

Dinner went great and the kids were all hyped up on being around each other - that M-Girl opted to refuse a diaper for a solid 25-fucking screechworthy minutes.  It was bed time and she's not 100% potty-trained...so diapers are still necessary for our mattresses and her.

Literally hanging off the bathroom door handle (it was locked) and screaming like a banshee.

I'm honestly surprised she didn't barf.

Today is Boxing Day and I had the pleasure of falling asleep last night while watching Suicide Squad by 11:30pm with the PIC (Partner in Crime - "Hubster" is a real pain in the ass to type repeatedly with auto-correct fixing things up and calling him a "Hipster" ;) ) sitting beside me and I can't tell you what happened in the movie because I passed out after twenty minutes.

I was awoken to "MOMMY - V-MAN SPILLED JUICE!"

That gets me to haul ass pretty fast because we have old wooden floors that soak up anything and everything.

Luckily it was in the kitchen.

Along with about 6 chocolate bars that I needed to finish making gifts for people we were going to see before the New Year.

Oh and M&Ms...and about 3 cups of apple juice all over the fucking floor that PIC just washed yesterday.

Do you see red? I did..

It got to the point this morning - I was losing my voice from screaming so bloody much.

I've been crying for the past 3 days because of my kids.

Following that Willy Wonka display on my floor - I tried to take Loki and the guest dog back to his home - so then there's some calmness in the household.

Well, I offered to take the little two with me and we missed the bus.

WHY?  Because they refused to listen.  They didn't get dressed and decided to jump around and play and dick around plenty.

On our way to the bus stop - there was a slim chance we could still catch it - but no.

A-Man and M-Girl had to stop every two feet to grab fresh snow to eat, knock snow off of bushes and so on.

I know - they're just kids.  I'm the adult.

I can't and shouldn't have the same expectations of them as I would a friend my age.

But when I'm running on little sleep, regularly being told "NO"/screamed at and so on - I begin to test what sanity I have left and therefor question myself as a motherhood.

That certainly was the case today.

I had a hundred thoughts fly through my mind at warp speed and I can confidently write here that I absolutely hated my kids for the better part of today.

Not "hate" to the point you'll read about me murdering them on the front page of the Finnish newspapers!

But they were being awful little shits and I just could not deal with it all.

Between the dishwasher breaking down, the regular screaming and 2/3 male dogs testing each other and trying to rip each other's throats off occasionally - I'm pretty fucking worn out.

Then finding out a family member had a mini stroke last summer - while guests were over and while eating dinner...and nobody felt like telling us - I mean, to each their own...but still.

I'm hoping your holidays were WAY better than mine!

I know it can always - ALWAYS be worse...3 Christmases ago - we had a massive hole in our bathroom sink...so I'm trying to be feeling "blessed" and happy and thankful.

I'm just - having a shitty day and had to get it all out here.  And I clearly need to boost my alcohol consumption and tolerance levels...

Thanks for reading and happy holidays to you and yours. 

<3

BIMU

Trending: BuJo

Yeah I had no idea what a BuJo was until today.
BuJo is short for "Bullet Journal".

Tonight I went to have dinner at my friend's place and I noticed the pile of post-its alongside her fridge had dropped from a colourful neon rainbow down to 2. 
2 Post-its and a notebook nearby.  I didn't inquire about it mostly because my head was starting to throb thanks to our kids having a blast (aka screaming and running and banging everything loud together possible).

So I looked it up after she asked me if I heard of "a bullet journal".

The first thing my friend did was show me hers - I didn't read it in detail as I think of a journal as a very personal object.  That and it was probably written in Finnish.
Anyway, the next thing is that she warned me, "Dominique - don't look it up on Pinterest."

So, naturally,  I had to look it up on Pinterest!
Then I started saving/pinning and saving/pinning and saving/pinning some more ideas onto my own board for Bullet Journalling.

So, it was easy for me to find a notebook that was 99.99% blank.
The only thing I'm using from the original BJ (oh that's why they call it "BuJo"...ha!) is the INDEX and the FUTURE LOG.
I have no intention of using this journal as an agenda/daily planner because I have one.  I buy one by Sandra Boyton every year and love it.
I don't trust myself to sync stuff to my phone and never mind the fact that my ability to make sure the dates and times are correct have failed miserably on multiple accounts!

I'm an obsessed "list-maker" person.
I'm also one of those people that can't shut their brains off.  I'm constantly thinking of something - whether it be typical "Mom-life" related things or it's completely random and useless/stupid junk - my brain just doesn't shut off.
Every night, I find myself usually falling asleep with the lights on and mid (texting) conversation with a friend and my mind going 100 km/miles (your choice) a minute.  It's why I've been trying to go to the gym at night when the kids are asleep - it exhausts me more and in the gym - I am focused.
During the day time - I'm usually in class but at the same time, if it's slow enough - I am able to get a lot of thinking and planning done.

So this journal method of having an index and my lists of random things - will help me focus on 1 thing at a time - even if temporarily.
I won't do my grocery lists or bills to pay - every day things in the book - no.

I also won't be writing long sad crappy posts about feeling super bad etc.  I've found that I tend to buy a new journal because I love stationary and a new pen to go with it - and after a couple posts - I never go back to it.
I've found myself angry and hurt all over again - and maintaining a journal didn't continue to be fun once I purchased a new notebook and pen.

Some ideas of what I have in my book (I'll be sure to do a future post once the pages look not so bare!):

• Birthdays of my nearest and dearest!
• My Happy List
• I want to learn...
• Self-Care (Mind Body Soul)
• A-Z About Me (This will be funny to see how it changes every year or every time I create a new journal)
• 2016 Memories
• 2017 New Year Resolutions
• 2017 New Year Resolution Recipes! (Then I can blog about them here!)
• Books read in 2017
• My bucket list
• Daily/weekly/monthly
• Positive shit the kids did
• OMFG Shit the kids did
• Movies watched in 2017
• Craft Projects in 2017
• Quotes
• Becoming the BEST version of myself

I'm still working on this list to fill in my journal.  

However, I'm thrilled with the start of it.

The way this Bu Jo is working for me - reminds me quickly of those "mindfulness books/journals" I've seen in the magazine section of the grocery stores.

The kind of notebooks where everything is printed out for you and you just need to fill in the blanks or jot down your ideas.

What I like about this - is that it's tailored to what I want, how I want it and I will try my hardest to not spaz out over every tiny screw up as I scribble in it.  Especially since I prefer writing in pen!

I also love that these topics that I've listed - are things that I am truly interested in writing about and I can always add to something later on - as long as I've marked it for myself in the index.

I am trying to make this journal as positive as possible - because being a busy mom of 3 and a student - life can get hectic.  I do crash and burn occasionally and I'm hoping that this will help to prevent it.

I love that there isn't (as of yet) an app for Bullet Journalling because with pen and paper - I have to focus and it gives my eyes a break.  It gives me a chance to be creative - although, I assure you - my pages won't be nearly as fancy-pants as some of the amazing artwork I'm seeing on Pinterest!

I just simply don't have the time to make my pages super fancy! :D

I applaud those that are creative and those that carry a journal!

Let me know if you jump on the BuJo Junkies train! ;)
BIMU

NY Resolution Recipe #18: Cinnamon Buns With a Twist!

Okay, so I still have a few weeks to publish another 34 recipes in order to complete my NY Resolutions here!

So, the idea of these cinnamon buns is just in design!
Use your favourite recipe for cinnamon bun making and have a go with trying them in this shape!
(I made these in school and Finnish sweets almost always seem to have cardamom in their dough and in this particular recipe - it was a cardamom-based filling...so then I snuck in cinnamon!)

This is the recipe I use for the dough using my bread machine.

Step 1: roll your dough out into a rectangle about ½ inch thick.

          

Step 2: Spread your filling generously!

Step 3: Fold your dough - it'll stretch!

Step 4: Cut strips 

Step 5: Twist each strip tightly together.

Step 6:  Twist it on itself and tuck in the end to secure the base from coming undone.

Step 7: Place on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper with some space in between and bake accordingly.

Step 8: ENJOY!

:)
BIMU

A Side of Autism: Lack of Decor

The holidays are quickly approaching and you would never know looking in our household.

Every year since V-Man was 2, I have drawn a tree on the glass window of the balcony door or balcony window with snowflakes, an angel and lights etc.

Why? I honestly cannot be bothered to go buy a real tree and have to deal with the possibility of allergies (I don't think I have any - but I don't want to find out 20€+ later), watering it, needles everywhere and the inevitable - kids yanking it down and breaking ornaments or lights in their mouths etc.
As for plastic or fake trees - they're lovely and all - but can still be knocked down repeatedly.

It's hard to get into the spirit of the holidays I suppose - but I rely on the fresh snow outside and my sanity being rather calm and happy because I don't have to keep an extra set of ears/eyes/hands on the kids while I try to do anything and everything.
(Not saying the Hubster doesn't help - he totally does!!  I just mean if he happens to be in the bathroom or out with the dogs - then it's a temporary solo parenting job.)

That and I'm sure my neighbourhood appreciates me not yelling my head off every thirty seconds - if we did have a proper any kind of fake/real tree/decorations for the kids to tear down repeatedly.

However, this year - there's a new shop downtown (the same place where I got his YES and NO buttons) and they have some cute tree alternatives.
There is a little glass Christmas tree that I am thinking of getting and putting out ONLY on Christmas Day morning for present opening.

Of course we have stockings for the kiddos and that's that.
We will probably have our friends over for Christmas dinner again, as we have had in the past - and that's always super fun!  We all end up with super sore tummies from eating so much but that's the joy of the holidays for me.

We do try and catch up with family and friends back in Canada - but of course, Skype usually crashes those days because everyone is trying to reach back home.

As for the kids:

V-Man doesn't get Christmas - as far as we can tell.  He doesn't care about the Santa walking around the grocery store or at the Christmas markets (because he refuses to go to those) and I'm not sure if we will wrap presents this year or just put them in individual big boxes (or reusable shopping bags) for the kids to haul out.

I kind of feel bad wasting wrapping paper and tape...although, I do love wrapping gifts! HA!

A-Man remembers Christmas.  He talked about it for around a week after last year's and this year he has already asked about it!!

M-Girl kind of tags along with whatever A-Man says and whether or not she "gets it" - we shall find out.  She mimics him a lot and repeats things he says as well.  So it's kind of difficult to tell if she has her own true and real opinions yet or if they're just copied off of a particular big brother.

I guess the biggest adjustment for the holiday season is no day-care.  We could put the kids in one but then we would have to do a lot of running about and it's nice to have the kids home and try to remember to NOT nap the whole break (I mean me).

I guess the point of this lengthy post is:

• Don't sweat the small or big stuff.  Trust me - two years ago,  the Hubster went and broke the bathroom sink (massive chunk out of it) 5 minutes before our guests walked into the door.  6 adults and 5 kids...and no usable bathroom sink....and of course my kitchen sink was overflowing with pots and pans!
• It can always be worse.  It's my go-to philosophy.  Kids are hyped up on sugar?  Kids won't sleep because of Santa coming?  It's okay - they make wine for a reason.
• Sleep when you can.  I get you - trust me.  My kids have been waking up for the past few MONTHS between 4:30-6am (including summer holidays).  
• It's almost over.  I love the holiday season as much as the next person - and while I look forward to it - I also look forward to it being over too!

The main thing is that everyone has a safe and happy (as possible) holiday season.

Cheers!
BIMU

Ciao Birthday Parties - An Update!

So, it's been ages - sorry and all that jazz.

I've been swamped with my work practice (done that in October) and now back in school and slightly bored out of my mind!

Bear in mind I was cooking and prepping food for minimum 1500 people - and now, 100.

So, it's a massive change in pace and I'm back in school and trying to survive studying in Finnish!

Kids are all doing great and are all alive!

V-Man and A-Man recently had birthdays (7 and 5) and while I love throwing a birthday party for the two of them (since their birthdays are 2 weeks apart) - I decided not to this year.
Why?

• Time - I simply didn't have time to book a place, grocery shop for the party and plan.
• Money - Trying to save some as much as possible because we have no idea where we will be in the new year.
• Stuff - While we appreciate gifts from our friends for the kids - because we don't know where we will be - we didn't want to have extra things to pack or unfortunately, have to give away!

So instead of a party this year - we agreed to take the boys on their big day to Toys R Us and let them pick one toy.

Then went out for dinner of their choosing and then ice-cream.

I also baked a cake at home for us to enjoy.

This was most effective and simple.

The boys seem to have a good time and I'll be baking V-Man's birthday cake today!

At first I felt bad for not having a party because for us - it was a great way to see all of our friends in one spot (that wasn't our home) and socialize.

Then I just realized it wasn't worth the stress and time/money to do all of it.

Nothing against our friends!!

We just have been swamped with job applications everywhere, school and so on.  

The stress levels in the household have caused my cycles to go psycho and I'm finding myself having "shark week" every 2-3 weeks instead of once a month like a normal woman!

And I found that having a little less stress to be a good thing! :)  Now if only my body would agree and back off!

I've opted to go to the gym at night now once the kids are asleep - I've been having problems sleeping and found that it helps me to sleep better and clears my head from the entire day.

As opposed to just exercising after school and being mentally exhausted by the time the kids go to bed.

Until next time!  Which should be relatively soon as I have to do a lot of recipe writing for the New Year Resolutions...and I have an autism-related post to write up too!

BIMU

NY Resolution Recipe 17: Death By Chocolate Cookies!

I had a request for the recipe for my Death By Chocolate Cookies - so finally, I am sitting down and doing it! (Apologies it's been 3 weeks?!)

*Warning: I'm not responsible for how many you eat and if you actually die from loving these/eating these cookies! :D*

What you need (all measurements are approximate as I use a 0.4dl coffee mug to measure ingredients!):

• 1 bar of white chocolate chopped in chunks (200g)
• 1 bar of milk chocolate chopped in chunks (200g)
• 1 bar of dark chocolate chopped in chunks (200g)
• ½ Cup of butter (room temperature)
• ½ Cup of brown sugar (soft)
• 1/4 Cup of white sugar
• 2 large eggs
• 1 tsp of vanilla extract
• 1½-2 Cups of all purpose white flour 
• 2 heaping tablespoons of cocoa powder
• 1 tsp of baking powder

What to do:

• Pre-heat oven to 175*C.
• Line baking pan with parchment paper or silicone mat.
• Beat butter and sugars until smooth with an electric mixer.
• Add eggs and vanilla extract and mix.
• Add flour, baking powder and cocoa powder and mix until dough is soft and well combined.
• Stir in all chunks of chocolate until everything looks chocolate-y and delicious.
• Drop cookie dough by the spoonful - making sure you leave an inch or so between.
• Bake for 12 minutes and allow to cool because you know - melted chocolate hurts and burns! :P

Makes approximately 16 cookies.

Enjoy!
BIMU

A New Friend & A-Man's Assessment

Today, I made a friend.
For anyone who lives abroad, making friends can be tricky.
More so, for anyone who has a special needs or slightly different kind of kid - making friends is rare.
And by "friends", I mean people who truly get where you're coming from because they've been in your shoes before.

If you're wondering why I haven't been blogging lately - I've been swamped.  Just genuinely exhausted yet having a blast with my work practice at the same time.
It's a full-time 9 weeks work practice at a college campus where we prep food for the students and staff (over 1500 people on any given week day), bake and cook food to sell to the public in the connected student shop and also handle catering orders!

Last week, was a rough one as I spent most of my week at the children's neurological clinic getting A-Man assessed.
He was assessed last October for two days and was given the temporary diagnosis of SLI (Specific Language Impairment).

This round was a 4-days long assessment ending with a doctor's appointment and the doctor telling us that she cannot offer a proper diagnosis for A-Man.

However, what we originally suspected - that A-Man is doing awesome because his speech is getting better and he's trying really hard to pronounce words and so on - turns out that he has more than a language issue.

He now has a visual issue as well.

By "visual", I mean the psychologist and speech and occupational therapists tried to give him something to mimic or imitate from a picture and he couldn't or didn't do very well for a child his age.
Like a jigsaw puzzle - look at the photo and try to build it.
Like special blocks where you look at the picture and have to make the same shape or design with them.
Like whenever his sleeves or pant legs are inside out and he refuses to fix it himself...and I feel horrible because I was trying to get him to do it himself...and it turns out he simply couldn't figure it out...and wasn't being lazy!

They've listed his speech and comprehension to be at less than half his age.  He'll be 5 this autumn and he was listed as about a 2-year old in various sections.

They don't suspect it's autism and the doctor explained that they believe when he doesn't listen, despite repeating his name or instructions, or trying to get his attention multiple times - it's just that simply his brain is exhausted.
It just blocks us out and takes a rest pretty much.
Because he has to spend so much brain energy on translating things in his head or trying to figure it out - it's overwhelming and poof.  His mind takes a nap.

As you can imagine, Hubster and I were floored and I am impressed that I held off my tears of frustration and self hate until I got home.
To top it off, this appointment was yesterday - my 1-year death-versary of my dog, Blue...so I was a hot mess anyway.

We are trying to take it a step at a time but he will not be assessed again for another 18-months to see if another year or so will give his body and brain time to catch up, since he's made huge leaps and bounds the past year with his own speech.
Of course, it is not perfect and there are many sounds he simply cannot pronounce - but we've been having less fights for the most part because he's able to express what he wants.

This is also another reason why they can't give him a proper assessment, because his English was so much better than his Finnish and the tests were conducted in Finnish (and some English tossed in) and because he's still quite young to get an official diagnosis.

So to round that chunk of a blog post off, he will be getting occupational therapy to help build his visual skills and continue with speech therapy.
He will be starting pre-school as soon as possible, and starting school earlier - so this way he can hopefully graduate at the same time as his peers his age.

Onto happier news!!

I have a new friend!
She's this lovely little Chinese lady in my work practice and after speaking to the second Chinese lady (also lovely) about my kids - found out that first little Chinese lady has a child on the spectrum too.  I think more Asperger's but still!
And he's 15.

We were making potato bread (mashed potatoes, eggs and flour then roll/flatten, pierce with a fork and bake) and after some quick Chinese between the two, the little one asked me if my son was autistic.
I smiled and said yes and described the V-Man to her and her eyes are pretty wide already but they got bigger and her smile lit the room.

It's then that we had a connection.  A bond that only two people can have after having gone to the special needs trenches and back.
And then I realized that she probably doesn't have friends with a special needs kid like hers - so that made it extra special.  She began to whoop and jump up and down and high-five me like crazy, as we exchanged some stories in Finnish quickly.

I love my friends, I really do and I've gotten pickier over who I'm friends with to be honest.
But my friends that truly know what it's like to care for a kid that's not part of the neurotypical scale - whether it's their own or part of their job - they're an extra special bunch and they're the kind of friends that no matter where you are, you're there for each other.

It's just wonderful to have one more friend here that gets it.
They get the exhaustion, the frustration, the screams and tears and the fears and nightmares of raising a kid like the V-Man (and A-Man).
They don't judge, they actually want you to visit with your family and they're just as relieved to know they're not alone.

Today, I made a friend.

BIMU

BIMU Reviews: PokéMom

I admit it - I was very hesitant to download "Pokémon Go"- the latest viral psycho trend of running around with your phone or tablet (with a good internet connection) to catch imaginary virtual monsters.

First of all - it wasn't available in Finland until 3 days ago.
Then there was the fear of hackers targeting Android phones, even though I have an iPhone - I was worried because iPhones are popular as well!  Well, turned out the hackers were targeting those that created accounts and used a mirrored version and not a true version of the game.
Then there was also the fear of e-mails being hacked.

Simple - I made a separate GMail account for the Pokémon Go game.  So if it does get hacked - I'm not too fussed.
(Dear hackers - please don't!)

Fun fact: I don't really run - this is my avatar while I'm on a bus! :D

Of course, there's the common sense factor - people are getting seriously hurt and have the nerve to blame the game.  Common sense folks - don't let your kid play (or yourself) if you're so distracted - you forget that cars/trucks/buses/bicycles and other transportation vehicles can kill or seriously hurt you if you're not paying attention!

Hand in hand with the common sense factor - is the respect others factor.  I've read of people complaining about their gardens being trampled or property invaded for the sake of some imaginary virtual pets.
One comment I received on my Facebook page, was the pure disgust of lack of respect for special properties like places of worship (i.e. Churches) or protected environments.  That's also not cool - potentially destroying or invading those kinds of places where calm and peace is necessary/expected.

The first day Finland got PG - the servers crashed and I couldn't create an account.
The second day, it was sporadic and I had to delete and reinstall it minimum 40x (call me crazy but I really wanted to see what the hype was about) because it kept freezing or my Pokéball got frozen mid toss or whatever.

Today's day 3 - I had longer sessions and am super happy with the game.

Why?
Bear in mind, this is based on MY experience and based on using the common sense factor and respect others factor too.

I have found a way to bond with my kids. Sure, we hike, we go grocery shopping and whatnot. But the big difference between playgrounds (at least for mine) - and playing this Pokémon scavenger hunt - is that my kids go further and do more running around than they would at a playground.  They also get bored at the local smaller ones pretty fast.

Let's break down my family:

Milo: NOT caring.

• Hubster - nearing 40 and doesn't understand Pokémon...so he thinks it's weird that I'm 30 and running around doing this.
• Me - 30 and I grew up with Pokémon cards and whatnot - so I was quite excited about it!
• V-Man - non-verbal autistic kiddo nearing 7 and doesn't understand Pokémon either.  HOWEVER!  He loves to walk around aimlessly (usually with the hopes of ice-cream or a bus ride to somewhere) - so Pokémon hunting is possible with him and gives us time to just hang out, enjoy nature and I get to catch Pokémon!
• A-Man - SLI (specific language impairment) kiddo nearing 5 and does like Pokémon and just wants me to catch a Pikachu or some frog-character.  He likes it a lot when I take a photo of the Pokémon with the AR on (so you can see your surroundings and how the Pokémon is in it via camera).  He also enjoys spinning the disc at the Pokéstops and try to find new ones and running around.
• M-Girl - DIVA child - nearing 3 and does like Pokémon and just wants to run around.  She also expects me to take photos and show her the results of my hunting after too.  She is more into climbing, running, jumping and falling on everything she possibly can - while I try to catch Pokémon.
• Loki & Milo - they're the dogs nearing 9 and 6 - and they frankly don't give a flying cow patty about Pokémon.  They're happy to go with me and that's great and everything - except Milo is a barker and protector...so it's a hassle to walk around and catch Pokémon with him lunging...
  
  Part of me wonders if Milo can see them and that's why he barks for "nothing"... ;) 

So how do I play Pokémon?

• I don't look like I'm playing unless I have kids with me.  If I'm solo - I have headphones and look like I'm texting people most likely.
• On the way to the bus stop - I turn it on and let it do it's thing.  I have the music OFF and just the vibrating and the sound effects - so I know when a Pokémon is approaching me.
  Otherwise, my phone is in my pocket until I hear that approaching sound or the sound of a nearby Pokéstop (usually monuments, important places or distinguished places - like graffiti/playgrounds/public buildings).
• When crossing streets, I don't use my phone anyway.  If anyone texted me or called me - they can wait.  The safety of myself, the drivers and my family is more important.  
• Regarding battery life - yes, it sucks battery like mosquitoes suck blood.
  BUT! I bought a power bank/external battery pack (I needed one anyway) and charge it at night, so it's ready to use whenever I need it.  If I know I'll be in a shop and there's no decent GPS connection - I just shut off my location and that preserves my battery.
• I catch them all!  A friend told me you can TRANSFER duplicate Pokémon you've caught (open up the Pokémon's profile and scroll down and click TRANSFER!  You won't get it back but you do get candy in exchange to help evolve others).  This helps save you space and I recommend transferring the LOWEST CP (Combat Power level) because if you have a level 10 versus a level 130 - why bother training the lower one when the higher leveled Pokémon has already surpassed the basics?
• I walk more.  This is the biggest thing for me.  I rely on the bus for fastest transportation and I have started going earlier to the bus stop to try to collect more Pokémon and hit up the stops I know of nearest to my bus stop.  
• If you want to hatch eggs - you need to WALK WALK WALK! - hence the one above.  To hatch the egg - they need to be incubated and from there, so many kilometers need to be reached before they hatch.  Then I load another egg in there and keep going!  It's a great motivator and no, treadmills might not be so easy, nor in a car etc.
• If I am catching one (or trying to) - I move to the side.  It's not nice blocking whole sidewalks so you can try to catch Pokémon.  It's also dangerous because here for example, people can and do cycle on the sidewalks.
• I'm not the Pokémom that's going to go completely out of my way to catch one.  I see all these parents driving their kids around or messes in places like Central Park?!  Um no.  Kids - we don't have a car, so we go where the bus goes if it's on the route and that's that.  I'm not going to go across country to play this game.

Pros of playing PG?

• Nostalgia - any kid that grew up with Pokémon has always dreamed of being able to really catch those virtual pets in real life.  
• Exercise - I don't go completely out of my way to hit up the stops or find Pokémon.  I go along my route with some mild extensions.  But I find myself walking more downtown than I normally would!
• You can't cheat and shake your phone repeatedly like you can with a fitness tracker watch.  Because of the GPS built into it - if you want to catch Pokémon - or hit up the stops - you have to get out there.
• Education - Some of the Pokéstops have some history or explanations of the monument/statue or place - so that's pretty neat.
• Bonding with my kids - It gives us time to run around and they use their imagination because on the phone they can see it but not in real life at the same spot.  So it's been interesting to pretend to pet the Pokémon or imagine it jumping or fighting!
• This leads to less time inside and on the computer/tablet or television!  Same for me too!
• It's FUN!  To me - it's getting me outside, I'm learning things about my community and getting exercise without realizing it!
• Perhaps some day, the V-Man will be into it - and it could be used as a tool to learn new words of places, things and Pokémon even!  
• I've read of dog shelters asking players to walk their dogs! :D  What a great way to get exercise for the dogs and volunteers!

Cons of playing PG?  (Assuming common sense and respect of others is taken into account!)

• I haven't battled in a gym yet - so I can't comment on that for now.
• I've heard and read of people being robbed and whatnot - that's quite scary!  Hopefully we don't encounter that.  
• It sucks up battery life - so an external battery charger is necessary.
• You need a good net package on your phone because WIFI isn't going to cut it inside some buildings or while outside. 
• Some items cost REAL money but again, I haven't tried battling in a gym to earn Pokémoney or Pokécoins...I'll let you know if I ever do.
• It's still fairly new and servers crash with the overwhelming amount of users from around the world - so for me, as an IOS user - I have to delete then reinstall it every time it crashes.  

So there you have it - I love Pokémon Go.

Sincerely yours,

BIMU - a PokéMom

NY Resolution Recipe #16: SUSHI PIZZA!

Okay, so I have been making sushi for myself (because nobody else wants it in my household) about once a week.
Traditionally after spinning - because I'm usually STARVING afterward.

Today I had spinning and did not make sushi - sigh.

But last week - I made sushi pizza!

"Pray tell, what is sushi pizza?!" you're probably wondering.

Well, once upon a time - back in Canada - I have heard of such a legendary food and it's just that. Pizza made with sushi-related ingredients.
It was expensive at the restaurants - and I have no idea why I never made my own sushi at home...but better late than never! :)

I was giddy with excitement and had to do it - so here's my version:

What you need:

• 1 Cup of sushi rice - cooked and cooled sushi rice (season it with your rice vinegar/sushi vinegar and sugar!)
• I don't use actual sushi rice.  I use "porridge rice" as it's just as sticky and works just as well!
• I also use my Tupperware Microwave Rice cooker to do the job - works like a charm and never burns on me! :)  
• 1 cup of rice + 1½ cups of water then 10 minutes on high in the microwave works for me.
• Roasted seaweed sheets
• Seafood of your choice - I used shrimp, cold smoked salmon and crab sticks
• Ripe avocado - you can slice it as I did in my photos - or you could mash it and slap it everywhere.
• Wasabi and Japanese soya sauce on the side to dip
• Roasted sesame seeds
• Panko crumbs
• Spicy mayo:  mayonnaise + sriracha sauce mixed well

What to do:

1. Take your cooled rice and spraying a pan lightly with cooking spray, pat the rice down and fill it as thick as you want it.  Some people prefer a thinner "crust" - some prefer thicker.  You could probably make 2 pizzas out of the rice - but I made a massive one.
2. Cook until golden brown evenly on both sides if you like it crunchy!  I don't like crunchy rice - so I lightly fried it - continuously shifting it and flattening it and once it was golden brown here and there - I slid it onto a plate.
3. Decorate it however way you want to.

I ripped the seaweed into strips and put that down first, sliced my avocado and squirted lemon juice on it while I cut prepped the other items.
I fiddled with it until it looked even all around and pretty for me to take photos!
It was extremely filling for 1 person! I ate half and ate the second half the next morning!

For my first attempt - I'm pleased!

Definitely something I will make again and share with a friend! :)
BIMU

NY Resolution Recipe #15: Cream Cheese Stuffed and Wrapped Chicken Breasts

Apparently, it has been awhile since I've written one of these posts up! EEK!
It's already Canada Day and I am seriously slacking!

So I apologize now in advance for all of the recipe posts that will be coming up - and I'll put the autism-related stuff on the back burner for a bit so I can truly update this blog!

So this comes off as a fancy-pants meat dish but really, it's not that hard, doesn't require that much and is not terribly time consuming to do.

What you need:

• Chicken breasts for the total amount of people you're serving - RINSED.
• Prosciutto or similar air-dried ham - or bacon (it'll be greasier) - 1/chicken breast
• Black Forest ham slices - 1/chicken breast
• Flavoured cream cheese - I used smoked reindeer - but herb & garlic would be lovely as well!
• Pepper
• Baking Paper
• Baking sheet
• Toothpicks
• Small sharp knife

What to do:

1. Turn your oven to 200*C (400*F) while you prep the chicken.
2. Cut open chicken (see photo of V-Man helping me out!).
3. Make a cut length-wise into the meat - but don't cut all the way through.
4. Spoon flavoured cream cheese into the "pocket" you made in the meat.
5. Wrap breast with a slice of ham and again with a slice of prosciutto/air-dried ham.
6. Insert a tooth pick and place on baking paper.
7. Repeat until all the chicken breasts are done.
8. Cook in oven for 25-35 minutes, until meat is cooked all the way through.  (Time may vary depending on your oven and thickness of meat.) 

Serve with rice, salad, potatoes or on a warm and toasty bun as a sandwich!
*Be sure to remove the toothpick - or else it will hurt.*

Enjoy! :)
BIMU

A Side of Autism: Surviving Summer & Activity Boxes

I actually prefer winter over summer and there are a few reasons for that.

1. Bugs - I get attacked on the regular and because my blood must be superbly exotic to them - they dine on me like an all you can eat Chinese buffet.  Seriously.
2. Sleep in - I know that was ridiculously funny being a parent.  But I don't have to worry about homework or getting up early to get the kids to their various school taxi/daycare locations. That allows me to sleep in as long as the kids let us.  So far - 7:30am - and that was only because they went to bed after midnight the night before!
3. Sunshine and warmth - which means we don't need to layer our kids up and have to worry about the sun disappearing between 2-3pm.  So far, *KNOCK ON WOOD*, we've actually had a summer where I am tanning and it hasn't rained much! :)
1. A lot of people in Finland complain about it being so bright and the sun never quite sets (ever) - but that's what black-out curtains and melatonin is for.
4. Berry season - This was more of a bonus - but anyways!  Self-explanatory.
5. The kids have daycare and school: No teacher is paid enough in my opinion for doing a good job keeping our kids occupied so we can work/study!  Especially the teachers/care givers with trickier kids or special needs ones....

So here's the thing - I typically (and still kind of do) dread summer holidays every year because the kids don't have a regular schedule, they eat more (since they're not in daycare) and we have no idea what to do with them that wouldn't bore US or THEM after a couple days!

Now, this summer seems to be going okay so far.

Here's our typical schedule - times are flexible of course:

• 6-7:30am: wake up - if it's just M-Girl crawling in our bed - I toss her the iPad with "Big Hero 6" set up on it and she gets to watch her "May-Max!" quietly while Hubster and I get a few more minutes to snooze.
• 8-9:30am: Breakfast and dishwasher emptying/re-loading
• 10 -11am: Hubster takes V-Man out for a hike with the dogs.
• 10am - 1pm: I either take the younger two to the playground or to do errands and meet a friend.  This way they're separated and V-Man doesn't get beaten up by M-Girl and so on.
• 11am - 12:30pm: Lunch somewhere here.
• 1-3pm: NAP TIME! GLORIOUS NAP TIME!!! 
• While they nap - depending on how early they woke me - I'm either napping too or off to the gym for 1-1½ hours. Or I take an evening class for an hour.
• 3-5pm: Play outside - get the kids a snack if they're hungry and see ya.  Go play in the front yard nicely.
• 5-7pm: Supper.
• 7pm: take a melatonin
• 8pm - 6:30am: SLEEP!!!! BEST PART OF THE DAY!!!! (For them - I usually blog or work on something or watch television until late - plus walk the dogs.)

So that's what we're doing so far and it's working.  Nobody has died or freaked out too much and we managed to go for a walk twice to the major grocery store - 1 hour walk - and they survived.  M-Girl has her pram of course as back up - but we managed just fine!

We are also NOT stressing about sticking to a particular schedule because that is ridiculously stressful on US as it is.

What is making a difference too this year is that the kids are older, they're listening a little better and understanding each other more.  

Now that I'm all side-tracked and trying to keep my 24-hours promise of having this done and up properly - what we have done for the V-Man is made him a sensory toy that only he can play with.

So what this is - is a sniffing jar.

I bought from a local craft store, about 12 of these in a box and I filled them with whatever spices I could think of that would be interesting for him to smell.

Off the top of my head:

• Cinnamon
• Tex-Mex
• Dill
• Cumin
• Curry
• Pizza Mix
• Fennel
• Pepper
• Nutmeg

Just as some examples.  I didn't label them - because he's not going to really care right now.

The point of these jars, and I have Overnight Care to thank for the suggestion! - is that he can sort them as he wants, and he can open and close them (life skill!) and smell them.

Have you ever walked by a candle or perfume aisle and not sniffed things?  Well, maybe if you're extremely sensitive - then probably not! 

I love smelling things!!

Well, that's what this is for the V-Man.  It overpowers his senses - from what we can tell - in a good way - and he's happy.

He can easily hand me a jar and ask me to open it and close it after we both smell it - then he puts it away and gives me a different one.

He doesn't like when they're toppled in his box - they have to be nice and neat - something we're learning about him!

Out of the three kids, V-Man is the most meticulous when it comes to eating an ice-cream sandwich at the store.  He's very neat and immediately wipes his fingers (if need be) on his t-shirt or in his hair....

I am working on activity boxes or "task boxes" for him - and this is the first one.

It was fairly affordable to do - I had all the spices handy and didn't fill the jars with much.  The craft jars cost me about 7€ - but of course, if you're fortunate enough to have a dollar store or jars yourself - it's even cheaper!

I got a clear plastic box from the candy section of my grocery store.  They fill up the bulk sections and leave the boxes for anyone that would like to have them.

The jars are plastic by the way - in case the V-Man tries to break them or drops them by accident or throws one.

Happy Summer!  Enjoy it and indulge into your guilty pleasures if you need to!
BIMU

Turning 30 (aka the year of "F*ck it!") and Owning a Bikini

I am 30 years old for all of almost 6 months and have finally decided to take a big step.

I bought my first bikini.

I, like millions of other women, am self-conscious and have never owned one as a child - never mind as a teenager or as a young adult.

Of course, those were the years (the younger ones) when my body was in its best shape and stretch mark-free!

But unlike millions of other women - I was raised to cover my stomach because I don't have a belly button.  I am confident and sure that my parents meant well and didn't want people to stare or ask me questions I simply didn't know the answer to!

I honestly had to do a Google search for "no belly button scar" and got "gastroschisis" - I honestly can't read my doctor's hand writing - so I knew it started with "gastro".  Sad but it's true - doctors handwriting is really difficult to read!

So what does it mean?

It means that I was born with my stomach open - not like a hernia - but my actual stomach on the outside - was wide open and my organs were hanging out.
They rushed me to the OR and tossed them back in and I got a lovely scar that I am finally - FINALLY - comfortable with sharing.
Having being born in the 80's - my doctor confirmed that it should've been picked up in the ultrasound but for some reason, it never was.

"You were quite the surprise delivery!  I'll never forget it!" my lovely doctor told me when I finally gathered the courage to ask her during one of my prenatal appointments with the V-Man.
I also asked if I could carry and deliver a child as naturally as possible, and she confirmed it should be fine.

(I haven't had any issues regarding my scar and any of the pregnancies or deliveries.  Funny enough, the Finnish doctors and midwives thought I had a C-Section gone terribly wrong!  And yes - I have stretch marks.)

When I was 18 and getting my first tattoo, the lady asked me if I wanted my belly button pierced instead - because I brought a friend and was so nervous about the pain of a tattoo.
I laughed my head off and said that wasn't possible but let's get on with the tattoo.  She was a complete stranger and I showed her my stomach quickly and she thought it was beautiful.  She wanted to tattoo birds and vines and flowers along my scar and I felt like it was a kind of nice way to embrace it, out of my 18-year old budget and it would somewhat tarnish it - when I really just wanted my Aquarius symbol tattooed on my back.

I also remembering going to my boyfriend's house after school and telling my Dad I would be home by 9pm and he asked what we were going to do.
"I'm getting my belly button pierced!" I yelled up the stairs and my Dad - God love him - he came rushing with his face flushed red and told me I was NOT allowed to go to my boyfriend's house and I should come straight home.
"But Dad...I don't have one to pierce!" 
He looked at me strangely, told me to be home no later than 9pm and walked away while I cackled out the door.
So yes, I can and do get a crack out of it every now and again.

It took a lack of tankini's (a 2-piece bathing suit but tank top) and not many nice options of a single piece bathing suit - for me to finally cave and get a bikini.

Sure, I could've gotten a bikini and thrown on a t-shirt and had horrible tan lines or had to deal with a wet t-shirt all the way home...

And of course, living in Finland - the wonderful sauna - I've never had issues with going with my husband or my girlfriends and that's because nobody looks at you.  They just talk or sit silently and enjoy the steam.
That and my friend I usually go with on Friday evenings - also wears glasses - so we couldn't see each other if we tried. :P

But - I'm tired.
Not just because I'm a mother - but I was simply tired of hiding my body AND trying to find a suitable bathing suit that wouldn't be too revealing, would be comfortable enough, fits etc.
Of course - I have some rolls and tightening up to do - but I'm finally confident and happy with myself and my body.
I'm not implying I want to be a stripper or porn star any time soon...so to my dear parents - don't freak out if you read this! :P

Turning 30 opened a new chapter in my life  (not just the upcoming "Cougar" status aka turning 40) - in which I simply do not give a sweet f*ck fuck anymore.
I've parted ways with negativity - negative people and those associated or reminded me too much of them and events.
I've opened up my mind to new experiences and things and continue to just try to be the best person I can be and go from there.
I'm learning to do things for ME - and I don't mean using the bathroom and taking a shower...
I'm studying at a Finnish cooking school and finally doing something I've wanted to do since I was 18.

A friend, much wiser and older than me - and has their own set of scars advised me that it's a part of me. It's not going to go away or change -so instead of hating it so much - why not love it?

How can I possibly expect my children to be proud of their bodies and brains - if I am not confident or proud of myself?

So if you have scars, if you have stretch marks - they're a part of you.  Be proud and don't be ashamed.  
Either fork over a ton of cash to try and get rid of them via laser treatments - or just try to embrace them as best as possible.
It can always be worse and just try to take it a day at a time.  That's all anyone can ask of you - and of you to ask of yourself.

You're beautiful - inside and out.

XO,

BIMU

6 Months Later

So back in January, I had signed up for the gym with no expectations.
I also started cooking school at the same time and having a schedule that fluctuated throughout the week meant that I was able to squeeze in some gym time and also some gym classes in the evenings - especially when the V-Man was at overnight/respite care.

For me, the gym was an escape.

I got that "in the zone" high whenever I went - which for me - meant that I focused on what I was doing.  I didn't think about the various things that had to be done like cleaning, grocery shopping, paperwork for the kids, picking up which kid and cooking supper when I got home.

It was a nice "mom-cation" without going anywhere and for pennies a day, if I went minimum five times a week!

I can't tell you how much weight I have lost because shockingly, there isn't a scale at the gym and I also don't own one!
I think for me, this was the most important thing - not having to stress about every single pound/kilogram and to just trust myself and push myself every week a little more.

Well, I can tell you that 6 months later, I'm still loving going to the gym! I have girlfriends that I go with regularly and also seek motivation through Pinterest, friends who have been into the gym routine for years and just seeking the peace and quiet the gym provides me that I don't get at home. :P
I'm more conscious about what I am eating - that's not to say I don't cheat (and I mean more than once a week!) but I cheat with better consideration.

At home, I've purchased some smaller plates and one long rectangle plate from IKEA.  They're all cheap but colourful and the main purpose was for my Instagram photos honestly! :)
The other point of buying smaller plates was to help decrease the portion size I was eating!
I was eating excessively and that had nothing to do with going to the gym - but just sticking to my old habits of eating until I was sure I would burst!

Within a week of eating off smaller plates and decreasing portion sizes - like 2 slices of pizza compared to 4... - my pants are fitting better!
I feel better!

I haven't juiced in ages - which would probably help with the slimming down faster - but when I was in cooking school (currently on summer vacation), I was constantly around food.

Do you know how hard it is to resist freshly cooked food and fresh out of the oven bread?!

I also had to constantly taste this and taste that - which added up with again, large portions at school.
My button to my cooking pants didn't close ever.  Not until the last week of school.
At school, I was provided oatmeal and leftover dessert (if any) for breakfast and lunch was usually quite hearty as well.
So I started loading more salad on my plate - ensuring it took up half the plate, meat a smaller portion and rice or potatoes - only occasionally.
I skipped dessert unless it was something new or fancy.  Or I would split dessert with a friend - half the guilt and half the calories - right? :P

So back to the gym... I've found out that I absolutely love spinning.
I know, if you've been following my blog for awhile - I hated spinning the first day.
I'm glad to say that I have been back every week since and this past week - I went twice.
Yeah - my husband was shocked too but I really enjoy it!  My legs feel like jelly afterward but it's still a successful accomplished feeling for me!
My legs are becoming more muscular and my thighs aren't so jiggly!  Each week I try and push my tension up so I feel the burn.

I also try to go to Body Jam, a dance class that's an hour-long and it's the same dance moves every week and it makes me sweat like a pig.

"I hate sweating!" I used to tell friends and found that I wasn't producing the best results I could with my body until I started sweating.
I'm getting over my disgust of sweating - still can't stand the stench of others - but that's just me.

I am pushing my limit every week in terms of weights being used.

On the tippy toes - it hurts.
Trust me.

I don't know all the names of the machines that I'm using, but I can give you a rough idea of what I am doing (and I can upload this with photos next time I go to the gym):

• I leg press starting from 40 kg up to 80 kg - doing 10 presses, 2 rounds.  Sometimes more if I am chatting with a friend on my phone - or am blogging! :P
• I do a lower back press starting at 30 kg up to 55 kg.  This was especially important for me after I had a minor accident on my 30th birthday back in February and I fell on ice twice - and the following morning, twisted and cramped my lower back muscles!!
• I do a variety of dips in groups of ten.
• I take two 8kg kettle bells and walk 15 long steps across the gym, but dipping my body down as far as I can go.  It's not a race and I don't walk fast.  I do this really slowly and when I forward lunge/dip - I put all my weight down. I then walk back the same distance.
• I use the row machine and go from 15kg to 40kg.  This is excellent for me because I do walk two large dogs and with Milo being a very strong dog and a puller - this has helped me with walking him by strengthening those muscles needed to hold a dog bag when needed!  Loki is 36kg and really responsive and often goes off leash with me because he's motivated by treats and rubs.
  Milo isn't there yet and is only 25kg but is still quite strong for such a slim dog.
• I do something like rowing - where you lean back a bit to pull and lift the weights (again, this is why photos are necessary! :P) and can go from 20kg to 40kg so far.
• I jump on the soft blocks they have a few rounds.
• I do some more arm exercises with machines and it ranges from 15-35kg.
• I do quads - meaning sitting against a wall and squatting down while my thighs burn.  I was also advised by another gym nut friend of mine to do quads while on my tippy toes - yeah - that burns a lot more.
• I hate the treadmill - but will speed walk (I do this naturally anyway) and jog a bit on it.
• I despise the stair master - but will do one round on the machine, which is equivalent to 10 floors.
• Sometimes I'll use the exercise bike.  

Once that's all done - it takes upwards of 1-1½ hours, I spend a minimum of 20 minutes stretching.

I use whatever is available.

I change my music list (I use Spotify on my phone for free - but right now they have this 99 cents sale for 3 months for the summer!) - from my "GYM" list to my "Yoga & Stretching" list.

• There's a broomstick handle and I do side lunges with those while wrapping my arms upward and holding on to the handle. I also twist my body side to side and forwards/backwards while holding onto the handle too.
• I do yoga - just some basic moves - whatever feels good and makes my body relax in the end.
• I bend backwards while "climbing" down the wall behind me and also I walk up the wall behind me while my hands are on the floor.  If a friend goes with me some time - I'll get them to take a photo! Mostly because I'm curious how ridiculous I look! :P

And that's it!  It can take a total of 1.5-2 hours for me to do all of this.

When I first started, I was done within an hour.  I'm slowly extending my time at the gym - depending on scheduling with Hubster and the kids - and increasing the weights each week and the reps as well.

Anyways, until next time!

BIMU

Lady Cups

I'm going to go off the autism/kids related path and just toss this out there:

Using a lady cup is a freaking mess.

They're often called a Luna cup, Lunette cup or the DivaCup or some other branded name.  "Period Cups" or "Menstrual Cups" are also popular terms.

Image credit: Google Search brought me to slate.com

They're silicone rubber cups you insert during your period and this tool is supposed to be easy to use, hypo-allergenic, sanitary, easy to clean, no leaks and both environmentally and economically-friendly.
I had used it before I had the M-Girl and after I had her it was impossible.
2-years later I'm finally trying to use it again.

For those that don't know- the cup kind of looks like a funnel. A pink (or other colour), thick rubber funnel and you need to fold it in half to squeeze it up in there.

My 1st Spinning Class: A Breakdown

I have no experience with spinning classes other than the one time I went to learn how to spin wool. My aunt had laughed at me thinking I meant spinning at a gym.
Hint: I'm not very good at spinning wool...

Well fast forward 12 years and I finally went to one. A proper gym-related spinning class.
I had originally signed up for a sh'bam class today (something to do with dancing) but due to time constraints- knew I wasn't going to make it on time.
A couple of my girlfriends who go to the same gym as I - we'll call them the "Gym Gurus" (it's our group chat name online)- suggested I sign up for spinning.
I was worried because:

1. I'm not good at riding a bike. Seriously- I suck at it and can't stand and cycle. 
1. I more or less learned how to bike when I was in my late 20's.
2. I'm out of shape in the cardio department. 
3. I don't think spinning is my thing but for the sake of trying- I signed up.

It was a 55-minutes long class.  The only other option in our gym is 45-minutes.

Here's some tips to survive if you're not super fit, not a biking pro and it's your first time too:

I should probably get better sneakers.

• Wear comfortable clothes that'll be caked in sweat, not too tight but not saggy either - you don't want to be making adjustments all the time!
• Bring your water bottle full. Maybe bring 2. My bike had 2 places - I know that for next time (if there is one!).
• Bring a hand towel to dry your face, neck and hands -they're going to sweat. (If you hate under boob sweat- spinning might not be for you.  If you can tolerate it - I envy you.)
• Bring ear plugs - a guy in the front did- I found the music too loud most of the time and had a headache to begin with. Thankfully the instructor saw me plugging my ears at one point and dude's neon ear plugs and dropped the volume.
• Don't go if you have a headache. 
• Comfy sneakers because the pedals have these straps for your feet and I had horrible foot cramps throughout. (See photo).
• Try to get a bike in the back. I was in the middle row but ahead of my friends and ever so jealous. 
• Getting a bike in the back row allows for you to:
•  Hide from the instructor and loud music if you're the type to need a break here and there to drink water or adjust your equipment. 
• Being in the back also allows your wedgie to ride along freely without fear of your sweaty colleagues seeing (and possibly putting bets on how long before) you pick it...thongs included. 
• And of course if you ate something disagreeable and making your gas gods throw a fiesta- that's usually (almost) hide-able from the back of the room (aka fart).  Good luck. 
• Adjust the bike properly to your height and comfort. I found the saddles to be hard as a rock and I found myself waddling after class. Actually I gracefully (as possible) fell off my bike when we were done. Also you need to be able to stand and spin- so get your instructor to give you a hand or your nearest  pre-sweaty neighbour (which was my case). 
• Go at your speed and at your tension.
• You won't fall off the bike.  Unless you fly forward and don't have your feet strapped in properly...so if you're a newbie to cycling (and I'm 30) - have faith and just go with the flow and follow your instructor and you'll be excited at being able to stand and cycle! I know I felt a wee bit giddy at not falling over and standing while cycling and shockingly - didn't bang my girly bits into the tip of the saddle seat! HA!
• Time might go slow and time might fly - try not to stare at the clock too much.
• **

Now here's the thing about the day after - that nobody tells you about in regards to spinning - other than, "You might hurt a bit".

YOU'RE GOING TO HURT A F*CK TON!

My feet are still aching, down-south area - specifically under my bottom feels bruised.  I haven't felt like this since delivering V-Man.  This is probably more to do with the seat being harder than a rock. For me it got to the point that standing was more of a relief than sitting!!

I got home and laid down with the kids - I couldn't sit - so lying down was it for me and I promptly puked.

But of course I didn't want to get it on their beds - so I swallowed that chuck back.

I felt nauseous the rest of the night and was so sure I wouldn't make it to class today - but it seemed to subside and the only issue was sitting.

Thankfully I'm in cooking school - so sitting only exists during lunch, coffee break and theory class - which was horrifically painful.

**You might want to add "pain killers" to the list above.**

A comment from a fan of my Facebook page warned me of "soreness and blisters in places I shouldn't" get them.

Lovely - I read that when I was already on a bus and on my way to the gym.  Mild panic - but my Gym Guru girlfriends were waiting and they had done it before and agreed that yes - "no pain no gain" is adequately suitable for losing my tummy flub and wanting to be more fit.

My friend's spouse does this twice a week.  How?!
I'm debating on going again next Monday (providing no headache or period - because that would be uncomfortable too) and seeing if I really like it.  Like honestly do I like it and will the pain lessen as I go more often.

I'm also considering (heavily) to buy a gel pad bike seat cover and just slap that on - because I really don't think I should feel like I gave birth to the world's biggest baby a day or two after spinning.
Never mind the vomit part - which Hubster started worrying!  Mostly because I have a pretty strong stomach for things, I didn't eat a massive portion of food before hand and I didn't have the tension too hard in my opinion.  But I also wasn't drenched in sweat like others - and I guess I can credit the leg work outs that I do manage to squeeze in...?

So - is spinning for me?  Maybe!  I can't say I hate it - although my first words to the girls were, "NEVER AGAIN" as I gracefully semi-fell off my bike to do cool-down stretches...

I definitely found I had a clear head because I just kept staring at the clock and with the blaring music and cheerful instructor - I couldn't think about anything else.

Is spinning for you?  Maybe!  I would try a shorter time frame than 55-minutes for a first time.  I thought my gym had a 30-minutes spinning class but apparently not.

Here are some "Benefits of Spinning" I found via Google.

Good luck you spinning warrior!
BIMU

Tasty Payback

Today's the day where women around the world are worshipped for being a mom. "One of the hardest jobs in the world" as it's often known as.
When you think about it- any kind of parenting is tough as f*ck.
Whether it's one kid or 20- it ain't easy.

I thought I would share my Mother's Day story.

For the fourth year running- my husband has forgotten. He was quickly reminded when the kids were bringing home their sweet little daycare homemade gifts.
He offered to cook bacon and eggs.
My husband reads and does research for a living. Why he cannot cook anything like dinner or bake a cake- is beyond me. I certainly have enough cookbooks to choose from!  Never mind a simple card- which is my honest to god favourite part of any gift or holiday.
Never mind the fact he hasn't even said "Thank you my part-time domestic goddess for hosting 3 little aliens in your womb and for dealing with all the cravings, saggy boobs, weight gain, pissing and pooping yourself regularly, insane hormone battles, stretch marks and stitches down south (with every single one) and the joys of being a full time restaurant/cow. I appreciate everything you do and love you very much. Thanks for not killing me by now."
You know- everything that's packed into "Happy Mothers Day".
(Yes the Hubster is in hot water for the past 4 years- he just doesn't know it yet. Last year was a free pass with the hospital stay and pneumonia of course!)

So yes, he made me bacon and eggs (which we have every weekend)  and dragged my lardy butt up a few hills and around the woods hiking with 2/3 kids (V-Man came home later today) and the dogs. But before we even made it to the woods- Milo felt the need to protect me from a tiny dog that was being quiet (however they may have gotten into a scuffle before)- and clawed open two of my toes trying to get this tiny beast. The bones are bruising and they hurt.
My fault for enjoying the challenge of hiking in flip flops...but anyway- pure jerk wad.

Somehow he forgot that V-Man is to be picked up by 2 and thought it was 3. I managed to don on my super cape (busted toes and all) and rushed to the bus to get the V-Man by 1:59pm. He was the last kid to be picked up and I felt awful because I didn't want their Mother's Day plans to be ruined because of us being late getting our kiddo.

So I do love pay back (within budget and reason) and I went to the gym while M-Girl was having a monster melt down (she refused to nap or listen and decided to dive face first off the coffee table and into the wooden floors) and I went to the gym for a solid 45 minutes. I then ordered Chinese food for everyone and for myself opted for Peking Duck instead of my trusty Szcheuan beef as its more pricey and today's a special day.
What the Hubster doesn't know is that this week is going to be full of suppers that he's not a fan of.

No- I won't poison him. Just making and serving food that me and the kids like and that he CAN eat with his crohn's. Spaghetti, some creamy pasta (I'm willing to suffer myself too for a good bowl!), meat loaf and salmon.

"But don't forget your 100/100 rule!" My friend kindly reminded me.
I didn't forget. I'm putting 100% by getting Chinese food and bringing it home. He did his 100% by watching the kids so I can burn off the nasty energy.

I'm all about the compromise.
And this my friends- is what marriage is really like. (At least for us.)
I figure it's kinder than screaming, making him sleep on the sofa or some other petty move.
BIMU