Tuesday, 7 April 2015

Backing Away...

In one of my previous posts - a reader asked me directly after Easter dinner if I was referring to her in the line where I refer to someone as a snobby bitch and that I've been pretending to like them for X while.

And as her husband pointed out - I probably wouldn't have invited them over for dinner if I had felt that way.

It was just a general statement overall - and I generally am not the type to bitch about people I know on my Facebook (or in this blog) and there are very few exceptions (this post being one of them and I'm keeping the bitching to the extremely bare minimum).
I try to keep bitching to a minimum and as a general statement about something that truly irked me (IE that time the bus completely drove past me and other waiting passengers and I had to be home in 10 minutes for V-Man's taxi to arrive.)
It's also why after having V-Man, I didn't announce A-Man or M-Girl's pregnancies at all on my Facebook.  Not even a hint of it.  Because I was like any other pregnant woman: exhausted, aching, sick, having migraines, barfing my guts up, starving, craving pop and pickles and eventually going in labour.
Why bother drowning my FB and my friends' with all that repetitive information for 3-pregnancies worth?  So I didn't.  But that was my choice and I got a lot of heat afterward from some people because I didn't share with the world that I was feeling fat, nauseous, round, depressed, pregnant and exhausted for 18-months worth.
I've also noticed I don't post as many photos of the kids (or videos) and not near as often as when V-Man was a baby (of course because he was the first)...I still take them but share their faceless photos on Instagram instead.  Or once every couple of months, I add some photos here and there.

For years I have hidden people on my Facebook and only went to their profile occasionally to like this and leave a small comment here and there.
"Happy Birthday!"  "That's so cute!"  "Great work!"

Then I went through a spring cleaning fest of my Facebook and figured those that I already have hidden and rarely talk to, with the exception of bumping into the store occasionally - I probably am truly not really friends with them.

I've also restricted my personal profile to some people (and it's growing) because I cannot handle the stress that's brought on by other people virtually bitch slapping each other and usually it's about religion or politics.  I typically don't comment on these - I just mainly shared an article for other reasons than the political or religious bit.
OR I share it to read later on when I'm wide awake at 2-5 am (most days of the week) and don't even have an opinion on the matter but wanted to read it later.

I don't talk religion or politics because it causes too much drama, heat and un-necessary hate (often but not always).

I recently posted an article about a father disowning their child because the child came out of the closet.
It was rather sad and the fact that the father claimed their child being gay was "MUCH worse than death" - I'm picturing slow torture and extremely painful types of dying - I was disturbed by how a parent can suddenly shut off the "love my kid" valve and that's that.  And then think "Well I'd rather die because a gay child is just the absolute worse possible thing in the world."

I've since had to remove that from my personal wall because it sparked so much controversy between two of my friends.  One whom I've known for nearly 15 years and the other less than two.
I didn't bring up the religious part but the two of them did and I snapped inside.
It's not the main reason - however it was just another basket of straw on the camel's back.  
I hate that I had to remove it because it was a really eye-opener of a piece for me, parenting wise, and I hate having to think of every single person's feelings or points of views when I share something.

(So please remove me if I repeatedly offend you - I don't mind at all.)

I contemplated removing myself entirely from FB but that doesn't do anyone any favours and since nobody e-mails anyone anymore - thanks to the convenience of FB and other social media - it's just easier for me to update in one place about the kids or their photos.

So what did I do?
I restricted my profile - and yes I noticed that they also decided to do the same to me - which is weird but that's their choice.

3 years ago, I stopped talking to my oldest friend because religion got in the way.
This isn't a religion bashing post - I assure you.
So I just blocked that friend (since they were going to do it to me and did for all of 1 day) and didn't talk to them again until I found out through a relative that their grandmother had passed away recently.
Now they're expecting a baby and I think/hope we've both matured enough that we can socialize online and not cause each other anymore unnecessary grief.

I have nothing against religion but am against the inequality there is in the world (regardless of what your beliefs are).
I'm just little miss neutral here.

I do have very religious friends and I think the reason why we get along so well is that they don't try to convert me or preach to me and I don't try to make them find a unicorn.
Same with my vegetarian/vegan friends or my friends that eat raw...I don't shove a cow cut up down their throats and they don't try to force me to be vegetarian/vegan/raw.

It's all about respect and mutual grounds for me.  If I truly don't like something I see on FB - I just hide it so I don't have to see it anymore.  And if it's continuously ongoing - I just politely and quietly remove that friend from my newsfeed ("hide them") and if I am offending someone - I certainly hope they remove me from their friends list if I annoy them that much or what have you.
Nearly 95% of the time - most people don't recognize that they've been removed as a friend on FB.  And for some reason, people get really upset when you've removed them and they didn't notice for 6-months to over a year...

I just think restricting is a great way to "stay friends" (or are we still?  Hard to say.) without getting anyone's knickers twisted in a bunch.

Do I have any regrets?

Now I'm going to crash in bed as I was indeed awake from 2-4am (FOR NO FREAKING REASON) and feeling a bit flu-y.

Cough cough,

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