A Side of Autism: (Fake) Dog Therapy

For the past three weeks or so, it's been Hell here.

Every morning and every afternoon when V-Man has to go to day-care or come home - he's been assuming his boulder position and screaming his head off.

For some odd reason, which we cannot figure out - V-Man has been freaking out about the hallway.

Every weekday is the same (unless he's at overnight care).

1. Wake up
2. Brush teeth and wash face
3. Get a diaper change and put on clothing.
4. Get dressed and go to wait for the taxi to pick him up at 7:30 - usually it's more like 7:25 because they know he's usually early.
5. Go to daycare.
6. Come back and someone is waiting for him at about 3:07 in the afternoon.
7. Go upstairs and get un-dressed.
8. Have a snack and a movie while Mommy makes supper.

But lately he's screaming and fighting at 4 and 7.  I know the neighbours don't mind because they are all very much aware that V-Man is autistic and because it's not in the middle of the night.  But I worry and don't want him to wake other people up!  Our neighbours are mostly senior citizens with the exception of the family beneath us. :)
We've tried everything.  We tried giving him his favourite cereal bars or rice cakes to take with him - which normally worked before - but nope.

We tried giving him a small toy or thing to hold - so he can play with it with his fingertips.  Nope.

He just doesn't want to seem to go out or come back inside!

And let's not forget, walking TO overnight care (approximately 15 minutes walk away) is also a hassle.  He's happy as a pig in mud once we get there - but en route is another story.

So I had this idea...

Our nearly 8-year old, Loki.
Photo taken by a local newspaper a couple years ago.

What if I brought Loki with us to wait for the taxi?

The taxi wait time is rarely more than five-minutes long and that's usually drivers that aren't familiar with our neighbourhood and get lost.  Because today's driver didn't show up until about 7:32, as opposed to the regular 7:25.

However, perhaps V-Man just needs something familiar to go with him down the stairs (no elevator and it's only just under 3 floors) and back up again.

So he started moaning and mildly freaking out when I put my coat on and his boots.  I grabbed his booster seat and back pack and V-Man's eyes darted towards the dog when I called him over and grabbed his leash.

This is not part of the regular schedule! he must have been thinking.  Yeah no kidding.

So I opened the door, prepared for V-Man's immediate scream fest and guess what?

It didn't happen!

V-Man looked at Loki on a leash and bolted down the stairs.  Every flight, he'd stop and look back to make sure I Loki was still following and then he'd keep going down the stairs.

Not a peep.  Not a screech or a moan or a yell.

Then we got to the door and V-Man started fussing a bit - flapping his hands and frowning and starting to moan and I told him calmly that Loki was still there and guided his free hand to pet Loki. Then we waited outside quietly.

IT WAS AMAZING!  I wish I had my phone with me to take some photos but it was charging upstairs.  I'll try later this afternoon.

It was honestly to the point that I was loving him being away at overnight care far more than I should - simply because I didn't have to fight with him to get into a taxi or out of it!

Of course this just happened this morning and we'll see what happens this afternoon when I pick him up with Loki!
But hopefully this works out for everyone and Loki doesn't seem to mind going up and down the stairs.

It's been proven on a regular basis that pets in general can help (most) autistic children (and adults) with social skills.  However, there's nobody to socialize with at 7:25am and often the yard is empty and the hallways too at 3:07pm.

So I don't know what is in the hallway that's getting V-Man freaked out but I am very grateful to have a dog that seems to understand V-Man is different than the other kids and has the patience to walk at his pace down the stairs and (hopefully) back up.

From the beginning, the dogs (Blue shown below) have known I was pregnant with the V-Man, before I did, and when he was born - they have acted as constant support.

Photo Credit to Keski-Suomalainen newspaper

For the first week or two - they would take turns just staring at the baby and give tiny barks if he cried.

I had a horrible first post-labour heal time - I'm talking at least 6 months  (!) and Blue would be with me in the bathroom as I cried and Loki would be with SH and the V-Man.

Loki with M-Girl - she was 2 days old.

As V-Man got older - I suppose the dogs also sensed that V-Man was autistic before we did as well - and treated him carefully.  They never bulldozed him over and pinned him down with kisses - as many dogs would with most kids.  They never jumped on him once and he's almost five.

They never, ever demanded attention from him - like they do from us and from A-Man and M-Girl.

It's not something I thought about - until now.

Because they're medium-large-ish dogs, they also have a higher physical tolerance of V-Man.  There are times that V-Man is driving his bony toes under their sides on the sofa, as they lie there - usually Blue at his feet - and Blue doesn't budge.

There's times that V-Man will go and pet them on his own and they don't drown him in kisses. Maybe one kiss - but nothing more.

There are also times that V-Man will lie on a dog or sit on one and if the dogs find it uncomfortable - they just get up and leave.  V-Man wasn't bouncing or pinching the dog.  I guess that's his way of seeking a bond and a connection.

Blue with A-Man - he was 2 days old.

I'll be the first to tell you that my dogs would fail horribly if tested to be qualified therapy dogs.

They don't bite - so that's a bonus.

But they steal food, might occasionally jump and love people so much that they can drown them in kisses on their own unless stopped with a verbal command.  They also would pull if they saw another dog, squirrel or hare.  

They also shed like crazy in the warmer months (a true sign that spring is coming!) - so probably not ideal for taking them with us to restaurants, hospitals etc...

However, if they can do something so simple as go up and down the stairs so V-Man feels confident and brave to tackle the doom of the stairwell - then that's good enough for us.

BIMU

Waiting for V-Man.

PS: Unfortunately my photo of V-Man coming home from the hospital is on an old computer that's no longer usable.  Or on a memory card buried somewhere.
PPS: V-Man sat on the potty yesterday - didn't do anything - but he sat on it for all of 30 seconds! :)

UPDATE:  Picked up the V-Man with Loki waiting and at first he was refusing to get out of the taxi.  Of course he was on the opposite side and couldn't see the dog.  But once he got out - he ran over and started to touch the leash!  And quietly and calmly - went up the stairs with Loki tailing him.

SH came home at the same time -but I think it's really Loki making V-Man happy to go inside.

BIMU Interviews: Artist Lise Richardson!

Every now and again, I'll try to find someone to interview and pop them into my blog! :)

My first interview is with a young local artist in Central Finland, named Lise Richardson. We met through a crafting group and Lise is actually the one who designed my lovely header on this blog! Enjoy! BIMU

Freija on the left and Lise on the right!

Have you always been artistic as a child?? I'm a 21 year old illustrator. I think it's fair to say I was always the arty child of any given group. I went through packets after packets of printer paper - drawing ponies and other cute animals as any little girl would.

You're half Finnish and half British...which side do you feel most comfortable with? (I.e. English was language vs Finnish, British comedy vs Finnish television, cultural lifestyle comparison or preferences). Well well... Without "siding" with one half, I have to say I find it easier to express myself in English, and I'm a big fan of British television in general. That's not to say Finland hasn't got a lot going for it, because there's plenty I miss whenever I leave (rye bread and Karelian pasties, mainly). I think eventually it'd be nice to live in England again simply because there's a lot going on all the time in arts and culture, which is something I'd love to be more involved with. Here it's not quite so easy to connect with other artists, or actually people at all come to think of it, but maybe in a way that's quite nice in it's own way - I like my own space like anybody with Finnish blood! 

Favorite drawing techniques these days?? Apart from drawing outlines for paintings, I mainly only draw in the strictest sense of the term when I'm illustrating my blog (Pawprints to Bath). This changes every now and again of course, I've been painting a lot for the past six months but I may move onto other techniques again soon - that's the great thing about being an artist, you can switch whenever you want. 

Worst experience with ____ tool (pen, paint whichever)? Since I mainly work in watercolour at the moment, the absolute worst thing that can happen is spilling your mixing water on a painting. This happens more often than I care to admit!

What do you think the artists of the past (Van Gogh, Monet, Picasso etc) would think if they saw the art of today?? (I.e. The different techniques, especially digital.) I think perhaps some would find today's art a bit in-your-face, maybe even obscene if you consider what a leap it is from the work of Van Gogh to somebody contemporary like Damien Hirst or Tracey Emin. On the other hand I reckon somebody like Picasso would be really interested in all the artists of today who've been inspired by his own work, and perhaps might even find digital art not to be too far from the traditional media of his own time. After all, it's the same basic idea whether traditional or digital, you're trying to create something worth looking at.

You have a huge love for dogs, if you could have any breed or create a mixed breed -what would it be?? Right now I'm completely obsessed with terriers, I just LOVE beardy dogs! Skye and Sealyham terriers are some of my favourites. 

Tell us a bit about your two gals, Kara and Freija? Aww my girls. Kara is my eleven year old, grumpy but glam lady of the house. The essential Tibetan spaniel really. She's been a source of inspiration for essentially me entire art career. Freija is my little yorkiepoo buddy, she's been around for nearly five years now and she really makes me laugh. She's quite popular online, the little weirdo!

A recent piece done by Lise of her other dog, Kara.

Do you only draw, and recently crochet??  I suppose you could say I do a bit of everything, I do like trying my hand at all manner of techniques. I paint A LOT in gouache these days, more so than anything else, but my sets of colouring pencils HAVE been catching my eye lately...

How long does it take to design an image for a single greeting card?   My new range of cards is fun since I can manage a design or two in a day - the hard part is coming up with good captions!

Where can these cards be found in Finland?? Do you sell them outside of Finland too? Right now my only stockist is Harjun Paperi here in Jyväskylä, where they sell my Scenic Dogs-range of postcards. For all my newer designs plus greeting cards, art prints and gift items, pop over to my Etsy shop!

Look familiar?
Kara being her glam self! :)

Freija as well!

Do you have a favorite art museum? My absolute favourite art museum has to be the Towner in Eastbourne, England. I go there whenever I'm in town and there's always something interesting to see, old and new.

Is there a particular art style or artist that inspires you? I'm fascinated by artists from the turn of the century and the late 1800s. Lately I've been really into the work of James Tissot and Edmund Blair Leighton, but I suppose one of my main influences over the years has been the Art Nouveu movement. I find modern art perhaps slightly less accessible, but Pop art in itself and especially Kitsch has definitely had a big impact on my own work and themes.

Many governments, are cutting back on funding to the arts departments. How do you feel about this?? It's not good, to say the least. Art and culture is just as important as any other field, and it's a real shame the governments of many countries aren't prepared to invest in it. I know that it's tough for everybody, but I do wish something could be done to really boost the backing for art.

Where did you complete your studies? I finished my vocational degree in 2013 at Jyväskylä Educational Consortium in Petäjävesi, near Jyväskylä. I'd switched from Hyvinkää Art School halfway through my studies, but both places had a lot to teach me in both fine art and photography.
If you could have done your studies anywhere in the world, where would you have gone? I think getting my first degree here in Finland was a good choice (partly because I got to do an exchange work experience trip to my English home, Eastbourne) it's free and I got to see what I liked and didn't like in the broad field of art and photography. This year I'll be moving to Bath in England to start my BA in graphic communication, so we'll see how that compares!

When you aren't drawing or crocheting doggies, what are you more than likely doing??  Haha, nothing particularly exciting I'm afraid - I'll be walking the dogs or watching Heartbeat with my mum. Terribly domestic, I know! I also read a lot, detective stories and classics mainly.

If you won a million euros, what would you do with it?? Gosh, there's a thought. I'd probably start up a shop-come-gallery to sell my work and perhaps get some other artists involved too. That'd be the sensible thing to do. What's left from that I'd use on box sets, books, and antiques. I love antiques.

If you weren't an artist, what would be your next choice of career? Oddly I've never thought of myself as anything other than an artist. I used to volunteer at Marie Curie Cancer Care's charity shop back in Eastbourne, and I quite enjoyed pretending to be a shopkeeper, so perhaps I'd work in an antiques shop or something.

What's one technique or craft you do now but would like to better yourself in? I'm quite happy with my results in gouache, but there's also lots I can improve on - that's fine by me though, I'm happy as long as I'm learning.

What's one you'd like to learn?? I love learning new techniques and crafts, I really enjoyed learning crochet last year (I've not had time to do it a lot this year, but it's a lot of fun), and perhaps other traditional crafts would be interesting to try. I've done a little bit of screen-printing in art school years ago, and that's one thing I'm keen to learn properly too!

You're very young, and accomplishing a lot! What do you see yourself doing in five years? Ten and more? I suppose my main wish is to be creating art like I do now, and have others enjoying it and preferably buying my work! I'd really love to get out there and have my art recognised. That studio would be a plus, too!

What is something you want people to know about you and your work? Perhaps that I put a lot of love into everything I create, and that I really hope people can see that, and enjoy it as much as I do. What sort of advice would you give to someone wanting to be an artist? I think the key to being an artist is not taking yourself too seriously; do the thing you love, and be the best you can be. Every artist mucks up occasionally, the main thing is to convince everybody that yes, of course it's meant to look like that! Oh, and it doesn't hurt to get in with other artists, go and make some connections, you'll thank yourself later.

Favourite food, colour, ice cream flavor, 90's boy band, curse word? Avocado toast, pastel pink, peanut butter, Westlife, wanker.

Favourite book and movie you could watch non stop? Wuthering Heights, and Withnail & I.

Also, if you could meet any celebrity in the world, who would it be? Ricky Wilson (of the Kaiser Chiefs)

What are the best and worst things to give to an artist? Best: original artwork from an artist they love. Worst: tacky art supplies like pens from the petrol station

Best and worst things to say to an artist: Best: any real compliment like saying they adore the work. Worst: I personally find it a bit iffy when people call my work "striking".

Best song that describes you:  Eez-eh by Kasabian

You can find Lise on a variety of social media, I'll even link it for you below! Her Etsy Shop

Facebook

Pawprints to Bath - a blog about her soon to be adventure of moving back to study in the UK with Freija!

LiseRichardson.com - her main page which gives you access to her shop and her blogs, videos and photos! Instagram

**Photos used in this post were used by permission from Lise Richardson and from her Etsy shop listings. **

Summer Planning

I looked at my calendar and realized that summer is quickly approaching and I should probably start planning some things for us to do this summer that doesn't involve Netflix, YouTube, eating out excessively or spending too much money.

First things first. I have to assume that most of my kids friends are going away for the summer.  And potential baby-sitting friends too.
Whether it be abroad, all over Europe or Finland, to cottages or grandparents homes - I need to assume this. I don't typically have play dates set up every weekend like some families do but with summer and no day camps here for kids under five - I'm looking at filling the WHOLE day with as much fun and learning as possible.  And without exhausting myself or a budget!
Next, I have to hope for an awesome summer - weather wise. Last summer I think was one of the best ones out of the nearly six years of living here. It was sunny and warm for about 95% of the summer and we made use of it everyday with trips to the playground and swimming in a lake in the evenings.
However that can get boring - constantly going the same places and I also have to remember that I now have 3 mobile children!
I need to also remember that the kids vary in age and that each child needs something different!

1. V-Man is five and needs schedules, routines of some kind, sensory stimulation and can easily get frustrated with us. He's also going to a new school in the fall, so the more fun and practice in social skills he has, the better overall and hopefully will ease him into a better transition for the new school.

2. A-Man is three and is fairly flexible. However he still needs that 2 hours nap during the day and refuses to nap at home. His tantrums from being the slightest bit tired are extreme and exhausting for us. So timing will be crucial and coming up with creative ideas too so he doesn't get bored.

3. M-Girl is one and this will be her first big summer that she gets to really explore and see what's around her. She's also a napper still and she's the most flexible out of the three for adapting to changes in plans and can nap while being carried or pushed in a pram.

I've found a lot of indoor ideas on Pinterest for rainy or stormy days and they are mostly sensory play or quiet play.
I love arts and crafts with the kids and some ideas I found were:

• Reading and regular trips to the library
• Hama bead crafts
• Painting with different tools or types of paint (ie Apple or potato stamping, whipped cream painting, using bubble wrap, egg cartons etc.)
• Threading pipe cleaners into a sieve
• Beads and string
• Threading large holed buttons 
• Threading shoe laces into boards
• Cooking and baking
• Colour book made out of paint chip samples from the hardware store
• Busy boxes with certain activities for each day for quiet time.
• Making a sensory cloth book out of scraps of fabric (I assure you it won't be fancy coming from me!) to take with us anywhere.
• Creating a Postcrossing account for the three of them together and starting their own collection of postcards.  Who doesn't love getting real mail?
• Sensory bottles - filling bottles with glitter glue and water and adding little objects inside for them to find.
• Potty training 2 kids. This I need to really push and try hard to get them both at least using the potty half the time (ideal) successfully.

For outdoor play or adventures:

• Go to the large garden shop and take a look at all the plants. I'm not a big green thumber myself but I think it could be fun.
• Have the kids start their own little plant buddy that they can water and watch it grow.
• The lake is nearby - so swimming is a definite choice to cool off in the evenings and get them to use up that last bit of energy they always seem to have in the evenings! (Case in point it's 8 pm and 2/3 are still bouncing about in a dark room, as I type this on my phone.)
• The woods are also nearby and we will also hopefully be able to pick berries! Last summer was crummy for berry season as it was so sunny and not as wet.
• We also enjoy hiking a lot!
• Bubbles and bubble snake makers, big bubbles...
• Playgrounds
• Chalk drawing
• Picnics! I recently got a stack-able stainless steel lunch container for all of our snacks!
• Museums on Fridays - it's free and if the exhibitions would interest younger children - then it could be fun. 
• Grocery shopping at the local farmers market square, which is only available in the summer months. This is something I keep saying I'll do and this year I really want to push for it and support local. Even if it's a super far walk away...
• And because you pay cash at these outdoor markets, I'd be more likely to be careful how much I spend and less food would go to waste!
• Play dates of course when they're available. 
• Camping - this is something that I think only SH would do with one child at a time or we could do together while V-Man is at overnight care. Mostly because if V-Man can open a zipper, there's a strong possibility of him trying to escape the tent.
• Train trip to Helsinki for a day and possibly Estonia by boat. This would have to be also when V-Man is away simply because he doesn't always do well with traveling and losing him in a big and unfamiliar place for us is nerve wrecking.

I'm not saying my kids will go a whole summer without a movie at home but I certainly want to decrease the oppourtunity and take advantage of not having to study myself as well.

So here's to a busy and budget friendly summer! (If the weather ever co-operates!  Still getting some flurries occasionally and it's nearly May!
BIMU

I Should've Married a Plumber

So good news everyone - my bathroom sink has been replaced with a beautiful identical twin - all shiny and new.
And when I asked the 3 (yeah they sent me 3 young/my age plumbers!) guys if they could tweak my toilet so it stops leaking every time we flush it - they told me they've sent a request in and someone should be in either the same day or the following day.

Alright, looks like I'm stuck at home again waiting for a plumber.
I got a phone call around 10 am and the guy told me wrong number and hung up...after asking me something in Finnish.  He wasn't a telemarketer I don't think - because most love practicing their English - but it wasn't him.
That and my number is private so I shouldn't be getting any telemarketers calling me anyway!

My stomach's been cramping on and off all day (and yesterday too - darn you kebab!) so of course the door bell would ring either:

A) When I'm stuck in the bathroom - home alone.
Or
B) Even worse.

I didn't think there was a possibility for an "even worse" but apparently there is.

B) was my body decided to have the stinkiest mess ever and less than 5 minutes after I get out - the door bell rings.

I rush to the door and am eternally grateful that I have dogs and shout to the repair man that I need to put the dogs away one moment.
I then rush to do just that and check the toilet for you know - any trails (MEN you're not the only one - us ladies have this too!) and did a double flush and scrub.
I let the guy in and when I show him the bathroom I am nearly knocked out by my own stench.

How embarrassing.  But I pretend as if it's the smell of roses floating in the air and hold my breath and go to another room to let him do his job.  He also does a great poker face.
Meanwhile I madly tap out a message to my BF in Canada about this horrific ordeal and she just laughed and my other Facebook friends said thankfully he's probably used to these kinds of smells :).

Note to self - hold it.  Just hold it.  Or become a plumber...
BIMU

A Side of Autism: New friends!

I had no idea how relieving it was to make a friend.
Of course I'm happy to say I know several people that I consider friends - both near and (very) far!

But I'm also happy to announce that we finally have a friend that is also in a similar situation as us.
I reached out in a Facebook group of mothers in my area asking if anyone knew someone with an autistic child because I could really use the peer support.

Not that SH isn't a great listener but I'm sure he's busy thinking of a hundred other things than to be bothered listening to me nag, complain and worry about everything regularly!  So in the end I just feel as if I'm nagging his ear off.
And who wants that?!

I have inquired about peer support from our social worker and we had been invited to events where it's for the whole family to join but because it's strictly in Finnish and my Finnish is so not ready for intensive discussion about jumping, teeth grinding and climbing and food snatching from strangers - that we haven't gone.  That or something else has come up.
I also find it a bit intimidating (yet exciting a bit!) to go to these group events, especially with a potential language barrier and not knowing a single person there.  But that's just me.

Right, so I reached out to a local foreign mothers only group and right away got a message from someone saying they knew someone who could probably use a friend like me too.

I got in touch with this lady, KC and turns out that her boy "Tops" as she calls him in her blog also has autism - diagnosed about a year ago.
Turns out we have a mutual friend through the university - so that's nice too and it also shows how tiny Jyväskylä can be! :)
We quickly got chatting on Facebook and it was just a huge relief to know someone and getting to know someone personally (as opposed to just reading complete strangers' blogs...like you might be doing by reading mine... :) ) and we seemed to hit it off right away.

Well, last weekend we decided on a play date - or as much play as the kids wanted with each other and met at a local fenced-in playground.

Tops and A-Man deciding which is the most dangerous route to take!

It was great to chit chat with another parent in a similar situation and I think for me it was very therapeutic!

The first thing I noticed about Tops - who like many autistic children come off as quite neuro-typical for the first five minutes (at least to me) -  is that he has the most happiest personality!

He was super happy, very kind and extremely clever with climbing and balancing!  I think so much that A-Man tried to follow him!

Also the first thing I heard was the grinding of teeth.  And for that moment - it wasn't MY V-Man!
Of course V-Man did some teeth grinding, along with munching on an apple - but it was nice to meet another parent who has to hear it too! :)
For me it's the equivalent of nails on a chalk board - I can't stand either one and having it come from my kids' mouths but ah well.

We were able to discuss when our children were diagnosed, how did we know (or not), how we felt about autism and the diagnosis by doctors of "mental retardation", whether or not autistic children could truly benefit from having siblings, and so on.

So if you're able to find another parent with a similar condition as your own child - I truly recommend it!
It's a great way to vent, learn and exchange ideas and in general I think it's better for one's sanity - just knowing there's someone else who's going through a difficult patch that you can talk to - makes the world of a difference than being alone and bottling it up.
And it's so nice because they understand and they're not judging your child for playing with odd objects, screaming or walking on their toes or flapping their hands or being obsessed about particular things!

BIMU

"No Pain, No Gain"

Well if that ^ isn't the truth then I don't know what is anymore.

I went to the hospital thirty minutes early today, took an ibuprofen and read a book I started a couple days ago - a Jack Reacher novel by Lee Child (my first one!).
Anyhow, I waited and waited and my appointment time came and left...the procedure's only supposed to take up to ten minutes so I was confused why I waited nearly forty-five minutes but anyhow.
Finally it was my turn and I walked into a room with two female nurses and a male doctor waiting to do the procedure.
The doctor clearly explained the point of Essure and it was everything I had read about in English (in case the doctor didn't speak English or very well) and I was prepared.

I had expected some pain relievers beforehand, as I read online that some women got a needle down south so they were numb and couldn't feel anything.
That was not my case.

It was honestly a really cool procedure - I don't dare say "surgery" because no incisions were made and I wasn't knocked out for it.  The nurses strapped my feet into these black Donald Duck-like boots on stirrups and as I was shimmying my butt down closer to the doctor he decided it was prime time for some small talk.
Just mostly chit chat about my children's names and why we went with Finnish names and the nurses spoke with me in Finnish asking what languages they spoke and so on.
They thought A-Man's samples of Finnglish were adorable and then there was a camera placed inside.
It was really slender and tiny - didn't even know he had placed it inside, had it not been for the jumbo flat screen behind his head up on the wall for me to see my insides.
They also flushed my insides with saline water so they could see everything clearly...so afterwards - do have a pad in your underwear because it'll be raining down there for awhile.

Once my Fallopian tubes were found - he showed me the tiny Essure coil and then click click - he inserted it.  He was able to do this all from this tube-like device (trust me - I would've taken photos if I had my phone in my hand - it was that neat!) - so there was no need for jumbo male doctor fingers to go inside.
Is it just me or do I always get doctors with long finger nails or jumbo log-sized fingers?!

That's when the pain started.  Good grief!
I thought and expected some pain of course - but once they were in and the camera removed - I put my underwear and pants on and was ready to pass out from the pain.

Have you ever been in labour before?  Or had serious crohn's pains?  Or severe period pains?
Or maybe you've had migraines that were super nasty and you were nearly blinded by the pain?
On top of all that mushed up together - you were also kinda hungry since you weren't allowed to eat or drink 4-6 hours prior.
That was me.

The doctor inquired how I felt during the procedure and I told him bluntly that it didn't hurt until he put the second coil in and I may as well be in labour right now.
He looked at me trying to hold my tears back and requested some pain relief from the nurse for me.
"Do many women feel like they're having contractions right after this?!  Why is this so ridiculously painful?  And I don't mean emotional pain - this is CONTRACTION pain!" I grunted at him - tears pouring down my face.

It wasn't enough.  They gave me 1.4 grams (plus the 400 grams I had 45 minutes before going in) in painkillers and also a shot of direct pain relief into the back of my hip/arse.
I laid in a recovery room bed - thankfully alone and just sobbed.
Finally the drugs started to kick in enough that I could walk slowly and I went on the bus - since I needed groceries anyway.  The nurses were super nice and even the doctor took a peek in on me lying in bed and they told me I'll have an appointment in August some time to test the tubes and see if they're blocked or not.

I grabbed some Subway and got a bit of groceries that I could carry comfortably and the pain seemed to subside (thank goodness).
While eating my sandwich I saw a very pregnant lady waddle into the mall and was quickly reminded that this pain (should be!) is temporary and the reason for getting Essure - is because I don't want to be pregnant again.
3 is enough and we're more than happy with that.

So - no pain, no gain indeed.
BIMU

*Update: It's the morning after and I'm happy to let you know I'm not feeling any pain at all!

Let's Chat Apps: Whatsapp

If you have internet on your phone or at least Wi-Fi - I definitely recommend downloading Whatsapp!
Whatsapp allows you to send instant messages, photos, videos and even call them (haven't tried this but a friend said it works) - no matter where they live or what phone they use.
*Nokia, Apple, Windows, Blackberry and Android friendly and with each other

It's free for the first year and after that it's 99 US cents a year. 0 ads - another perk!
I use it to keep in touch with my friends abroad and even with the friends in Finland too!

I prefer this over Facebook Messenger, which I think is silly having to have that feature for the Facebook app, so I got rid of that and just use Facebook on the internet (on a proper computer) or on the browser on my phone for the sake of reading and responding to messages.

The only problem I have is adding people (non Finnish phone numbers) to my Whatsapp list.  There's usually + signs involved and extra 0 and 1 - just a mess.
So I usually try and get my friends to add me instead if I can't get them in my phone contacts list.

SH doesn't want internet usage on his phone - so I recommended he got an iPhone so we can have the iMessage feature and have free texting whenever and wherever in the world.
He travels about 2-3 times a year abroad - so this would be a lot more budget friendly if he didn't want to use internet abroad.  Or if he doesn't have internet where he is - which has happened several times! :)

Anyway I'm watching Jim Gaffigan's "Mr. Universe" on Netflix! :) 
BIMU

See Ya Later

I think it's quite safe to say we are personally done with having children.
Growing up I envisioned one boy and one girl, as I had grown up, and if you add an extra boy in there-that's what we have.
I'm pretty sure I wrote about this before but I really was surprised about getting pregnant the third time. It was not planned and quite unexpected but we kept the baby and she's a wonderful addition to our family.

I have thought long and hard about what I'm going to write next so I'll just come out with it.
Had I known about V-Man's autism diagnosis-prior to planning our second pregnancy, I probably would've been against having more children. However, we were already expecting during his tests and that's the way things go.

Not that I hate my other two kids or want the V-Man growing up lonely!!
I just see it from the perspective that I and SH could put 100% effort into his PECS, therapy and maybe he'd be better or further along in his development.
He's doing great at the daycare and seems to be getting better at communicating what he wants by dragging us to the item or location, or by bringing the item he wants to us.
He's eating a lot better and trying new foods that we feared would never ever happen up to two years ago!
I'd say our % of trying therapies with him at home is under 50%.

We try to make up for it by taking him places, hiking, swimming everyday in the summer, encouraging him to explore outside (typically fenced in playgrounds or out in the woods) and inside as well with different textures and smells (ie cooking).
Also SH pointed out that siblings can teach a lot of things that therapy and daycare simply couldn't, like: compassion, bullying and defending yourself and social skills.

So based on previous experience with getting pregnant with M-Girl and knowing SH wouldn't go for a vasectomy - we looked at all of our options.

A) A vasectomy had a waiting list in Finland of at least two years. Women seemed to have half the wait time.
B) An IUD is great but needs to be replaced every five years or so.
C) The pill typically works but I do experience pregnancy-like symptoms regularly and often miss my period, despite having been finished breastfeeding four months ago.

I'm super fertile and I know it. The last thing we want is to bring another child into our life and not have any sanity left at all. Or patience for the three kids we have. Or end up hating each other and getting a divorce. Or not being able to split our attention evenly among each child.
And if a fourth child (or more) had "something" like the V-Man? I just don't think we could handle it.

So what did I decide on?
Essure.

I had a discussion with my doctor and told her quite firmly that three is more than enough for us. They're now at the age they are fighting and not quite grasping the idea of how sharing works - so yeah - 3 is enough!
I was told this is a permanent procedure and is quite effective. After the coils are inserted into your Fallopian tubes, there is a three months waiting period to ensure your tubes have grown over them and some dye is inserted to see if it gets past the (should be) blocked tubes. If it doesn't leak past - awesome it works and you no longer require birth control like condoms or pills.
Of course nothing is 100%.
I am scheduled to have this procedure done tomorrow around lunch time and I hope all goes well.
I'm reading reviews and some women have had awesome experiences, while others have not.
Some have even gotten pregnant after having the procedure done and having had the blocked tube test done too!
Holy nerve wrecking but trying to be positive! :)

I haven't shared this decision with many people - so please don't be offended if you're reading this for the first time!
Some friends have told me they'd rather their husband/boyfriend to do it and that they don't like the idea of having that part of their womanhood removed or not in use.
However, I have a husband with a condition that any amount of stress can cause flare ups and he'd be in more pain than he can tolerate and I can't afford to have him sick at home and in a lot of pain (read: mostly useless with helping me with the kids!).
And it should be noted it's not that he wouldn't get it done!  Just those stress flare ups are too much.
I also don't feel (and won't) less womanly by doing this.  Why should I?
I've been fortunate enough to have three children and I'm done.  I'd do it one more time as a surrogacy for my closest friend here - but seeing as that's illegal in Finland - I am not able to.

Off to watch Daredevil on Netflix!
BIMU

PS: Daredevil is pretty good! SH wasn't a fan of the Ben Affleck movie - but so far so good.

BIMU Reviews: Pannukakku Talo

Yesterday it was girl day.  I haven't had one in ages with M-Girl - so we opted to go for a small play date with some friends and pick up some clothes their daughter had outgrown and because I heard so many things about Pannukakku Talo (Pancake Building/House)  - thought we'd give it a try!
I realize she's 1 and probably doesn't care about Mommy and Me time at all - but I think it's important to try and spend a bit of time with each child - so that's what we did. :)

Friends told me that:

A) You pay first at the counter then you get a number and can go sit down.

B) There's a play area for children in a corner.

C) The portions are fairly large and filling.  Worth every cent!

I was hoping to try it out before with a knitting group but due to potential allergies - we decided to avoid the place to be safe.
*I asked the restaurant via their Facebook page and they DO have the following options for those with these allergies:

• Milk-free
• Lactose-free
• Gluten-free
• Eggs-free

The menu is available in English up front and after quickly scanning it and being quite hungry, as I had walked a lot - I picked the salmon pancake and for dessert - apple and cinnamon.

Salmon pancake served with a slice of lemon and dill sprinkled on top!
Might sound really weird - having savory toppings on a pancake but it was really quite nice!

Apple cinnamon pancake served with whipped cream and a light dusting of powdered sugar.

The salmon pancake I was more nervous about because I worried there would be only a few pieces of salmon and scattered far and wide - however!  That wasn't the case!

Lots of lovely salmon and dill scattered all over the pancake and it was nice and hot and lovely.

The apple cinnamon one came with whipped cream - I believe all the dessert/sweet pancakes do (I was seated near the kitchen door and saw the waitresses zoom in and out with orders)!

We didn't have to wait very long for our salmon pancake and opted to drink water with our meal.
I noticed the customers around me seemed quite pleased with their food and our waitress did ask if everything was alright half-way through our meal, which was nice!

I was absolutely stuffed after having the salmon pancake - and I was sharing it with M-Girl!  But we trucked on and took on the apple cinnamon one as well.

There is aluminum foil for you to wrap up any leftovers you may want to take home and they do offer take-out!

I had one friend comment on Facebook that he wasn't very pleased with the service and his comment was:

"Sorry, but I've been there several times and the service was terrible every time. There is never enough staff, tables are left uncleared, people queuing at the entrance for ages to get seated. When you get to the counter no staff to take your order as have to help in the kitchen, clear tables, refill coffee counter etc........."

Thankfully that wasn't our case - as it would've been a real kill joy on a first visit.
I got there after the lunch rush - the tables were mostly full and filling - but I suppose it's all in the timing!  (And on a Saturday at that!)

Anyhow, I highly recommend it as I had a very pleasant experience there with the food, presentation and timing!

I'm sure if M-Girl could speak she would agree as she ate about half of each pancake herself!
I also noticed several other families there with young children and a young man with his service dog was in there as well.

I look forward to going again and trying the other savory pancakes! :)
BIMU

*Funky highlighted text thanks to the joys of copying and pasting Facebook text.

A Side of Autism: Strangers Being Nice

I'm a huge fan of "Autism Daddy"'s blog and I remember reading once that someone tried to help him and Autism Mommy out with Kyle and it was kind of worse than being ignored or stared at.

I read it thinking, "I don't get it but I sort of do."

Now, after our recent trip to the hospital (7 14+ days ago), I get it.

V-Man despises hospitals, clinics, doctors and it doesn't matter if you're touching him, trying to listen to his heart/lungs, stabbing him with a vaccine or checking his ears - he hates you.
He hates the environment of hospitals and clinics and it doesn't matter that your scrubs are colourful or the standard sea green...it also doesn't matter how many times you offer him a bucket of stickers either.

The only way to keep him relatively close for any amount of time and not having him try to bolt out the doors while we wait, is to have a phone fully charged and ready with his favourite Youtube videos.  They are indeed bookmarked on my phone.

I try to remember to bring a snack or two, a bottle of water and some item for him to fiddle with and keep him calm.
I'm lucky to remember his social security ID card for check in.

As was the situation last week couple of weeks ago - I dragged him out the door so fast - I forgot his card, forgot his snack, forgot everything and my phone was at 50%.

Not so smart.

After nearly drowning himself in water - based on how much he was drinking from the cooler in the wait room - and realizing I didn't have diapers for him (should he have an overflowing moment) - I played "mean Mommy" and said no.
"Sorry bud - you can't have more water because I forgot your diaper and who knows how long we have to wait for."

That's okay.  He decided he doesn't want water anymore but WOW check out the buttons on the vending machine beside the cooler for all those different kinds of pop!

1. He doesn't drink pop - he's 5.
2. He's tried it and doesn't like the fizzy feeling usually.
3. He's never asked for vending machine drinks before.
4. I didn't have any coins on me anyway.

I hate to sound like an un-grateful person - however this other patient happened to have a 2€ coin in his pocket and he sidled over and popped it into the machine and asked V-Man which one he wanted.
I didn't bother telling him he was autistic and doesn't drink pop and that he's only 5 and his mother forgot diapers and so on.

So I just tried to appreciate the fact that a complete stranger was treating V-Man like any other child and getting him a soda for the sake of making him happy.

V-Man got a bottle of Pepsi Next and was thrilled.  I was hoping HE would be happy with just having a bottle to shake and lick and drop repeatedly and so on.
But no.  Of course not - he wanted me to open it and let him drink it.

I thanked the stranger with the 2€ in his pocket and tried to calm V-Man who began a massive tantrum/melt-down over me not giving him pop.
Wow was I thrilled for the doctor to call his name 30 seconds (longest 30 seconds ever other than while in labour) later!

I guess my ideal outcome for this kind of situation is if the polite stranger had asked me if he could help by giving V-Man the 2€ to buy a bottle of pop - then it would have opened up the oppourtunity for me to politely and firmly decline it.
Not because I want to be a mean mom but because:

• I don't want my kids thinking that if they cry and scream and fight long enough - they'll get what they want.
• He's 5 and doesn't even like pop.  He would've had one little sip (had I let him) and made a face then pushed it away.
• V-Man has to somehow learn that mommy doesn't always (hardly ever!) carry coins for these machines - sorry kiddo.

Never mind the fact that I've been cutting back greatly on my consumption of fizzy drinks!

I gave that Pepsi Next to SH when I got home.  

Well, once the doctor looked over his blood work to confirm NO infection and that the nose is most likely broken but nothing can be done until the swelling goes down - he was thrilled to leave.  And I can't blame him.

Anyway I'm off to bed - busy week coming up!
BIMU

I'm Stuck

I grew up with a mother and father and a little brother. No pets other than an occasional hamster or my mother's Feng Shui gold and black fish.
I've known for as long as I could speak that I am adopted.

I was not born in another country then bought or brought over to Canada to be raised.
And luckily, you cannot tell that I'm adopted if you were to look at myself with my family.
I have an Asian looking mother and a Canadian father with Caucasian but slightly dark features (hair, eyes and he tans really well), my brother is biologically their son an he's a mix of the two.
My cousin had no idea I was adopted until four years ago because apparently I look just like my parents.
It's a compliment but if you look at my biological father - the resemblance is there.

I've had the privilege of traveling to China twice in my early twenties to meet my biological father and his parents. I've also met my half brother Sky on my first trip too and think of him often. Of course I'm about 17 years older than he is and hope he remembers me.
I have met my aunt and occasionally keep in touch with her - mostly at Christmas but after a huge fight with my biological father - I think I've become the black sheep of the family living in Finland.

I've debated on looking up my biological mother but there were simply too many people online in Facebook with the same name.
I'm curious of course to see what her life is like and to see if she would like to be acquaintances.
I'm not angry or hurt.  I'm past that phase and didn't think I'd ever find her.
I'm talking at least 8 pages of people with the same name.

Then I found her.  At least I think so.  Then when I found a comment referencing the province I'm from - I'm positive it must be her.
And then after some time - I realize it is.

What do I do?
I mean I'd love to talk and say hi, I'm married now and have three kids and live in Finland (hint: have no fear - I won't magically fly over and walk into your work place or show up at your home) - what's up?

I am trying to be as realistic as possible.

• I don't expect a relationship of any kind.
• I'm not mad or sad or anything more than neutral and want to say hello.
• I don't want money or anything materialistic from her at all.
• I realize that my writing her could probably terrify her and she'll never write back or maybe we can become acquaintances - as 30 years is a long time and hopefully any kind of issues she had with putting me up for adoption is laid to rest.
• She could have found me online easily and I didn't move until I was nearly 21 - so she probably doesn't want anything to do with me.  Phone number was always in the phone book too - so there were options to reach me if she wanted.
• What if she doesn't want to be found?
• What if she's embarrassed or ashamed and doesn't want to bother ME?

It's not that I don't appreciate what my family has done for me in raising me.  Not that at all.

I still love them the same and consider them my "real parents" like anyone else who has a family and when it comes down to it -the definition of "real parents" for most - simply means who did it all.

Who raised a child that wasn't wanted, needed or loved - the real parent(s).

That's one thing I got asked all the time, "But what about your real parents?"

Let's just put it this way - I learned how to pronounce and spell "biological" at a really young age.

I'm not aiming to replace my real parents whatsoever - I'm just super curious how things are for everyone.

On the other hand - I'm quite a curious person and after digging around am learning that I have a biological half sister.

No idea if she knows about me.

I remember writing in my dinosaur covered diary as a super young child (8 or 9 years old) a list of things I'd say if I ever met my biological parents and now that I have the possibility to do it - I can't think of a single thing to say.

What would you do?

Stuck in the middle,

BIMU

PS It should be noted that both my biological and real parents all knew each other at some point - so I wasn't adopted through the newspaper or an orphanage or anything like that.
It's a rather long story and perhaps some day I'll write it out.

PPS I sent a message.

A Conversation With My Son

Last night, I had the most intense conversation with the V-Man and even though it was completely one-sided - it felt as if perhaps he understood me. Even a little bit.

I found it almost therapeutic and I suppose as a parent of a non-verbal child or even a newborn - it seems and feels silly to talk endlessly about the weather, the food you're going to eat and so on.  So I usually don't say anything to him but the necessities (i.e. "This is our bus stop", "Time to wake up!") and after last night's experience - this will change.

I woke him up last night by covering him with a blanket on the sofa and that had him screaming. So I grabbed him and had him sleep beside me on our sofa bed.
I started to hug him tightly and soothed him with our "Alphabet Game", that we haven't played in months.
To play, I just ask what starts with the letter A, B etc and list as many words as possible with that letter. It seems to calm him down and give some comfort in the rhythm of my listing.

I got to letter "B" and he was calm and really listening.
Then I decided to talk to him. For the next fifteen minutes, lying in the dark - it was just us and nobody else.

I told him I'm sorry I'm mean and yell so much. I told him I love him a lot.
I told him I hope he's happy and that I would do anything to get rid of his autism and I really hope he does speak some day because I'm sure he has a lovely voice.
I want to hear his voice, his dreams and nightmares, his happiness and pain and to hear him talk and ask questions.
I want to know his goals and what he wants to be when he gets older. I want to know everything and anything he wants to share with me.
I want to know how his day at daycare was and how his time at overnight care was too, instead of reading about it from someone else in a notebook.
I want to know who his friends are, if there's someone he likes or is trying to play with.
I want to know why he fights with A-Man and what he thinks of his sister.
I want to know if there's something at home he'd like to learn, like cooking.
I tell him he's brave and I cannot imagine being voiceless and not in control of my body.
I tell him I understand his frustration.

I thank him for being born first and taking a huge one for the team.

For those fifteen minutes, while I'm quietly talking in the dark, he's listening. He's calm and not asleep. He alternates between holding a blanket over his head and holding my hand or rubbing my boob (which I push his hands away) -and looking me in the eye.

For those fifteen minutes - I forget he has a diagnosis. A label. A condition or two.
For those fifteen minutes - it's just us and we're having a deep conversation.
For those fifteen minutes - I am in tears but manage to get my thoughts out loud and clear.
For those fifteen minutes - his autism took a break.

Here's to the next fifteen minutes.
BIMU

Going (Semi) Crunchy: Reusable Cloth Wipes

I'm going (semi) crunchy in our household.
We tried being mega crunchy about a year ago but it didn't stick.
I say "semi" because SH still uses disposable wipes and when we travel or go out (and actually remember to bring wipes or diapers with us).

However, I'm back at it again.

We have 3 children and 2 of them are still in diapers.
While M-Girl refuses to lie down for a diaper change, now that she has the power to stand/walk/run/bounce - we've stopped using cloth diapers on her.
V-Man also stands on the toilet seat for diaper changes and we go through a lot of wipes.
So much that I was getting frustrated by the cost, the waste and the complaints radiating from SH's mouth about how we ran out of wipes, his fingers still smell like poo (despite washing his hands with liquid hand soap, body wash and sometimes shampoo!) and how it was taking about 8 wipes to clean up V-Man's tush.

Showering constantly seems like a waste of water and seeing as we're still waiting for a plumber to come and install our bathroom sink (thanks to that Christmas Day incident - um over 3 months ago) - I can't even use that handy little spray hose attached to the sink for M-Girl.

I am a hoarder when it comes to yarn (just celebrated 3 months of not buying yarn for myself!) and while I love the idea of hand knit or crocheted wash cloths - having my yarn stash go to my son's buttocks just seemed - like a waste.
However, I also had a lot of fleece!

So I roughly cut up squares of fleece and soaked them in water and lightly scented baby oil in a container with a lid.
SH doesn't use them as much as he should but I've noticed he does use them occasionally to wipe the kids!

Benefits of our crunchy baby wipes?

• Puts a dent in my fabric stash.
• Soft 
• Durable
• Re-usable
• Washable
• No need to dry - just toss 'em back into your container when they're washed!
• Colourful!
• Cute!
• Can teach kids colours, how to recycle, shapes and whatever you like - depending on the pattern/colour of your fleece.
• Doesn't fray - so no need to stitch/embroider/crochet the edges - unless you want prettier poo wipes for your baby...
• You can use them yourself
• Scentless if you want
• Super pretty smelling if you want

Once they've been used up and beyond - you can toss them away and cut up some new ones!
We've had ours for a long time - about a year - and still they're like new.

So for about 7€ - I can get 4 packages (64 wipes a pack) totaling 256 wipes and that brings me to 0.02 cents per wipe.

Or just invest maybe 2-5€ worth of fleece (I consider it nearly free as it was already in my stash to begin with and picked it out of the bulk pieces bin and not off a roll) and have these wipes for years.

I rinse the bin occasionally (once a year count?) and regularly add more scented baby oil and water when needed.

To wash them, we have a nasty bucket in the bathroom - for anything wet, super soiled (i.e. puked/pooped/peed on) and I toss them in there.  Or if the washing machine is open (we only have the space for a top loader style) - I pretend to be Michael Jordan and toss that rag in the machine.

Just kidding...I'm far too short and it's not that far to throw the wipe into the machine! :)

I also soak them in vinegar if I don't plan on doing a load immediately and typically wash them at super high temperature (my machine goes up to 90).

However this rarely happens because we always have laundry to wash!  (The soaking in vinegar and the washing at 90.)

Also, I know a friend questioned me using fleece because of the fabric being absorbent but not leaking (which is why it's awesome for cloth diapers, breast pads and cloth pads even) - but they do get wet in a box of water! :)

Another friend suggested adding a couple drops of tea tree oil into the container to help soothe baby's soft skin and making it smell nice.

Your (semi) crunchy blogger,

BIMU

30 Days Done

So I wrote here, here, here, here, got super lazy and finally remembered to write here and it finally brings me to now.

I finished my 30 days juicing challenge today and am proud of myself.
I didn't fast - because the main point was to just try to make juice everyday.
There were also days I didn't juice and therefor felt like crap without.

It's something I'm going to continue and because I'm not noticing a huge weight loss - about 2-3kg give or take - I'm going to keep going and keep my portions of regular food as healthy as possible, minimum cheating and small.

What I did notice?

• Better use of the bathroom - my body is doing its thing regularly and I'm no longer going 2-3 days without having used the bathroom (the oh so mighty "#2").
• More energy and alert - I don't drink coffee or tea often - so for me, this is a nice alternative.  (Caffeine from coffee gives me headaches I've learned!)
• Drinking more water and eating better.  I had McDonald's once (maybe twice) this whole time, didn't eat out as much and cut the kebab out too.  And if I did eat out, especially with my kids - I didn't consume my whole portion and shared a lot of it.
• Seeing as I used to eat out every weekend when taking the kids out to do errands - this is a huge step up for me!
• Bought more vegetables and fruit and experimented a lot more with combinations!
• I actually look forward to juicing.

So, I'll keep juicing once a day and try to push for twice a day - especially in class (the wait for the microwaves is annoying)...we'll see how this goes! :)

Time to go to the post office!
Take care,
BIMU

Let's Chat Apps: Photo Grid

I couldn't figure out how people were posting on their Instagram accounts all these cool collages and adding stickers or text and it made sense to me instead of posting individual photos of the same thing but in different positions/angles.

So I did a search in the App Store and looked up "photo collage" and came across this gem, "Photo Grid".

Why I like it:

• Simple to use
• I can do a grid-style collage or a pin-board
• There's a wide variety of background options as well
• Free but there's some updates available for purchase but I haven't explored those (yet).

Checking out an Easter Market at Toivolon Vanha Piha!

A photo of pizza made with the delicious Craig Beckley's sausages and biltong!

Walks with my dog and his rolling about.

Soap making.

Doing some occupational therapy with V-Man!

Took him to Hop Lop to run about one day.

Made some juice with M-Girl!

I guess the point of these collages is to showcase several photos (perhaps about the same topic or location or even the same item) but in various angles in 1 photo.

Anyway until next time!
BIMU

Backing Away...

In one of my previous posts - a reader asked me directly after Easter dinner if I was referring to her in the line where I refer to someone as a snobby bitch and that I've been pretending to like them for X while.

Nope.
And as her husband pointed out - I probably wouldn't have invited them over for dinner if I had felt that way.

It was just a general statement overall - and I generally am not the type to bitch about people I know on my Facebook (or in this blog) and there are very few exceptions (this post being one of them and I'm keeping the bitching to the extremely bare minimum).
I try to keep bitching to a minimum and as a general statement about something that truly irked me (IE that time the bus completely drove past me and other waiting passengers and I had to be home in 10 minutes for V-Man's taxi to arrive.)
It's also why after having V-Man, I didn't announce A-Man or M-Girl's pregnancies at all on my Facebook.  Not even a hint of it.  Because I was like any other pregnant woman: exhausted, aching, sick, having migraines, barfing my guts up, starving, craving pop and pickles and eventually going in labour.
Why bother drowning my FB and my friends' with all that repetitive information for 3-pregnancies worth?  So I didn't.  But that was my choice and I got a lot of heat afterward from some people because I didn't share with the world that I was feeling fat, nauseous, round, depressed, pregnant and exhausted for 18-months worth.
I've also noticed I don't post as many photos of the kids (or videos) and not near as often as when V-Man was a baby (of course because he was the first)...I still take them but share their faceless photos on Instagram instead.  Or once every couple of months, I add some photos here and there.

For years I have hidden people on my Facebook and only went to their profile occasionally to like this and leave a small comment here and there.
"Happy Birthday!"  "That's so cute!"  "Great work!"

Then I went through a spring cleaning fest of my Facebook and figured those that I already have hidden and rarely talk to, with the exception of bumping into the store occasionally - I probably am truly not really friends with them.

I've also restricted my personal profile to some people (and it's growing) because I cannot handle the stress that's brought on by other people virtually bitch slapping each other and usually it's about religion or politics.  I typically don't comment on these - I just mainly shared an article for other reasons than the political or religious bit.
OR I share it to read later on when I'm wide awake at 2-5 am (most days of the week) and don't even have an opinion on the matter but wanted to read it later.

I don't talk religion or politics because it causes too much drama, heat and un-necessary hate (often but not always).

I recently posted an article about a father disowning their child because the child came out of the closet.
It was rather sad and the fact that the father claimed their child being gay was "MUCH worse than death" - I'm picturing slow torture and extremely painful types of dying - I was disturbed by how a parent can suddenly shut off the "love my kid" valve and that's that.  And then think "Well I'd rather die because a gay child is just the absolute worse possible thing in the world."

I've since had to remove that from my personal wall because it sparked so much controversy between two of my friends.  One whom I've known for nearly 15 years and the other less than two.
I didn't bring up the religious part but the two of them did and I snapped inside.
It's not the main reason - however it was just another basket of straw on the camel's back.  
I hate that I had to remove it because it was a really eye-opener of a piece for me, parenting wise, and I hate having to think of every single person's feelings or points of views when I share something.

(So please remove me if I repeatedly offend you - I don't mind at all.)

I contemplated removing myself entirely from FB but that doesn't do anyone any favours and since nobody e-mails anyone anymore - thanks to the convenience of FB and other social media - it's just easier for me to update in one place about the kids or their photos.

So what did I do?
I restricted my profile - and yes I noticed that they also decided to do the same to me - which is weird but that's their choice.

3 years ago, I stopped talking to my oldest friend because religion got in the way.
This isn't a religion bashing post - I assure you.
So I just blocked that friend (since they were going to do it to me and did for all of 1 day) and didn't talk to them again until I found out through a relative that their grandmother had passed away recently.
Now they're expecting a baby and I think/hope we've both matured enough that we can socialize online and not cause each other anymore unnecessary grief.

I have nothing against religion but am against the inequality there is in the world (regardless of what your beliefs are).
I'm just little miss neutral here.

I do have very religious friends and I think the reason why we get along so well is that they don't try to convert me or preach to me and I don't try to make them find a unicorn.
Same with my vegetarian/vegan friends or my friends that eat raw...I don't shove a cow cut up down their throats and they don't try to force me to be vegetarian/vegan/raw.

It's all about respect and mutual grounds for me.  If I truly don't like something I see on FB - I just hide it so I don't have to see it anymore.  And if it's continuously ongoing - I just politely and quietly remove that friend from my newsfeed ("hide them") and if I am offending someone - I certainly hope they remove me from their friends list if I annoy them that much or what have you.
Nearly 95% of the time - most people don't recognize that they've been removed as a friend on FB.  And for some reason, people get really upset when you've removed them and they didn't notice for 6-months to over a year...

I just think restricting is a great way to "stay friends" (or are we still?  Hard to say.) without getting anyone's knickers twisted in a bunch.

Do I have any regrets?
Nope.

Now I'm going to crash in bed as I was indeed awake from 2-4am (FOR NO FREAKING REASON) and feeling a bit flu-y.

Cough cough,
BIMU

Let's Chat Apps: Instagram

I'm a bit slow when it comes to technology - I totally admit that.
Prime example:  Netflix was first founded in 1997.  It's 2015...we JUST got it about 48 hours ago.

While everyone had Instagram for months (years?) - I only got it less than a year ago.
Now I'm borderline an Instagram skank.  I don't do selfies but I do take a lot of photos throughout the day and think, "I'll post these while I'm trying to fall asleep/waiting for the kids to fall asleep onto Instagram!...Oh this will look good....oh this even LOOKS like an Instagram photo...."

Yeah - mega nerd.

Anyway, I figured I'll do a blog post about my favourite apps (there aren't many yet - but I'm totally open to suggestions!) and rate them and whatnot.

Guess I'll talk about Instagram!
I debated for months whether to download Instagram.  Mostly because at the time, I had a Windows Lumia 620 and wasn't sure if Instagram was downloadable on anything but a snazzy iPhone.  Turns out it was and I became ADDICTED.

There are certain things I take photos of when I travel for example:

• Emergency vehicles
• Gardens (my mother in-law is a green thumber)
• Animals
• Mail boxes (I have a wonderful aunt that works for Canada Post!)
• Food
• Icons of the town
• Toilets - only if they're super weird (i.e. China's hole in the floor style - but I haven't been there in years!)
• Local crafts or yarn shops etc.

Anyways, the reason why I downloaded Instagram wasn't for selfies - haven't posted any actually. But because I think it's a great way to share little photos without having to get into Facebook and find a specific folder that this picture would belong to.

So easy.

And I try to be conscious of taking photos when at a restaurant.  I won't post it on Instagram immediately - unless the restaurant is really empty.
It's a courtesy thing and after reading this article about slow service and poor ratings from a popular NYC restaurant - it makes sense to post photos at a later time, to help speed up the service of the wait staff.

But that's just me.

I've since upgraded to an iPhone 4S and convinced hubby to use my iPhone 4 so we don't have to pay for text messages anymore (iMessage - did you know this?  It's a huge selling point for me that nobody seems to tell you about...) and since he won't use internet on his phone - Whatsapp is out of the question. :)

Anyway, I like that I've bonded with a lot of people over photos and I've been able to share some pretty funny photos too of stuff my kids and I do use hash tags quite a bit.  

For example my daily juices I've been making for the past 26 days have hash tags like: "#juice, #juicing,  #vegan (because it is even though I am not), #30daysjuicingchallenge" and so on.

I recommend Instagram (especially if you travel!) and I personally don't post photos of my kids' faces on Instagram because there's no control (either your account is "private" or "public") over who sees your account or who can follow you.  And some of my followers are spam bots - bit annoying, but ah well.

It's easy to use and I do use the filters they've provided and have recently discovered another app for making photo collages (and a separate one for making memes...again - super nerd)  - so a lot easier to combine photos into one instead of posting 2-6 photos individual of the same thing but different angle. :)

Until next time!
BIMU

PS Not sponsored - just really enjoy these apps I'll share!  Here's my Instagram account by the way!  I'd love a follow!