Our Friend Autism

I'm currently watching GI Joe 2: Retaliation and thought I would blog at the same time.
So - Autism...what a guy.
Not a medical professional - just a parent sharing our experiences!
Did you know that autism affects boys more than girls?  That's not to say you can't have an autistic female - no way.  But the rates are much higher for boys...like 4:1.
And we're a family that has one of those boys...the numbers are increasing all over the world everyday - both males and females of course - and let me tell ya...

We have a child that wasn't diagnosed until he was 2 (which is pretty young and earlier is better!) and we tried every single thing possible to figure out why he wouldn't listen.  Why he constantly freaked out whenever we met friends (both regular visitors and non) and why traveling was so difficult...why V-Man only ate bananas in big chunks, crackers, yoghurt and French fries...no other fruit and no vegetables and barely any meat.

Signs we thought he might be autistic?

• Restricted and picky diet
• Flapping hands
• Not speaking at all
• Walking on tippy toes
• Loads of ear infections (to the point he got tubes inserted in his ears this past year - totally made a difference!!)
• Constantly jumping and bouncing about 
• Not listening
• Feeling very little pain - no matter how badly he hurt himself!!
• Lack of eye contact
• No awareness of danger (running into the streets and refusing to hold our hands)
• He constantly ran away - so we constantly had to find playgrounds that were completely fenced in.
• Could watch the same movies over and over again... I mean we're on our second copy of "Cars", second copies of "Madagascar 1&2" and "Shrek 1-3")
• Introducing a new movie was (and still is) quite difficult!
• Wouldn't play with toys, read books or imitate...imagine - none of it. 
• Not potty-trained and won't try it.  I started with him at age 5 months and by 9 months, thanks to an infection on his tush - refused to sit on the potty since.

When we brought this up during his 2-year old check-up, they agreed with us and we immediately began speech therapy - the practicing of PECS (Picture Exchange Communication System), had some assessments with psychologists, occupational therapists and other hospital staff.

Now that he's nearing 5, has there been much change?
Within the last two years, he's changed day-cares once.  The first day-care he went to, he had an assistant and it was a "regular" day-care.  He liked it there quite a bit but they weren't entirely equipped to handle a child with special needs and I do thank them for trying!!!
He was able to transfer to a specialized day-care, has a different assistant and they have worked miracles with him.

V-Man now eats or at least tries new foods and if he likes it a lot - your plate will be empty before you know it.
He's beginning to socialize a bit more with A-Man - tonight they were running around back and forth chasing each other.
Super Hubby put M-Girl near him and instead of pushing her away, he decided to push SH away because he understood and realized that she's only able to touch him and pat him if someone else is holding her.
He can request things with photos and has created a bond with his speech therapist and occupational therapists - and of course, his assistant.

And while I constantly hear and read about all these fantastic people with Autism do some pretty superb things - I am fully aware that my V-Man may never do those things.  It took me awhile and I stressed a lot about it, I assure you!
Things like:

• Tie his shoes
• Go to college or university
• Have a relationship
• Have children or even a dog I can call a grandchild/pup! (Cats are fine too of course.)
• Have a career or job
• Drive a car
• Ride a bike
• Get a hair cut at the barber's (I currently am the Queen of the clippers...just a buzz cut before it gets too long)
• Stick up for himself when bullying becomes an issue
• Cook or even prepare the simplest of meals (aka peel a banana or spread butter on toast)
• Live on his own
• Speak
• Say "I love you!"
• Ask "Why?" a million times over

Thankfully, we currently are getting loads of help - which I'll blog about at a later time - but these are still little things that when I'm really tired and grumpy - I mull it over and get all mopey about.
Especially since we got the lovely diagnosis recently of "mental retardation" - which I don't take as offensive, although many of my friends did at first.  But it's a scientific medical term and it's one I've come to accept.  We have a meeting in about a month and I plan to inquire about his development and what are his chances of being able to achieve any of those things above.
It doesn't mean we'll love or care any more or less - it's just a way of being prepared.

So to our Friend - Autism - quite often I stick both middle fingers up at you and think that there can't possibly be anything worse - but I think of other families who lose little ones and I shut my trap.
And who knows, perhaps his talents of ripping and destroying everything will come in handy at a job interview some day. :)

Well, I suppose it's time for me to get on with my day - I really need to finish up a crocheted sun hat...and from there crash for the night! :)
Thanks for reading,
BIMU

PS: One of my favourite blogs currently that I follow on Facebook, is Autism Daddy.  While our sons differ in age and family situations do too - I applaud his hard work as a parent, husband and a blogger and strongly recommend taking a peek at his blog.