Sometimes, okay - all the time - there are things that the V-Man does that doesn't make any sense and it annoys us.
Jumping on the furniture, re-arranging furniture (yeah he's only 5) and today - banging on the bathroom door.
Not a constant pounding - but more or less opening and closing the door (read "slamming") repeatedly.
At first SH was grumpy and yelling at V-Man to stop making so much noise and to leave the door alone.
Then I had a light bulb moment.
"Maybe he needs the toilet?"
Well, the potty's in the living room - full access for A-Man and the smaller potty is slowly getting used by M-Girl (when we remember to try) and V-Man uses them both as stepping stools.
SH thought I was nuts but V-Man is able to pee in the shower - we're just so used to him using his diapers and because his bowels are acting funky for the past 6 months (at least) - he #2s at least 8 times a day. Nothing solid and nothing large. Just streaks of mud more or less.
Was that too much info? Sorry - it's poop and everyone does it somehow.
So I opened the bathroom door and he immediately climbed up onto the toilet (we keep the lid down - yes, my husband does this regularly and I'll explain why later!) and stripped his diaper.
Yep - a streak of poo.
But! The rest was dry. So I asked if he needed to pee and to go in the shower.
He immediately dashed in there (it's a stand-alone type) and I waited. He looked at me expectantly and I turned on a little side hose by the sink and sprayed his boy bits and pow.
He peed.
Thinking this was purely a stroke of luck and it wouldn't happen again, I tried to not get my hopes up.
About an hour later, same thing.
"BANG, BANG BANG" - he was slamming and opening the door again to the bathroom.
I rushed him in there and I gave him a little spray and again - he peed in the shower.
I know and I'm sure - this disgusts many people.
But he is 5-years old - lost all the potty-training ("Elimination Communication") we started at 5-months old due to an infection on his bottom and the pain it caused - so anything remotely close to getting him to stay in a dry diaper - is a big step and one I'm going to approach with enthusiasm.
Of course, we're going to work on getting him to sit on a potty or toilet. It's a major life skill he needs to learn and one that we need lots of time and patience for.
My goal is to allow him to pee in the shower for a few more days, this is fantastic that he's recognizing the need to pee on his own, and then I'll be putting a potty in the shower and teaching him to sit on it.
Teaching him to poop in the potty is going to be the hardest bit - but if I can get him to at least pee in the shower, on a potty (and eventually move that out of the shower and how to use toilet paper...) - then I'd be a very proud parent.
So what seemed to be an act of annoyance - turned out to be a signal for help.
Patience is really required in this job called parenting! :)
BIMU
PS - SH took him to the bathroom and he stripped down before entering the bathroom and ran into the shower and peed again! :D
PPS: The Toilet Lid Story
I came home from work one day to my beloved little handsome kitten. He's just a ball of fluff and 1/4 (they're in Canada - yes 4 cats) and he was more like a dog.
He'd run to the door when he heard me coming home and we'd have a cuddle before I even took my coat off and then we'd go to the kitchen to start supper usually.
During a cuddle one afternoon, SH looks at me and says, "You probably don't want to rub your face too close to him right now."
I have my face buried into his and while he's purring away and rubbing my face with his itty-bitty pink nose - I'm quickly sniffing my cat and not smelling anything odd.
"Why?"
"He fell in the toilet before I got a chance to flush it." - him
"You didn't bathe him?! Did you crap?!...oh gross!"
"He jumped in faster than I could flush it or put the lid down!"
Excuses....blegh!
I immediately dropped my cat (don't worry - I'm not very tall), disinfected my hands and face and donned on rain gear to give him a bath (the cat - not my husband) and ever since then - he's put the lid down.
** SH claims that he did it anyway before this incident but I'd like to think this more or less sealed the deal.
Writing in comfort about crafts, food, family life and more while living in Finland.
Showing posts with label autistic toddler. Show all posts
Showing posts with label autistic toddler. Show all posts
Sunday, 16 November 2014
Wednesday, 22 October 2014
Learning About Finland: "He's mentally retarded."
Ah - the lovely "R-word".
Retard.
Retarded.
Retardation.
A few months ago, I was downtown and got a phone call from a doctor at the hospital who informed me that I will get a notice in the mail regarding our following appointment for V-Man's diagnosis of autism.
Up until this past summer - he was only diagnosed as "having characteristics of autism" because they didn't know what level of severity it was or how it would develop in the future.
He was also two-years old when we started doing tests and having assessments at the hospital for him.
So right away it was clearly obvious that V-Man was autistic but how much - not yet sure.
Then this past summer, while I'm downtown waiting for the bus, carrying a baby and a crap-ton of groceries - I get a phone call from that doctor and this was our conversation pretty much:
What the F does that mean?!
So this was my response after a brief but noticeable pause:
"Okay." (I'm clearly learning the way of the Finns! HA.)
I was fighting back tears because I'm at a bus stop among strangers and not quite sure how to take this all in and the doctor was a bit surprised.
"You didn't know about this? I told your husband that this is a strong possibility...he didn't say anything?"
"Nope - not that I'm aware of."
So she confirms when the next appointment will be and that if I have any questions to feel free to call her.
As soon as I got home, I cried. I know it can be always worse - I know it and I preach it.
But it still was a shock and I didn't know how to react - so I cried.
Then I stuffed myself with the forbidden chips and ice-cream until the husband got home from work.
Then I quietly cooked a meal without so much as a peep.
When the kids were asleep then I opened my floodgates again and let SH have it.
In all fairness, in case he ever reads this - he defended himself with:
"Mental retardation just means that V-Man's delayed in learning - even basic everyday things. A developmental delay - which often goes with autism. We knew that. It's just a different way of saying it."
I went to the hospital for that meeting a month later and the doctor went over everything on her paper but her main focus was my face.
Not that I had a ginormous zit or anything - but moreso that I was so calm about the whole thing. (Remember - I did all my crying about a paragraph back/month prior! :) )
But once the words "Your son is showing signs of mental retardation..." - the translator stepped in and shockingly, corrected her.
Sure - medically - the term "retarded" is correct.
However, it didn't seem to appear that Finns are aware of the negative usage of the "R-Word".
The doctor was shocked, apologetic and made a mental note to not use the term "retarded" - so as to not offend other parents (probably ones who wouldn't be nearly as calm as I).
It's typical in North America as an example to ignorantly say, "You're retarded! That's so retarded! What a retard!"
I know - because I'm guilty of growing up hearing that (home, school, everywhere!) and saying that everywhere.
It was only until I got my first "professional" job at a bank did I kick that word out of my vocabulary. I developed a deep friendship with one of my very best friend's who has Cerebral Palsy and out of respect for her and the fact that it was very rude and hateful to use that word (in my opinion) anyways.
She's the first person I e-mailed and the first one with such a wise and calm response:
"Don't worry. Labels are for cans. Not people."
To have V-Man diagnosed with "Autism characteristics" - would never make me think of anyone referring to him as a "retard" - but rather as a kid who's acting weird and has autism.
But now that he has that diagnosis - I was upset. I sent e-mails and messages to my closest friends I felt comfortable telling and while all were Canadian - many were shocked at the doctor's "casual usage" of the words.
But she was right. It is a medical condition, it's her professional diagnosis and it's true.
He's far behind in his extremely basic developmental skills and with him not speaking - it's hard to say what he'll be like next year, in 5 years, in 10 or 20 years from now.
But we'll see how things go. :)
And for those who were wondering what's the latest and greatest hospital/doctor assessment update about the V-Man - well, this is it. :)
It doesn't make me love him any less - if anything - I love him a little more. I can't imagine the things that go through his mind and I consider him our little trooper because our other two children seem to not be showing any signs of autism or being mentally challenged in any way.
BIMU
PS I do have some friends that use the R-Word recreationally, so to speak, and no - I don't take offense to it when you use it. I haven't used it myself in such a long time - it's almost like hearing/reading a foreign language whenever someone does use it.
Nor am I intending for this post to offend anyone in any way.
Retard.
Retarded.
Retardation.
A few months ago, I was downtown and got a phone call from a doctor at the hospital who informed me that I will get a notice in the mail regarding our following appointment for V-Man's diagnosis of autism.
Up until this past summer - he was only diagnosed as "having characteristics of autism" because they didn't know what level of severity it was or how it would develop in the future.
He was also two-years old when we started doing tests and having assessments at the hospital for him.
So right away it was clearly obvious that V-Man was autistic but how much - not yet sure.
Then this past summer, while I'm downtown waiting for the bus, carrying a baby and a crap-ton of groceries - I get a phone call from that doctor and this was our conversation pretty much:
- "Hi, it's Doctor So and So. Is this a bad time to talk about V-Man's diagnosis?"
- "Nope - what is it?"
- "Well, he's definitely autistic and mentally retarded."
What the F does that mean?!
So this was my response after a brief but noticeable pause:
"Okay." (I'm clearly learning the way of the Finns! HA.)
I was fighting back tears because I'm at a bus stop among strangers and not quite sure how to take this all in and the doctor was a bit surprised.
"You didn't know about this? I told your husband that this is a strong possibility...he didn't say anything?"
"Nope - not that I'm aware of."
So she confirms when the next appointment will be and that if I have any questions to feel free to call her.
As soon as I got home, I cried. I know it can be always worse - I know it and I preach it.
But it still was a shock and I didn't know how to react - so I cried.
Then I stuffed myself with the forbidden chips and ice-cream until the husband got home from work.
Then I quietly cooked a meal without so much as a peep.
When the kids were asleep then I opened my floodgates again and let SH have it.
In all fairness, in case he ever reads this - he defended himself with:
"Mental retardation just means that V-Man's delayed in learning - even basic everyday things. A developmental delay - which often goes with autism. We knew that. It's just a different way of saying it."
I went to the hospital for that meeting a month later and the doctor went over everything on her paper but her main focus was my face.
Not that I had a ginormous zit or anything - but moreso that I was so calm about the whole thing. (Remember - I did all my crying about a paragraph back/month prior! :) )
But once the words "Your son is showing signs of mental retardation..." - the translator stepped in and shockingly, corrected her.
Sure - medically - the term "retarded" is correct.
However, it didn't seem to appear that Finns are aware of the negative usage of the "R-Word".
The doctor was shocked, apologetic and made a mental note to not use the term "retarded" - so as to not offend other parents (probably ones who wouldn't be nearly as calm as I).
It's typical in North America as an example to ignorantly say, "You're retarded! That's so retarded! What a retard!"
I know - because I'm guilty of growing up hearing that (home, school, everywhere!) and saying that everywhere.
It was only until I got my first "professional" job at a bank did I kick that word out of my vocabulary. I developed a deep friendship with one of my very best friend's who has Cerebral Palsy and out of respect for her and the fact that it was very rude and hateful to use that word (in my opinion) anyways.
She's the first person I e-mailed and the first one with such a wise and calm response:
"Don't worry. Labels are for cans. Not people."
To have V-Man diagnosed with "Autism characteristics" - would never make me think of anyone referring to him as a "retard" - but rather as a kid who's acting weird and has autism.
But now that he has that diagnosis - I was upset. I sent e-mails and messages to my closest friends I felt comfortable telling and while all were Canadian - many were shocked at the doctor's "casual usage" of the words.
But she was right. It is a medical condition, it's her professional diagnosis and it's true.
He's far behind in his extremely basic developmental skills and with him not speaking - it's hard to say what he'll be like next year, in 5 years, in 10 or 20 years from now.
But we'll see how things go. :)
And for those who were wondering what's the latest and greatest hospital/doctor assessment update about the V-Man - well, this is it. :)
It doesn't make me love him any less - if anything - I love him a little more. I can't imagine the things that go through his mind and I consider him our little trooper because our other two children seem to not be showing any signs of autism or being mentally challenged in any way.
BIMU
PS I do have some friends that use the R-Word recreationally, so to speak, and no - I don't take offense to it when you use it. I haven't used it myself in such a long time - it's almost like hearing/reading a foreign language whenever someone does use it.
Nor am I intending for this post to offend anyone in any way.
Saturday, 11 October 2014
Raising Autism Awareness: The Birthday Party Edition
I went to a child birthday party today of a friend's (as mentioned in my exciting post regarding gift shopping), and I originally planned that the whole family was going.
Yup, me +4.
A year ago, it would be automatically assumed that V-Man wouldn't go -not that he doesn't deserve to -but because it was a constant fight. Fight to get him dressed. Fight to get him out the door and to the bus on time (with minimal wait time and absolutely no rushing). Fight to get the stroller up the hill with him in it (as walking is fairly new). Fight to make sure he didn't feel up any other adult guests (I.e. bum grabbing). Fight to entertain him without a screaming fit.
Fight to get him dressed again to go home.
Now, he doesn't fight so much on those things above but is still quite fussy if we have to wait for the bus.
So my original plan was shattered this morning with SH telling me he's not able to go because he has a sore throat.
Fair enough. I don't want him to spread whatever that may be to others and he looked so miserable, I offered to take 2 kids.
The agreement was that M-Girl would come with me if she wasn't asleep when it was time to go, and V-Man.
I'd prefer A-Man because he loves to wait for the bus and watch traffic. So if we missed a bus, not a big tantrum to deal with.
That and he could use more friends, practice speaking and have some fun.
Of course, he decided a tantrum and a nap while I was getting ready, was the best idea and I'm not going to wake up a just fallen asleep child!!
So V-Man and M-Girl it was.
I strapped on my baby carrier, plopped her into it, put the harness on V-Man and off we went.
We arrived at the bus stop ten minutes too early. So we walked in the rain to the next stop, caught the bus and headed downtown. Minimal fighting from him...ok, I can do this!
I ended up getting some pajamas for the birthday boy -to go with the book- and during me paying, V-Man decided to try and make a mad dash.
I seriously think my legs may have grown, because I stretched out like an ostrich and caught him by his harness strap. Pressed that green button, took my bag and off we went!
We walked to the party, and silly me, took the longer route because I forgot the quicker way.
V-Man was pissed. It was maybe a 15-minutes walk, as opposed to 6?
My bad.
We got there as other guests were arriving and I didn't know anyone else but the hostess and her sister. A couple friends showed up bit later, so that was nice.
Then my personal party began.
He knows food and loves it. He's familiar with a kitchen and is pretty determined (code- stubborn).
My M-Girl opted for screaming at the birthday boy and V-Man decided a whole bowl of cookies should satisfy him, while other children played.
No, he didn't eat the whole thing but was quite protective of it and territorial like a dog with a steak.
I'm torn between two places and once the hostess announced that the food was available, I got him a plate of food to share with his sister.
While I'm doing that, he's in the grandma's seat, chowing down her food.
I'm embarrassed and while she reassures me it's all good, I know the other parents are wondering why a big kid is not listening, hasn't said a word but made funny sounds and is eating grandma's food.
I think I heard someone explain and just kept going...
Got him settled with a plate of food and a drink and things are going well. He runs off to play and comes back half naked. Ok, just shirtless but working on removing the sweat pants.
Is that poop I smell?!
After chasing him down and doing a diaper change, I'm exhausted. Well, we lasted 1.5 hours....not too bad!!!!
I took a few photos of the cake and began to get him dressed to leave. It's not that the party wasn't lovely, because it was!!!
I just wasn't enjoying myself and watching/entertaining him is a 2-person job. Never mind watching the baby or trying to introduce myself to anyone!
It's also why we don't bring him to outdoor parties because he's an escape artist and a very fast one at that.
I think in the future, he'll stay at home...it's just a bit easier.
Not that we don't want people to learn about autism or ask questions and we're not ashamed of him either. I think we need to figure out how to get him to entertain himself without disturbing others and for longer than 2 minutes stretches at a time! Especially if it's a party that involves games, or if waiting for food is required!
In retrospect, I should've played some YouTube videos on my phone. But the touch screen is sensitive and he would've drove me wild with exiting it repeatedly.
Oh well, until next time!!!
BIMU
Yup, me +4.
A year ago, it would be automatically assumed that V-Man wouldn't go -not that he doesn't deserve to -but because it was a constant fight. Fight to get him dressed. Fight to get him out the door and to the bus on time (with minimal wait time and absolutely no rushing). Fight to get the stroller up the hill with him in it (as walking is fairly new). Fight to make sure he didn't feel up any other adult guests (I.e. bum grabbing). Fight to entertain him without a screaming fit.
Fight to get him dressed again to go home.
Now, he doesn't fight so much on those things above but is still quite fussy if we have to wait for the bus.
So my original plan was shattered this morning with SH telling me he's not able to go because he has a sore throat.
Fair enough. I don't want him to spread whatever that may be to others and he looked so miserable, I offered to take 2 kids.
The agreement was that M-Girl would come with me if she wasn't asleep when it was time to go, and V-Man.
I'd prefer A-Man because he loves to wait for the bus and watch traffic. So if we missed a bus, not a big tantrum to deal with.
That and he could use more friends, practice speaking and have some fun.
Of course, he decided a tantrum and a nap while I was getting ready, was the best idea and I'm not going to wake up a just fallen asleep child!!
So V-Man and M-Girl it was.
I strapped on my baby carrier, plopped her into it, put the harness on V-Man and off we went.
We arrived at the bus stop ten minutes too early. So we walked in the rain to the next stop, caught the bus and headed downtown. Minimal fighting from him...ok, I can do this!
I ended up getting some pajamas for the birthday boy -to go with the book- and during me paying, V-Man decided to try and make a mad dash.
I seriously think my legs may have grown, because I stretched out like an ostrich and caught him by his harness strap. Pressed that green button, took my bag and off we went!
We walked to the party, and silly me, took the longer route because I forgot the quicker way.
V-Man was pissed. It was maybe a 15-minutes walk, as opposed to 6?
My bad.
We got there as other guests were arriving and I didn't know anyone else but the hostess and her sister. A couple friends showed up bit later, so that was nice.
Then my personal party began.
He knows food and loves it. He's familiar with a kitchen and is pretty determined (code- stubborn).
My M-Girl opted for screaming at the birthday boy and V-Man decided a whole bowl of cookies should satisfy him, while other children played.
No, he didn't eat the whole thing but was quite protective of it and territorial like a dog with a steak.
I'm torn between two places and once the hostess announced that the food was available, I got him a plate of food to share with his sister.
While I'm doing that, he's in the grandma's seat, chowing down her food.
I'm embarrassed and while she reassures me it's all good, I know the other parents are wondering why a big kid is not listening, hasn't said a word but made funny sounds and is eating grandma's food.
I think I heard someone explain and just kept going...
Got him settled with a plate of food and a drink and things are going well. He runs off to play and comes back half naked. Ok, just shirtless but working on removing the sweat pants.
Is that poop I smell?!
After chasing him down and doing a diaper change, I'm exhausted. Well, we lasted 1.5 hours....not too bad!!!!
I took a few photos of the cake and began to get him dressed to leave. It's not that the party wasn't lovely, because it was!!!
I just wasn't enjoying myself and watching/entertaining him is a 2-person job. Never mind watching the baby or trying to introduce myself to anyone!
It's also why we don't bring him to outdoor parties because he's an escape artist and a very fast one at that.
I think in the future, he'll stay at home...it's just a bit easier.
Not that we don't want people to learn about autism or ask questions and we're not ashamed of him either. I think we need to figure out how to get him to entertain himself without disturbing others and for longer than 2 minutes stretches at a time! Especially if it's a party that involves games, or if waiting for food is required!
In retrospect, I should've played some YouTube videos on my phone. But the touch screen is sensitive and he would've drove me wild with exiting it repeatedly.
Oh well, until next time!!!
BIMU
Sunday, 28 September 2014
My First Kiss
My first kiss was when I was four-years old in pre-school. It wasn't overly exciting and I ended up getting caught by the teachers because one was keeping an eye on me and Stephen behind the "devil's (double-sided) mirror".
My husband blames me for our 2-year old A-Man and all of lady-friends at day-care...ah well.
Today I had one of my favourite kisses of all.
My V-Man is a non-verbal autistic (and recently diagnosed "mentally challenged/retarded" - another post for another time) and while all my friends and complete strangers in passing have children chatting the parents' heads off asking, "Why? Well, I need to pee. I want this...I want that..."
I've never experienced that with V-Man.
The fact that he doesn't verbally express himself is a double-edged sword. It's a wonderful thing because then I don't have to answer why we don't have a car, why is the sky blue, why does that lady over there stink quite a bit...you know - the easy, the hard and the embarrassing questions.
Then again, I don't get to hear things like, "Thank you, Mommy, I hurt here...I want to do this today...I love you."
I used to get really hung up on the "I love you" bit.
Only recently has he started expressing interest in going to McDonald's or Hesburger downtown. He shows this by dragging me there, and assuming his boulder position of not moving until he sees me order his chicken nuggets, fries and apple juice.
Growing up - we didn't say it to each other very often in my family and it's probably because my mom's Asian. And I'm not knocking Asians!! It's true!
It's just assumed and rarely said - check out this video showing reactions from Asian parents hearing "I love you" from their grown children.
I'm married to another Canadian who isn't Asian - and we try to make a point of saying we love the kids before they go to bed and before they head out the door to daycare.
Today, I was having some cuddly time with V-Man while M-Girl and A-Man were playing quietly together. The SH was taking the dogs out for a quick walk.
So we were lying in bed together - one of his favourite things to do is cuddle with blankets - and I told him that I loved him a couple times.
He stared at me.
Alright - progress.
So then I asked him, "Do you love me?"
And he smiled.
My heart melted.
Then I gave him a kiss and he tried to push me away at first...and then he let me kiss him the second time.
Then he turned to me and he leaned forward and pressed his lips on mine.
He'll be five in a couple months and the doctors say they aren't sure what "age development" he's currently at.
I also realize this could be a total fluke or a total one-off and I won't get another kiss from him for maybe another five years...or maybe ever again...but I'm trying to be slightly more on the optimistic side.
But it's just nice to have gotten that tiny bit of confirmation that yes, he does love me.
BIMU
PS While I am bawling my head off about this - he began to strip in the bathroom and tossed his diaper at my feet...and his turd rolled out onto my foot. He was oblivious to the turdlet on my toes...
Just another day with the V-Man.
My husband blames me for our 2-year old A-Man and all of lady-friends at day-care...ah well.
Today I had one of my favourite kisses of all.
My V-Man is a non-verbal autistic (and recently diagnosed "mentally challenged/retarded" - another post for another time) and while all my friends and complete strangers in passing have children chatting the parents' heads off asking, "Why? Well, I need to pee. I want this...I want that..."
I've never experienced that with V-Man.
The fact that he doesn't verbally express himself is a double-edged sword. It's a wonderful thing because then I don't have to answer why we don't have a car, why is the sky blue, why does that lady over there stink quite a bit...you know - the easy, the hard and the embarrassing questions.
Then again, I don't get to hear things like, "Thank you, Mommy, I hurt here...I want to do this today...I love you."
I used to get really hung up on the "I love you" bit.
Only recently has he started expressing interest in going to McDonald's or Hesburger downtown. He shows this by dragging me there, and assuming his boulder position of not moving until he sees me order his chicken nuggets, fries and apple juice.
Growing up - we didn't say it to each other very often in my family and it's probably because my mom's Asian. And I'm not knocking Asians!! It's true!
It's just assumed and rarely said - check out this video showing reactions from Asian parents hearing "I love you" from their grown children.
I'm married to another Canadian who isn't Asian - and we try to make a point of saying we love the kids before they go to bed and before they head out the door to daycare.
Today, I was having some cuddly time with V-Man while M-Girl and A-Man were playing quietly together. The SH was taking the dogs out for a quick walk.
So we were lying in bed together - one of his favourite things to do is cuddle with blankets - and I told him that I loved him a couple times.
He stared at me.
Alright - progress.
So then I asked him, "Do you love me?"
And he smiled.
My heart melted.
Then I gave him a kiss and he tried to push me away at first...and then he let me kiss him the second time.
Then he turned to me and he leaned forward and pressed his lips on mine.
He'll be five in a couple months and the doctors say they aren't sure what "age development" he's currently at.
I also realize this could be a total fluke or a total one-off and I won't get another kiss from him for maybe another five years...or maybe ever again...but I'm trying to be slightly more on the optimistic side.
But it's just nice to have gotten that tiny bit of confirmation that yes, he does love me.
BIMU
PS While I am bawling my head off about this - he began to strip in the bathroom and tossed his diaper at my feet...and his turd rolled out onto my foot. He was oblivious to the turdlet on my toes...
Just another day with the V-Man.
Saturday, 20 September 2014
My Jogging Journal: Day 6 & 7 - what a slacker.
You're right - I actually had to look up my blog's previous posts to see when was the last time I jogged with V-Man.
According to my blog - it was Day 5 on September 1st.
That's not to say I have not been jogging with him since then but moreso that I have been crap at recording it.
I've been doing little things with the V-Man like taking him grocery shopping, having mini dates with him - where it's just him and I (i.e. McDonald's or Hesburger...we haven't gotten to the level of comfort of a café yet...).
Thursday I had picked him up from overnight care and he was thrilled to be walking home wearing his harness.
Today, because A-Man has suddenly come down with a horrible stomach flu of sorts - we decided to go out and have a mini-date at McDonald's and took a stroll in H&M...then we went to get groceries.
And this is the interesting part.
He loves walking around a grocery store. If he had it his way, he'd lead me all over the store from opening to close. He's too large to stuff into a shopping cart and while he does fit in one - it's a pain getting him in and out! So he walks now.
Today I didn't have his harness with me and was hoping that by some stroke of luck - he'd feel uncomfortable not holding his handle of his harness and stick closer.
For the most part - yeah he did!
So we're in the grocery store for diapers, snacks and sandwich meat. Because every night before bed - he has a toasted ham and pepperoni sandwich with butter. Sometimes if he didn't eat a lot of supper - he'll also have a couple sliced tomatoes.
Anyways, we went into the sandwich meat aisle and he got excited and immediately went to take a look. It was pretty cute, I must say!
I guided him to the ham section and he was looking at 3 packages (all different brands) and began to actually point at one. So I picked it up for him and he looked at it and wanted to look at the other two as well. That was fine by me - as he wasn't tossing them, biting the package or sniffing/licking them either.
He finally picked the third package - which was store branded ham and didn't quite know what to do with it. I asked him if he wanted that ham for his sandwiches and he looked at it, did his happy dance (fist closed, looking at the package and not screaming but appearing content) and I told him to put it in the basket.
He looked at me like I had 5 heads. So I guided his hand into the basket with the ham and he let it go.
I'm trying to practice the whole "Praise the kids 10x over publicly" and really cheered him on in the chilly meat aisle. He seemed happy, reached for my hand and we walked on.
I instantly thought, "What else might he like that he could easily lift into a basket?!"
So we did a lap around the store and he didn't drag me anywhere specific, so he probably figured we were done.
Then I remembered that we were out of apple juice (the boys don't seem to be fans of my fresh apple juice from the juicer...) and I brought him there. He looked around and when I pointed at the regular juice containers we normally get, he got excited (little bit of hopping, flapping hands and smiling) - and then he took my hand and placed it on a carton.
I told him no, he had to put it in the basket. He's not usually allowed to handle juice cartons at home - to prevent making messes - so he was a bit shy.
I encouraged him as best as I could and separated one carton from the rest and he picked it up and turned it around a few times.
I held the basket out to him and he put it in nicely.
I almost started crying.
It's the little things like this that show me, as a parent, he has real potential to learn some life skills. Sure he might not speak, have and care for a pet, or play on an official sports team or join the local hobby clubs...but if he can show me at the age of 4, that he can express interest in what he wants - and put it in a basket with me - then I have a better peace of mind for his future.
So I guess he'll be going grocery shopping with me a lot more in the future...and I'm kind of excited to work on this new life skill with him.
Honestly, 6-12 months ago - I would never think such a thing!! But I'm trying to stay positive! :)
BIMU
PS Funny story about grocery shopping after picking him up from overnight care:
We walked home (as mentioned above) and immediately hopped on a bus to go across town to get some little things. I figured it'd be wiser to take the longest route because then it would give him time to calm down after realizing we were not going to go straight home to watch a movie.
He handled things quite well - ate a chicken nugget meal at the burger joint there and was very calm.
So calm in fact, that while I was paying, he found a nice tattooed teenaged girl to be friends with.
He kept following her and trying to hold her hand...which sounds really sweet and innocent...but if you're new and holding his hand - there's usually some sniffing involved.
And of course, the overnight care staff had just advised us that he started to bite people again when he's mad.
Not that he was mad while trying to grab this poor girl's hand...
And where was I? Paying for my groceries...and stuffing them in my bag...and when I saw what he was doing - trying my hardest not to pee myself.
Sorry tattooed confused teenage girl.
If you enjoy reading my blog and these little funny "PS" at the end - check out my Facebook page for regular updates that are often, too short for their own blog posts!
According to my blog - it was Day 5 on September 1st.
That's not to say I have not been jogging with him since then but moreso that I have been crap at recording it.
I've been doing little things with the V-Man like taking him grocery shopping, having mini dates with him - where it's just him and I (i.e. McDonald's or Hesburger...we haven't gotten to the level of comfort of a café yet...).
Thursday I had picked him up from overnight care and he was thrilled to be walking home wearing his harness.
Today, because A-Man has suddenly come down with a horrible stomach flu of sorts - we decided to go out and have a mini-date at McDonald's and took a stroll in H&M...then we went to get groceries.
And this is the interesting part.
He loves walking around a grocery store. If he had it his way, he'd lead me all over the store from opening to close. He's too large to stuff into a shopping cart and while he does fit in one - it's a pain getting him in and out! So he walks now.
Today I didn't have his harness with me and was hoping that by some stroke of luck - he'd feel uncomfortable not holding his handle of his harness and stick closer.
For the most part - yeah he did!
So we're in the grocery store for diapers, snacks and sandwich meat. Because every night before bed - he has a toasted ham and pepperoni sandwich with butter. Sometimes if he didn't eat a lot of supper - he'll also have a couple sliced tomatoes.
Anyways, we went into the sandwich meat aisle and he got excited and immediately went to take a look. It was pretty cute, I must say!
I guided him to the ham section and he was looking at 3 packages (all different brands) and began to actually point at one. So I picked it up for him and he looked at it and wanted to look at the other two as well. That was fine by me - as he wasn't tossing them, biting the package or sniffing/licking them either.
He finally picked the third package - which was store branded ham and didn't quite know what to do with it. I asked him if he wanted that ham for his sandwiches and he looked at it, did his happy dance (fist closed, looking at the package and not screaming but appearing content) and I told him to put it in the basket.
He looked at me like I had 5 heads. So I guided his hand into the basket with the ham and he let it go.
I'm trying to practice the whole "Praise the kids 10x over publicly" and really cheered him on in the chilly meat aisle. He seemed happy, reached for my hand and we walked on.
I instantly thought, "What else might he like that he could easily lift into a basket?!"
So we did a lap around the store and he didn't drag me anywhere specific, so he probably figured we were done.
Then I remembered that we were out of apple juice (the boys don't seem to be fans of my fresh apple juice from the juicer...) and I brought him there. He looked around and when I pointed at the regular juice containers we normally get, he got excited (little bit of hopping, flapping hands and smiling) - and then he took my hand and placed it on a carton.
I told him no, he had to put it in the basket. He's not usually allowed to handle juice cartons at home - to prevent making messes - so he was a bit shy.
I encouraged him as best as I could and separated one carton from the rest and he picked it up and turned it around a few times.
I held the basket out to him and he put it in nicely.
I almost started crying.
It's the little things like this that show me, as a parent, he has real potential to learn some life skills. Sure he might not speak, have and care for a pet, or play on an official sports team or join the local hobby clubs...but if he can show me at the age of 4, that he can express interest in what he wants - and put it in a basket with me - then I have a better peace of mind for his future.
So I guess he'll be going grocery shopping with me a lot more in the future...and I'm kind of excited to work on this new life skill with him.
Honestly, 6-12 months ago - I would never think such a thing!! But I'm trying to stay positive! :)
BIMU
PS Funny story about grocery shopping after picking him up from overnight care:
We walked home (as mentioned above) and immediately hopped on a bus to go across town to get some little things. I figured it'd be wiser to take the longest route because then it would give him time to calm down after realizing we were not going to go straight home to watch a movie.
He handled things quite well - ate a chicken nugget meal at the burger joint there and was very calm.
So calm in fact, that while I was paying, he found a nice tattooed teenaged girl to be friends with.
He kept following her and trying to hold her hand...which sounds really sweet and innocent...but if you're new and holding his hand - there's usually some sniffing involved.
And of course, the overnight care staff had just advised us that he started to bite people again when he's mad.
Not that he was mad while trying to grab this poor girl's hand...
And where was I? Paying for my groceries...and stuffing them in my bag...and when I saw what he was doing - trying my hardest not to pee myself.
Sorry tattooed confused teenage girl.
If you enjoy reading my blog and these little funny "PS" at the end - check out my Facebook page for regular updates that are often, too short for their own blog posts!
Thursday, 28 August 2014
My Jogging Journal: Day 1 - Complete
I was running a bit behind today with picking up A-Man but as soon as I got home, I asked V-Man if he wanted to go jogging.
He probably didn't hear my sentence but the words, "Do you want to go..." and off he went. He grabbed his sneakers and shoved them into my hand and waited for me to put them on his feet.
I swapped my clothes out for dark pants and a loose grey t-shirt and off we went.
V-Man ensured he had his harness and a block in his hand and we started walking and having occasional running spurts. He didn't really try to run away from me and we managed to figure out a pace that was our own.
I have never jogged before. I don't think little spurts of running with the dogs to get home faster (baby's starving or I need the bathroom or it's about to pour) count...but anyway.
We left at 4:40pm and didn't come back inside until 5:05pm. It was more walking fast going into the woods and I think that's mostly because V-Man had no idea what we were doing. Probably he was super confused since we didn't get on a bus (one of his new favourite things).
He would test my limit by going from a quick-paced walk to a full on run and I caught up with him and because I didn't scold him or shout for him to stop - he really enjoyed himself.
I made sure I held his hand or wrist the whole time (as he now seeks comfort in holding his own harness handle and I respect that as long as he stays near me or I can hold his hand or wrist) - and we had a pretty good time.
I'll do the same thing tomorrow and go the same route for a few days and then I plan to extend our route little by little - return the same way of course (mostly so we don't get lost in the woods) - so he gets comfortable and try to get him to understand that we're running for fun and we try to make this a routine.
On the way home, when I told him we were going home, he dashed. He knows what going home meant and it's his favourite part.
We used to get so angry at him for running away - mostly because he wanted to go home as soon as we entered the woods...but today, I was happy with our jog/walk and I really didn't expect both of us to go for as long as we did!!
Of course, we both have to figure out our paces together and I'm pretty much letting him call the shots. If he doesn't want to run for awhile, that's fine. If he wants to stand and look at the clouds float by for a minute or two - that's alright too...as long as we get back home...
If he wants to run out of the woods like a zoo is chasing him home - then that's alright with me!!
My main concerns were that we get exercise, hang out together, he's safe (today he tried to run across a highway while we waited for a bus and of course it was rush hour!) and we have fun.
I don't know why I thought he was super tired after - maybe because I was panting and red...a bit drippy too...but he walked inside the flat, kicked off his sneakers and began to jump on the sofa.
It's like we didn't just go jalking/wogging for nearly half an hour!!!
I'm currently hunting around for some second-hand (gently-used) clothing so I don't have to spend an arm and a leg on work-out clothes to sweat in...but despite the burn I felt after - it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be and I did learn that I'm in slightly better shape than I thought...but I still need to get some work done!!
So here's to another day!!
BIMU
He probably didn't hear my sentence but the words, "Do you want to go..." and off he went. He grabbed his sneakers and shoved them into my hand and waited for me to put them on his feet.
I swapped my clothes out for dark pants and a loose grey t-shirt and off we went.
V-Man ensured he had his harness and a block in his hand and we started walking and having occasional running spurts. He didn't really try to run away from me and we managed to figure out a pace that was our own.
I have never jogged before. I don't think little spurts of running with the dogs to get home faster (baby's starving or I need the bathroom or it's about to pour) count...but anyway.
We left at 4:40pm and didn't come back inside until 5:05pm. It was more walking fast going into the woods and I think that's mostly because V-Man had no idea what we were doing. Probably he was super confused since we didn't get on a bus (one of his new favourite things).
He would test my limit by going from a quick-paced walk to a full on run and I caught up with him and because I didn't scold him or shout for him to stop - he really enjoyed himself.
I made sure I held his hand or wrist the whole time (as he now seeks comfort in holding his own harness handle and I respect that as long as he stays near me or I can hold his hand or wrist) - and we had a pretty good time.
I'll do the same thing tomorrow and go the same route for a few days and then I plan to extend our route little by little - return the same way of course (mostly so we don't get lost in the woods) - so he gets comfortable and try to get him to understand that we're running for fun and we try to make this a routine.
On the way home, when I told him we were going home, he dashed. He knows what going home meant and it's his favourite part.
We used to get so angry at him for running away - mostly because he wanted to go home as soon as we entered the woods...but today, I was happy with our jog/walk and I really didn't expect both of us to go for as long as we did!!
Of course, we both have to figure out our paces together and I'm pretty much letting him call the shots. If he doesn't want to run for awhile, that's fine. If he wants to stand and look at the clouds float by for a minute or two - that's alright too...as long as we get back home...
If he wants to run out of the woods like a zoo is chasing him home - then that's alright with me!!
My main concerns were that we get exercise, hang out together, he's safe (today he tried to run across a highway while we waited for a bus and of course it was rush hour!) and we have fun.
I don't know why I thought he was super tired after - maybe because I was panting and red...a bit drippy too...but he walked inside the flat, kicked off his sneakers and began to jump on the sofa.
It's like we didn't just go jalking/wogging for nearly half an hour!!!
I'm currently hunting around for some second-hand (gently-used) clothing so I don't have to spend an arm and a leg on work-out clothes to sweat in...but despite the burn I felt after - it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be and I did learn that I'm in slightly better shape than I thought...but I still need to get some work done!!
So here's to another day!!
BIMU
Saturday, 19 July 2014
Typical Meal Times
Today is Sunday which means shops aren't open until 12pm. This sucks because it just so happens that we're out of bread and V-Man had a freak out because we didn't have a toasted peanut butter sandwich cut in four triangles ready within five minutes of him waking up.
So I thought he could show me what he'd like to eat instead.
(Baking bread in the bread machine is a no go as he doesn't like it!)
He went to the pantry and pulled out a box of jumbo oats repeatedly.
I know he doesn't like oatmeal (porridge), but thought I'd give it to him anyway.
Guess what? He refused it and started to gag and puke once I got a teaspoonful into his mouth.
He screamed and cried and gagged. Then he went back to that pantry and pulled down the same f-ing box of jumbo oats.
So there's only so much you can do...and we were out of bacon (another favorite)..so I grabbed a rice cake smothered it in peanut butter and gave it to him and he was happy as a pig in sh*t.
This isn't the first time he's done this -cried and screamed for food he won't eat...or I make him bland food like the daycare and he refused to eat that too.
It's annoying and frustrating and pushes my patience over the edge and then some.
I'm not the picture of everlasting patience, I assure you!!
I'm the parent who screeches back in anger and feels like crap because I can't feed my child what he wants because I stupidly forgot a loaf of bread.
Anyways, this is just a typical meal time in the household...and by 12pm, we'll be on our way to get more bread...
BIMU
So I thought he could show me what he'd like to eat instead.
(Baking bread in the bread machine is a no go as he doesn't like it!)
He went to the pantry and pulled out a box of jumbo oats repeatedly.
I know he doesn't like oatmeal (porridge), but thought I'd give it to him anyway.
Guess what? He refused it and started to gag and puke once I got a teaspoonful into his mouth.
He screamed and cried and gagged. Then he went back to that pantry and pulled down the same f-ing box of jumbo oats.
So there's only so much you can do...and we were out of bacon (another favorite)..so I grabbed a rice cake smothered it in peanut butter and gave it to him and he was happy as a pig in sh*t.
This isn't the first time he's done this -cried and screamed for food he won't eat...or I make him bland food like the daycare and he refused to eat that too.
It's annoying and frustrating and pushes my patience over the edge and then some.
I'm not the picture of everlasting patience, I assure you!!
I'm the parent who screeches back in anger and feels like crap because I can't feed my child what he wants because I stupidly forgot a loaf of bread.
Anyways, this is just a typical meal time in the household...and by 12pm, we'll be on our way to get more bread...
BIMU
Tuesday, 15 July 2014
Hey Nuggets...Goodbye Fries
So ever since V-Man was little, he loved fries. Those greasy salty yellow sticks of potato (NOT wedges) were his best friends. Always tasting the same and reliable in texture.
The ultimate favorite food and thanks to the likes of McDonalds, available pretty much everywhere in the world. Which is so handy when you're traveling!
But a couple weeks ago, it stopped. He refused fries and we honestly thought he was ill.
He refused his hamburger and decided to steal my nuggets and since then, has rejected fries everytime we went out.
I'm going to try to make my own nuggets, now that I've discovered panko (Japanese-style bread crumbs) and own a small deep fryer.
I tried oven baked before but he wasn't a huge fan...but considering he just ate two whole tomatoes in less than five minutes...a new food!...he'd probably eat baked chicken nuggets.
Which would make me feel healthier and happier!!
Today I caved and took him to eat nuggets and apple juice and because nuggets are cooked when ordered...we had to wait.
A whole 5 minutes wait is torture for V-Man.
He was onto melt down number two of the day and I was getting impatient.
He screeched as if he was getting his teeth pulled without anesthesia...and because autism isn't necessarily something physically obvious - people stare. And they give dirty looks at me, as if to say with their beady little eyes, "Your child is out of control. Why won't he listen to you? Clearly your parenting skills are lacking."
Two tweens (is that what a child is called these days? Between about 9-12 years old) were staring and whispering behind their hands while staring at my 4-year old spread "Autism awareness" and at first, I just focused on him and trying to keep him calm.
When that clearly wasn't working - I gave them my, "You should turn your arses around and start walking" face. With a hint of, "Quit your whispers - it's pretty damn obvious" lifted eyebrow.
They stopped whispering and suddenly became quite interested in the television nearby.
I don't think I'm as bold as to go up to someone and tell them to go beep themselves...but anyway.
In more positive news today - V-Man ate a good sized portion of spaghetti by himself and with a fork!!
It's the little things - right? :)
BIMU
PS Totally not related - but currently watching Homeland, season 2...sooooooo good!
The ultimate favorite food and thanks to the likes of McDonalds, available pretty much everywhere in the world. Which is so handy when you're traveling!
But a couple weeks ago, it stopped. He refused fries and we honestly thought he was ill.
He refused his hamburger and decided to steal my nuggets and since then, has rejected fries everytime we went out.
I'm going to try to make my own nuggets, now that I've discovered panko (Japanese-style bread crumbs) and own a small deep fryer.
I tried oven baked before but he wasn't a huge fan...but considering he just ate two whole tomatoes in less than five minutes...a new food!...he'd probably eat baked chicken nuggets.
Which would make me feel healthier and happier!!
Today I caved and took him to eat nuggets and apple juice and because nuggets are cooked when ordered...we had to wait.
A whole 5 minutes wait is torture for V-Man.
He was onto melt down number two of the day and I was getting impatient.
He screeched as if he was getting his teeth pulled without anesthesia...and because autism isn't necessarily something physically obvious - people stare. And they give dirty looks at me, as if to say with their beady little eyes, "Your child is out of control. Why won't he listen to you? Clearly your parenting skills are lacking."
Two tweens (is that what a child is called these days? Between about 9-12 years old) were staring and whispering behind their hands while staring at my 4-year old spread "Autism awareness" and at first, I just focused on him and trying to keep him calm.
When that clearly wasn't working - I gave them my, "You should turn your arses around and start walking" face. With a hint of, "Quit your whispers - it's pretty damn obvious" lifted eyebrow.
They stopped whispering and suddenly became quite interested in the television nearby.
I don't think I'm as bold as to go up to someone and tell them to go beep themselves...but anyway.
In more positive news today - V-Man ate a good sized portion of spaghetti by himself and with a fork!!
It's the little things - right? :)
BIMU
PS Totally not related - but currently watching Homeland, season 2...sooooooo good!
Thursday, 10 July 2014
Our Friend Autism
I'm currently watching GI Joe 2: Retaliation and thought I would blog at the same time.
So - Autism...what a guy.
Not a medical professional - just a parent sharing our experiences!
Did you know that autism affects boys more than girls? That's not to say you can't have an autistic female - no way. But the rates are much higher for boys...like 4:1.
And we're a family that has one of those boys...the numbers are increasing all over the world everyday - both males and females of course - and let me tell ya...
We have a child that wasn't diagnosed until he was 2 (which is pretty young and earlier is better!) and we tried every single thing possible to figure out why he wouldn't listen. Why he constantly freaked out whenever we met friends (both regular visitors and non) and why traveling was so difficult...why V-Man only ate bananas in big chunks, crackers, yoghurt and French fries...no other fruit and no vegetables and barely any meat.
Signs we thought he might be autistic?
Now that he's nearing 5, has there been much change?
Within the last two years, he's changed day-cares once. The first day-care he went to, he had an assistant and it was a "regular" day-care. He liked it there quite a bit but they weren't entirely equipped to handle a child with special needs and I do thank them for trying!!!
He was able to transfer to a specialized day-care, has a different assistant and they have worked miracles with him.
V-Man now eats or at least tries new foods and if he likes it a lot - your plate will be empty before you know it.
He's beginning to socialize a bit more with A-Man - tonight they were running around back and forth chasing each other.
Super Hubby put M-Girl near him and instead of pushing her away, he decided to push SH away because he understood and realized that she's only able to touch him and pat him if someone else is holding her.
He can request things with photos and has created a bond with his speech therapist and occupational therapists - and of course, his assistant.
And while I constantly hear and read about all these fantastic people with Autism do some pretty superb things - I am fully aware that my V-Man may never do those things. It took me awhile and I stressed a lot about it, I assure you!
Things like:
Especially since we got the lovely diagnosis recently of "mental retardation" - which I don't take as offensive, although many of my friends did at first. But it's a scientific medical term and it's one I've come to accept. We have a meeting in about a month and I plan to inquire about his development and what are his chances of being able to achieve any of those things above.
It doesn't mean we'll love or care any more or less - it's just a way of being prepared.
So to our Friend - Autism - quite often I stick both middle fingers up at you and think that there can't possibly be anything worse - but I think of other families who lose little ones and I shut my trap.
And who knows, perhaps his talents of ripping and destroying everything will come in handy at a job interview some day. :)
Well, I suppose it's time for me to get on with my day - I really need to finish up a crocheted sun hat...and from there crash for the night! :)
Thanks for reading,
BIMU
PS: One of my favourite blogs currently that I follow on Facebook, is Autism Daddy. While our sons differ in age and family situations do too - I applaud his hard work as a parent, husband and a blogger and strongly recommend taking a peek at his blog.
So - Autism...what a guy.
Not a medical professional - just a parent sharing our experiences!
Did you know that autism affects boys more than girls? That's not to say you can't have an autistic female - no way. But the rates are much higher for boys...like 4:1.
And we're a family that has one of those boys...the numbers are increasing all over the world everyday - both males and females of course - and let me tell ya...
We have a child that wasn't diagnosed until he was 2 (which is pretty young and earlier is better!) and we tried every single thing possible to figure out why he wouldn't listen. Why he constantly freaked out whenever we met friends (both regular visitors and non) and why traveling was so difficult...why V-Man only ate bananas in big chunks, crackers, yoghurt and French fries...no other fruit and no vegetables and barely any meat.
Signs we thought he might be autistic?
- Restricted and picky diet
- Flapping hands
- Not speaking at all
- Walking on tippy toes
- Loads of ear infections (to the point he got tubes inserted in his ears this past year - totally made a difference!!)
- Constantly jumping and bouncing about
- Not listening
- Feeling very little pain - no matter how badly he hurt himself!!
- Lack of eye contact
- No awareness of danger (running into the streets and refusing to hold our hands)
- He constantly ran away - so we constantly had to find playgrounds that were completely fenced in.
- Could watch the same movies over and over again... I mean we're on our second copy of "Cars", second copies of "Madagascar 1&2" and "Shrek 1-3")
- Introducing a new movie was (and still is) quite difficult!
- Wouldn't play with toys, read books or imitate...imagine - none of it.
- Not potty-trained and won't try it. I started with him at age 5 months and by 9 months, thanks to an infection on his tush - refused to sit on the potty since.
Now that he's nearing 5, has there been much change?
Within the last two years, he's changed day-cares once. The first day-care he went to, he had an assistant and it was a "regular" day-care. He liked it there quite a bit but they weren't entirely equipped to handle a child with special needs and I do thank them for trying!!!
He was able to transfer to a specialized day-care, has a different assistant and they have worked miracles with him.
V-Man now eats or at least tries new foods and if he likes it a lot - your plate will be empty before you know it.
He's beginning to socialize a bit more with A-Man - tonight they were running around back and forth chasing each other.
Super Hubby put M-Girl near him and instead of pushing her away, he decided to push SH away because he understood and realized that she's only able to touch him and pat him if someone else is holding her.
He can request things with photos and has created a bond with his speech therapist and occupational therapists - and of course, his assistant.
And while I constantly hear and read about all these fantastic people with Autism do some pretty superb things - I am fully aware that my V-Man may never do those things. It took me awhile and I stressed a lot about it, I assure you!
Things like:
- Tie his shoes
- Go to college or university
- Have a relationship
- Have children or even a dog I can call a grandchild/pup! (Cats are fine too of course.)
- Have a career or job
- Drive a car
- Ride a bike
- Get a hair cut at the barber's (I currently am the Queen of the clippers...just a buzz cut before it gets too long)
- Stick up for himself when bullying becomes an issue
- Cook or even prepare the simplest of meals (aka peel a banana or spread butter on toast)
- Live on his own
- Speak
- Say "I love you!"
- Ask "Why?" a million times over
Especially since we got the lovely diagnosis recently of "mental retardation" - which I don't take as offensive, although many of my friends did at first. But it's a scientific medical term and it's one I've come to accept. We have a meeting in about a month and I plan to inquire about his development and what are his chances of being able to achieve any of those things above.
It doesn't mean we'll love or care any more or less - it's just a way of being prepared.
So to our Friend - Autism - quite often I stick both middle fingers up at you and think that there can't possibly be anything worse - but I think of other families who lose little ones and I shut my trap.
And who knows, perhaps his talents of ripping and destroying everything will come in handy at a job interview some day. :)
Well, I suppose it's time for me to get on with my day - I really need to finish up a crocheted sun hat...and from there crash for the night! :)
Thanks for reading,
BIMU
PS: One of my favourite blogs currently that I follow on Facebook, is Autism Daddy. While our sons differ in age and family situations do too - I applaud his hard work as a parent, husband and a blogger and strongly recommend taking a peek at his blog.
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